why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

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you never them.

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 15:30 (twelve years ago)

curse you George Takei
https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/1174883_725181894177933_1857542976_n.jpg

Neil S, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 15:32 (twelve years ago)

the statue of liberty is a bad thing?

pplains, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 15:38 (twelve years ago)

haha

BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 19:28 (twelve years ago)

and no memes

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 19:50 (twelve years ago)

This is a story of a little boy named Theo. He woke up one morning and asked his mother, "Mom, what if there were no black people in the world?"

Well, his mother thought about that for a moment, and then said, "Son, follow me around today and let's just see what it would be like if there were no black people in the world."

Mom said, "Now go get dressed and we will get started." Theo ran to his room to put on his clothes and shoes. His mother took one look at him and said, "Theo, where are your shoes? Those clothes are all wrinkled, son, I must iron them." But when she reached for the ironing board it was no longer there. You see Sarah Boone, a black woman, invented the ironing board and Jan E. Matzelinger, a black man, invented the shoe lasting machine.

"Oh well", she said, "please go and do something to your hair." Theo ran to his room to comb his hair, but the comb was not there. You see, Walter Sammons, a black man, invented the comb. Theo decided to just brush his hair, but the brush was gone. You see, Lydia O. Newman, a black woman, invented the brush. Well, this was a sight, no shoes, wrinkled clothes, hair a mess . . . even mom's hair. Without the hair care inventions of Madam C.J. Walker, well ... you get the picture.

Mom told Theo, "Let's do our chores around the house and then take a trip to the grocery store."

Theo's job was to sweep the floor. He swept and swept and swept. When he reached for the dust pan, it was not there. You see, Lloyd P. Ray, a black man, invented the dust pan. So he swept his pile of dirt over in the corner and left it there. He then decided to mop the floor, but the mop was gone. You see, Thomas W. Stewart, a black man, invented the mop.

Theo yelled to his mom, "Mom, I'm not having any luck."

"Well, son", she said, "let me finish washing these clothes and we will prepare a list for the grocery store."

When the wash finished, she went to place the clothes in the dryer, but it was not there. You see, George T. Samon, a black man, invented the clothes dryer.

Mom asked Theo to go get a pencil and some paper to prepare their list for the market. Theo ran for the paper and pencil but noticed the pencil's lead was broken. Well, he was out of luck, because John Love, a black man, invented the pencil sharpener. Mom reached for a pen, but it was not there because William Purvis, a black man, invented the fountain pen. As a matter of fact, Lee Burridge invented the type writing machine, and W. A. Lovette the advanced printing press.

Theo and his mother decided to head out to the market. Well, when Theo opened the door he noticed the grass was as high as he was tall. You see, the lawn mower was invented by John Burr, a black man.

They made their way over to the car, and found that it just wouldn't go. You see, Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gearshift and Joseph Gammel invented the supercharge system for internal combustion engines. They noticed that the few cars that were moving were running into each other and having wrecks because there were no traffic signals. You see, Garrett A. Morgan, a black man invented the traffic light.

Well, it was getting late, so they walked to the market, got their groceries and returned home. Just when they were about to put away the milk, eggs and butter, they noticed the refrigerator was gone. You see John Standard, a black man, invented the refrigerator. So they just left the food on the counter.

By this time, Theo noticed he was getting mighty cold. Mom went to turn up the heat, and what do you know? Alice Parker, a black woman, invented the heating furnace. Even in the summer time they would have been out of luck because Frederick Jones, a black man, invented the air conditioner.

It was almost time for Theo's father to arrive home. He usually takes the bus. But there was no bus, because it's precursor was the electric trolley, invented by another black man, Elbert R. Robinson. Theo's father usually takes the elevator from his office on the 20th floor, but there was no elevator because Alexander Miles, a black man, invented the elevator.

Theo's father also usually dropped off the office mail at a near by mailbox, but it was no longer there because Philip Downing, a black man, invented the letter drop mailbox and William Barry invented the postmarking and canceling machine.

If Theo were ever sick he could not get blood. Charles Drew, a black scientist, found a way to preserve and store blood, which led to his starting the world's first blood bank. What if a family member had to have heart surgery? This would not be possible without Dr. Daniel Hale Williams, a black doctor, who performed the first open heart surgery.

Theo quickly learned what it would be like if there were no black people in the world. Theo and his mother sat at the kitchen table with their heads in their hands.

When the father arrived he asked, "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

Why? Because Lewis Howard Latimer, a black man, invented the filament within the light bulb.

So, if you ever wonder, like Theo, where would we be without black people,

Well . . . it's pretty plain to see.

We would all still be in the DARK!

mansplain in the membrane (Eight Model Play), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:04 (twelve years ago)

I appreciated this because it led to me learning a lot of stuff i didn't know about black inventors via google. But 'He woke up one morning and asked his mother, "Mom, what if there were no black people in the world?' is an odd sentence, and 'it would be terrible because we wouldn't have pencil sharpeners or shoe lasting machines' seems like an odd answer.

mansplain in the membrane (Eight Model Play), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:09 (twelve years ago)

the idea that people only add value to the world by inventing new things is pretty weird

congratulations (n/a), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:11 (twelve years ago)

You see.

Here's the storify, of a lovely ladify (Phil D.), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:13 (twelve years ago)

Its like the internet age Wha's Like Us teatowel.

calumerio, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:22 (twelve years ago)

That was one long Facebook post.

pplains, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 21:53 (twelve years ago)

Facebook was invented by a black man, Mark Zuckerberg.

'Understand, your daughter's addiction is not your problem' (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 22:01 (twelve years ago)

electricity also invented by a black dude
http://www.barnorama.com/wp-content/images/2012/01/b1543/12.jpg

Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 13 August 2013 22:04 (twelve years ago)

YOU SEE

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Tuesday, 13 August 2013 22:18 (twelve years ago)

no fucking way did one nameable person "invent" the comb

failed skirty tropes (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 00:29 (twelve years ago)

seriously dude? one of the small handful of things that justifies the existence of a whole race of people and you want to take it away??

Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 00:32 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPym09LQfnc

los blue jeans, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 00:46 (twelve years ago)

feel like that post is basically the plot of "A Day Without a Mexican", but slightly more offensive

Neanderthal, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 01:09 (twelve years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4sEz_aoR5k

"Dave Barlow" is the name Lou uses on sabermetrics baseball sites (s.clover), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 01:44 (twelve years ago)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc3/q71/988300_606551326052396_910350617_n.jpg

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 04:12 (twelve years ago)

BLITZED
BRITS

BIG HOOS aka the denigrated boogeyman (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 05:04 (twelve years ago)

those are "Horrible Histories" books for kids, they are top

http://valawyersweekly.com/files/2009/12/important-ops-logo.jpg (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 08:15 (twelve years ago)

http://img367.imageshack.us/img367/7228/zincdreamdp4.jpg
COME BACK ZINC!!!

It is like ganging up on Enya (Trayce), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 08:38 (twelve years ago)

I've found the motherlode (of not even entertainingly bad image macros)

https://www.facebook.com/humorshots

click here to start exploding (ledge), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 13:45 (twelve years ago)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q71/1004926_611567338875589_1751234333_n.jpg

"Dave Barlow" is the name Lou uses on sabermetrics baseball sites (s.clover), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 15:18 (twelve years ago)

wondered why that pizza took so long to turn up

http://valawyersweekly.com/files/2009/12/important-ops-logo.jpg (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 15:20 (twelve years ago)

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/133113/airplane-slap-o.gif

Here's the storify, of a lovely ladify (Phil D.), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 15:21 (twelve years ago)

http://allcomedypics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/one-beer-a-day.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:15 (twelve years ago)

http://i.qkme.me/3qmpal.jpg

pplains, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:15 (twelve years ago)

has any doctor ever said "one beer a day is ok"

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:18 (twelve years ago)

gbx probably.

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:24 (twelve years ago)

no, he surely would say two or three are fine

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:26 (twelve years ago)

"a SINGLE BEER or you WILL DIE!!!"

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:27 (twelve years ago)

if I remember correctly Dr. La Lechera's personal advice is two beers

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:27 (twelve years ago)

I am still making up for the backlog of daily beers I missed out on from childhood.

Aimless, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 17:29 (twelve years ago)

In any case the doctor wd be meaning a normal size beer or mug of coffee not these giant ones which no health professional cd endorse

'Understand, your daughter's addiction is not your problem' (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 18:32 (twelve years ago)

My teetotaling dad actually did start drinking wine on the advice of his cardiologist, not sure about beer.

joygoat, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 19:06 (twelve years ago)

ok this is obv satire but http://justdudethings.tumblr.com/

"Dave Barlow" is the name Lou uses on sabermetrics baseball sites (s.clover), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 20:27 (twelve years ago)

Last time I talked to a doctor about drinking she said I should have about 3-4 drinks a week, but was more concerned about binging on the weekends then drinking a couple beers every day.

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:00 (twelve years ago)

how many counts as a binge?

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:00 (twelve years ago)

I think she said something like "you know.... reeeaallly drunk"

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:04 (twelve years ago)

I don't think there's a medically determined amount of drinks that once reached equala binge.

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:04 (twelve years ago)

As many as it takes. xp

Aimless, Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:04 (twelve years ago)

thanks guys

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:28 (twelve years ago)

There is currently no world wide consensus on how many drinks constitute a "binge", but in the United States, the term is often taken to mean consuming five or more standard drinks (male), or four or more drinks (female), on one occasion. One definition states that 5 drinks for men and 4 drinks for women must be consumed on one occasion at least once in a two-week period for it to be classed as binge drinking. This is colloquially known as the "5/4 definition", and depending on the source, the timeframe can vary. In the United Kingdom, binge drinking is defined as drinking more than twice the daily limit, that is, drinking eight units or more for men or six units or more for women (roughly equivalent to five or four American standard drinks, respectively).

so yeah, it's completely arbitrary

carlos danger zone (mh), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 21:29 (twelve years ago)

I'm drinking the standard five American units tonight!

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 23:36 (twelve years ago)

I need a novelty doctor to prescribe me a giant beer so I can tell fuck you to all those ppl

set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 23:48 (twelve years ago)

before the prohibition doctors prescribed beer to pregnant mothers as a wholesome nutritional supplement.

Kissin' Cloacas (Viceroy), Wednesday, 14 August 2013 23:51 (twelve years ago)


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