Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

Trayce is otm. Last year, I was set up with a girl who seemed like a perfect match. we hit it off almost immediately, chatting via FB and text, and we decided to meet a few days later. we had a great time, went to dinner, and then made plans to have a Breaking Bad marathon a few days later. went well, she invited me to spend the night, was really excited afterwards and wanted to know when she'd see me again, etc. Next date, her demeanor is completely diff: morose, distant, vacant. Date is awkward, and when I try to set up another one, she's noncommittal.

After a day or so of that, I sent her a message saying that I liked her a bit and wanted to keep seeing her, and how did she feel ,etc. Put a lot of thought and effort into it, and the reply? "Well, we're BFFs, so we don't date. Lol."

I see via FB she went to the beach with some other dude a few days after her demeanor change and suddenly, I had it figured out, and...it stung more than if she'd just said "I met someone else. I'm sorry."

Trayce, you are super OTM. The day I learned of the possibility of honestly and politely communicating non-interest was a watershed. It was literally one specific day and it went so well that since then I've honestly gotten a little excited when a thing doesn't work out b/c, hey! I'm completely proficient at this step! and it's only ever worked out very well.

People like to know what happened yaknow? Silence may be read as "not interested" to some, but its a crapshoot - it could be anything. Why have to read minds?

One of the last girls I went on a date with before taking a break from the site gave me a very polite but firm no /w explanation when I asked her out for a second date. Downside: I was so impressed by her honesty it just made me like her more. :-/

well, the girl i *finally* met and had a great time with--after a month of rescheduling--tells me she's getting back together with her ex. "but we've had bad timing all along, i guess."

she also confessed to having an anxiety attack over coming to pick me up from the train station, which is why i waited for an hour wondering where she was; she then admitted that most of her previous last-minute reschedules had been because she'd had similar attacks as i was on my way to meet her.

so.

possible bullet dodge

yeah, even before "we're giving it another go" i'd been having "do i really want *another* highly anxious SO" thoughts.

still, disappointing in its way.

Ehhh I've not called someone back before or just dropped communication, and it's not even that I am adamantly against said person, I guess I just wasn't overly impressed or attracted to them. So I just kinda let it die. It's been done to me, and I don't mind it. It's kind of the way shit goes these days.

some gentle academic talk back and forward and then BAM with the link to a scissoring video, I admit I'm a little surprised but the decisiveness impresses me.

Sounds dreamy.

Downside: I was so impressed by her honesty it just made me like her more. :-/

Haha yes, I had a similar response to a guy I dated recently who did the same thing (sweetly, quickly and clearly). Now we're in a band together and I still have a massive crush on him and he gives SUCH good hugs... but Ive had to keep it out of my mind.

oh man

that's rough

Ah its ok. Hes adorable, but I've been able to keep in my metaphrical pants. Plus he has 2 kids so it might not have been that workable anyways.

Tell you what tho, im completely head over heels in love with his music/singing voice which REALLY DOES NOT HELP when in a band with him hah ha haa urrrgh.

Yikes, that sounds torturous, Trayce. Then again, I get a crush on basically every female musician I meet, so that kind of thing would be inevitable for me if I were in a band with girls again.

I like the idea that Trayce only has metaphorical pants. No real pants here, no sirree.

Is that good or bad, I do not know

i hate this website.

http://bit.ly/14SZkeQ

y u hate

Those of you that are looking for a serious relationship, you only are inexperienced women that will be single forever.. You don't plan your relationship, it happens randomly.. When you least expect it.. Be open and available for everyone..

Tell me more.

lol

Do not ask how to shot relationship, relationship will shot you

bitches just need to settle, that's all, COME ON

Be open and available for everyone..

Because now you're the late-nite Newark Ave McDonald's pass-thru window.

Don't be *too* open and available if you catch my meaning

Not sure if disgruntled venting or PUA strat.

you say tomato

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Unorthodox though it may be, my presence on this site is an anniversary gift for my uncommon boyfriend, who wants nothing more than for me to fuck someone else. Once.

I met my boyfriend on OKC and now I'm trying to snag a lover (ugh, what an untoward word) here too.

nope

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/15-reasons-to-date-a-lawyer/#.UhNtnxaxTCE

That eharmony blog has some highly valuable #datinghacks:

1. Listen with a third ear. This means listening for the emotional subtext of whatever your partner is saying. Pay attention not only to the words, but to the emotions that flow underneath them.

2. Reflect feeling. You not only need to listen for feelings, you need to identify them and hand them back to your partner by saying, “It sounds like you might be feeling ….” This small act will open up your partner’s spirit more than you might imagine.

3. Clarify content. Did you know that for the words we most often use in the English language there are more than 3.5 meaning per word? This means that there is lots of room for misunderstanding and false assumptions.

4. Trade places. This means putting yourself in your partner’s shoes. Imagine what it would be like to be in his or her skin. This kind of empathy is a rarity and people are instantly drawn to it.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/how-to-become-a-better-catch/

Particularly fond of number 3.

IMAGINE WEARING HER SKIN

p much what yr mum fears yr internet date might be thinking

ty for display name

should be 3.5 HOO per steen

hee hee hee

http://laurenhallden.com/datingipsum/

I'm really good at well-built beekeeping my beard. Be my partner in crime females chivalry is not dead my last partner told me I'm too honest, is pretty awesome polyamory Juggalo someone to provide for you trapped in a sexless marriage. When I get drunk my wife skydiving on my fetish list I'm a nice guy you need a real man.

otm

can not stop loling

I love the smell of years ago I discovered, most cats eventually love me I'm really good at I'm really good at on my fetish list is pretty awesome. When I picked this username I didn't realize I couldn't change it keep up with me my hobbies include I'm a nice guy most cats eventually love me I starred in my own reality show.

me irl

:)

None of my fetishes involve cats fyi

Art school Murakami I don't take myself too seriously I'm a good listener. Ask me anything fascinates me whiskey Arrested Development home brewing, my beard I don't really like talking about myself thinking about trying yoga adventures jazz cafes. Too many to list fitness Werner Herzog Breaking Bad I know I listed more than 6 things whatever topic is on NPR.

LOL.

I'm going to be drowning in dates if I just use this to crank out a profile, right

drowning in waterfalls of dates

third ear dang

1. Listen with a third ear.

This is my favorite song by The Head Shop, no joke.

should i be creeped out that i just got a flood of 12 new visitors in the last 2 hours, all but 3 are from other states, and one is a straight male

i get the occasional straight male visitor and it strikes me as odd

a girl you were talking with probably gave your username to her internet friends to judge