why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

they should let you smoke weed in those auto-pilot google cars

if driving while stoned is bad then i'm the absolute worst

sorry everyone

When I'm high my legs don't work right and I'm constantly trying to figure out a solution for my cotton mouth. I don't feel like that's a recipe for safe driving.

brb, gonna run over a kid in a micky d's drive thru

thought I recognized you

last time I got high and drove everything was very safe and under control

and also 20 miles an hour below the speed limit

see, that's how the cops recognize you, you have to wear a white wig so they just think you're old

WA is also trying to figure out intoxication limits:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw1HavgoK9E

Got kind of IA at the girl who is the living embodiment of every stoner stereotype

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoWgqy45d84

Bah, she didn't have dreads and was dressed pretty normally.

I wish they said how far above the limit she was when super stoned

wkiw Addy

http://earthremedy.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Aspartame.jpg

i'm not going to argue that aspartame is 'good' for you or that it can't be harmful in large quantities, but every bit of research I've done for "aspartame poisoning" or "aspartame toxicity" leads back only to the fringiest of fringe blogs and "homeopathic" remedy sites, and don't seem to be sponsored by anybody who...is an actual expert.

actually saw a friend of a friend claim they were 'laid out' for an entire weekend due to drinking a low-cal Hawaiian Punch drink.

That one should be rejected on the font alone. (Also, "foggy thinking")

i thought that said "foggg thinking"

hmm, common symptoms include "disease mimicing symptoms"

ASS

PART

A

ME

Whoa you are blowing my mind.

rain disease mimicing
blurrg vision
insomina
over 100 MORE.

sucks to your asp art

https://sphotos-a-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc1/s526x395/999716_432528283528322_590125093_n.jpg

This is called money bags.

i assume money bays is an approximate translation of the original chinese feng shui term

balls, you better kick the ass of whoever keeps posting that picture of the The Biggest Yankee of All Time to your facebox.

ha, that one's definitely appeared here before. Yeah, October doesn't have five Mondays this year, so they totally missed out on chinese feng shui money bags.
Aside from everything else, the idea that it would take 823 years between each time that happens is obviously false. Unless they're using some ancient Chinese calendar where 2012 is 823 years after 2007.

Hrm, well, I suppose they're not necessarily saying it ONLY happens every 823 years. But never mind that, cuz it WASN'T true in 1189! I highly suspect this thing isn't accurate!

(but it Can't hurt so I did it :))

Can't hurt

There are only 14 possible calendars any given year can fit to. Seven of those are for leap-years.

So if you've got some wacky October where there are five Mondays, five Tuesdays and five Wednesdays (in other words, halloween is on a Wednesday), then guess what. That combo has happened in 2007, 2001, 1990, 1979, 1973, 1962 and will happen again in 2018. Fill your hands with money bags!

Oh, I see. It happened last year too, but it was a leap year. Just like it did in 1984.

so a Facebook macro has LIED to us?

it reminds me of these weird numerology/evangelical tracts i would find occasionally. which reminds me i had some baptist actually hand me a chick tract a couple of weeks ago, it was as if bigfoot had walked up and tapped me on the shoulder.

I found some sort of Jack Chick imitation pamphlet today ... in my doctor's waiting room!

It was weird, the first page had text that looked like it hand been hand-lettered. The second page's copy was just some standard computer font. I couldn't tell if the artist got lazy or if the Page 2 message was specifically typed for my behalf.

the only Chick tract I ever saw in the wild was left in a convenience store restroom in a Kansas City suburb

"leaving a Chick tract" = haven't heard it described that way before, but I'm going to use that one from now on

could become the new "Santorum" w/ a lil elbow grease

you can't rob me of the magic of finding this hilarious evangelical pamphlet with your shit jokes

found a chick tract in the gutter a few months ago. i picked it up but no idea what happened to it; lost in the car likely

you ever say something something Santorum with elbow grease something again, i'm flag banning you.

Someone leaves chick tract "A Love Story" underneath all the windshield wipers at my park and ride every Valentine's.

when i was like 19 an older woman picked only me out of an entire crowded train car to give a chick tract to. she held a bunch of them out in a fan so i just picked one randomly; she got off the train and then ran back on to give me one that i guess she had picked out specifically for me. wish i could remember which one it was cuz that would make a good punchline for this boring story

Lately I've been thinking that "cuccinelli" should become a euphemism for something.

Getting chick tracts for Halloween was the worst and happened quite often when I was a kid

lol, this is a recent one apparently

http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/1925/1925_01.gif

wite ppl

Is the real hater Satan?

https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/q72/s720x720/994894_10152148725118298_1559328527_n.jpg

http://positiveatmosphere.com/

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brb getting YESTERDAY IS DEAD tattooed on my neck in Gothic font.

YESTERDAY IS DEAD
TOMORROW MIGHT BE ABORTED

it's just a bastardized Kris Kristofferson lyric

^ getting that tattooed in script under the first tattoo.