why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

mugger: i am a mugger and i have a gun. forfeit ur property 2 me.
gun dude: guess what, i too have a gun.
mugger: this must be a stalema--
*gun dude shoots mugger until empty*
gun dude: haw haw haw haw haw

plane hijacker: EVERYBODY FREEZE - THIS IS A HIJACK!
gun dude: I dun think so, bud. (pulls out assault rifle)
hijacker: woah cool, how'd you get that on the plane?
gun dude: lots of freedom fighter sympathizers in the TSA. read yr blogs.
hijacker: well that's too bad, cuz this plane is going where I s-
*gun dude fires multiple rounds, hitting key equipment, windows, and fuxxoring cabin pressure*
passenger #1: YOU ASSHOLE! NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE
gun dude: Yes...but on OUR terms.

*crash*

http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/filepicker%2FEQi0jRD0TLa3zsQpuwaL_supersoaker.jpg

You need these for when the kid next door is being an asshole

when the government's at your door, demanding your supersoakers, it's time you turned the tables

telescopic rifle looks a bit cumbersome for robbing the local tesco express imo

that's what separates them from the muggers IMO

a gun that spits out meals is pretty groovy

sadly it's mostly just Healthy Choice dinners

when the government's at your door, demanding your supersoakers, it's time you turned the tables

When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun

Carjackers! That's a self-defense bogeyman I haven't heard in a while.

I got carjacked a year or two ago. It was a bit perplexing, mostly because it was while I was riding the Grand Prix at Disney World, but w/e....

That gun thing is from a friend's mom who is seriously batty and has no real interest in politics beyond image macros. And he's not picky - she'll post images reflecting any and every part of the political spectrum.

o_O

Finally found one of those undecided voters I kept hearing about during the elevtion, huh.

Do gun guys still carry around old-timey shiny revolvers with wooden handles in case of car-jackers? Thought those went out with, like, Bernie Goetz. Seems like there's a cultural arena here waiting for hipsterization.

I thought when someone carjacked you, you just action-slammed the door into them and sped off into oncoming traffic? have all my years of 80s-action movie training lied to me?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2evfz-frHc

guy i am friends with posts stuff like this all the time and it makes me so frustrated
http://i.qkme.me/3og1bi.jpg

I hate Condescending Wonka almost as much as I hate Keep Calm And, e-Cards, and that stupid "THEY SAY 'DRESS FOR THE JOB YOU WANT, NOT FOR THE JOB YOU HAVE, SO I'M IN HR NOW WEARING A CATWOMAN OUTFIT BEING ASKED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF" bullshit.

lol chemtrails

that wonka definitely looks like a quickmeme, so they got that part right.

I saw a someecards tote bag at a party last night, but I didn't get close enough to read it.

uggghh

totes annoying

hey yr tote is totes stupid fyi

when did "use your words" become the 'oh so hilarious' phrase du jour?

gah

h8 condescending wonka

xp
ppl w kids
theyre everywhere

use your indoor voices

http://24.media.tumblr.com/06394e8ead59c4f4780904aeb7a6f362/tumblr_mqistiwmvl1s5tlmxo1_500.png

this is giving me harrowing flashbacks to the barrage of "Silent Lunches" we were forced to endure whenever one of the asshole cool kids screamed out a swear word or if we were just bein too loud

At least they weren't Naked Lunches

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1000876_567002966687605_818096768_n.jpg

oh shit. is obama forcing him to fly a USSR flag?

The community's codes state that each home in the retirement community can only have one flag, but Lowe contends that the Marine Corps battle color is not a flag.

"I don't consider it a flag," Lowe told the station. "Most people don't. You talk to any Marine. Those are the colors."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/07/31/georgia-marine-vet-fights-battle-to-fly-american-marine-corps-flags/#ixzz2bC82Qb4o

Maybe he shouldn't live in a shitty gated community with restrictive flag regulations then. XP

That misspelling of Captain totally made me read Marine as Martian.

Martian Caption

old people

Well at least people are focusing their energies on this rather than doing something useful.

"_____________ shared Cheech & Chong's photo."

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/561846_10152098086221959_155921378_n.jpg

the idea that marijuana doesn't impair driving ability seems like one of the most pernicious lies ever

it's possible it's not as bad as alcohol in that regard, but still, i wouldn't do it

pernicious!

Anecdotal evidence but I was pretty much constantly high during my two years as a pizza deliverer ages ago and never had any problems. Never have and never would drive drunk though.

Cause that would be stupid and irresponsible, you know

no, joygoat. it is one of the most pernicious lies ever

when i have been high, it didn't seem like a good idea to be driving. i have a hard enough time not getting distracted in the first place.

I'm drunk, high, and posting to ilx while driving right now

wasn't going to post to ilx, but then I got high.

bet you all think you're pretty cool right about now.

i don't know much about the effects of marijuana on driving ability beyond what i have gleaned from firsthand experiences.