itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

i was enjoying that until i got to the end and told me all my choices were WRONG

You're not so much wrong as rogue.

i got one right. i don't think i understand what the point is.

A+

the point is, proximity to other dicks makes u gay (????)

D-

I clearly know nothing about masculinity

for the best, masculinity is bullshit

A.

Although I found it p hard to even imagine peeing where strangers can see you, women as a rule just never do this.

correct answer to each is "whichever urinal has the least urine on the floor in front of it"

or "this is literally the thing that matters least in all of existence."

"this decision-making process confirms that we are all basically cattle"

the point is, proximity to other dicks makes u gay (????)

I don't think that's the point; I mean, if someone decided to pee right next to me in a line of empty urinals it would make me uncomfortable because I don't like strangers watching me pee if I'm not consenting to it; it feels like a violation of sorts.

has that happened to you?

i guess the CONCEPT of "personal space" is pretty understandable / universal but i mean that's just basic courtesy and had nothing to do with HAHA RULES OF PEEING FOR MENS

I don't think space gets any more personal than when peeing

haha yea i got an A+. tbh i get stage fright sometimes and need some personal space when peeing. i'm also the type of person that sometimes needs to hear some water flowing (someone else peeing, a faucet, or a toilet flushing) to get started.

agreed that it's totally more of a personal space thing than "proximity to other dicks makes you gay"

i strongly feel that "one person per stall" trumps this piss etiquette

i have serious pee fright

If I am at a public urinal and someone comes in and starts talking to me, I have to use every ounce of willpower I have to not murder them

I respect pee fright, I have a friend who pretty much needs his own stall in a quiet restroom or things aren't going to happen

meanwhile my coworkers are into complete conversations

so many times I have wanted to flense a pushy coworker who couldn't wait three fucking minutes to talk about a customer issue or build problem

i prefer peeing outdoors aka like a REAL MAN

jk i don't think it makes my manliness more real

but given a reasonable assurance of privacy i would almost always pee outside

so many times I have wanted to flense a pushy coworker who couldn't wait three fucking minutes to talk about a customer issue or build problem

― THE WORINÐLVE (DJP), Monday, August 5, 2013 9:57 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh man talking to you abt WORK ffs

talking abt the awesome golf they played over the weekend or how wasted they were or basically anything awesome that happened over the weekend is understandable if not advisable

but work thats some personality disorder level behavior

I KNOW, RIGHT

for some reason, pissing outdoors in a group is no problem. if you put me in a room with 20 guys and a 1/4 inch thick stall divider up, i'm fine even if people wanna talk. put me at a urinal and nope. like even if i'm in a room by myself. maybe it's a grade school thing?

question: how manly is pissing your pants

Only works if you are Ozzy Osbourne

i am ozzy osbourne

pissing in yr pants is hella manly

for sure, it breaks up the crusty scrote sweat on yr jeans

manliest action is standing next to someone and pissing with such masculine force that they get significant splashback coming their way.

otm but u have to be looking them in the eye the whole time for full effect. I find.

http://achewood.com/comic.php%3Fdate%3D10312006

http://i.imgur.com/alE7Or8.gif

hahaha

tbh i'm not nearly as annoyed/weirded out by some dude peeing in the urinal next to me when there are plenty of other urinals as i am by weirdos that sit right next to me in a practically empty movie theater

I assume because unless you are at a specific type of movie or have a mutant bladder, you're going to spending a lot less time next to dude at the urinal than you will in the theater?

manliest action is standing next to someone and pissing with such masculine force that they get significant splashback coming their way.

― Merdeyeux, Monday, 5 August 2013 14:32 (2 hours ago) Permalink

I like to just unzip, put both hands on my hips and let it do its own thing like "he's a big boy, he can take care of business himself." But you can also do kind of an exaggerated underhand grip like "Dang, this thing is heavy!" Hard to say which approach wins.

I was in the men's room at a 4 a.m. Appalachian/quasi-redneck karaoke bar in Chicago, peeing in the urinal when a not-redneck 20-something regular dude came in to pee in the toilet in the same bathroom. He was drunk, amiable, and energetic, and he challenged me to a race. He hurriedly pulled out his dong, said "Okay, go! Betcha 5 bucks I finish first!" He unselfconsciously monitored my progress, and I did the same. It was not a come-on, or like a closet-case making an excuse to check out a dick, just good-natured rollicking silliness with penises. I don't remember who won, but he laughed and said something along the lines of, "All right man! Good job!" and we fist-bumped.

what neighborhood was this in, I have my suspicions

carol's pub?

haaaa

imagine me entering a crowded restroom in a movie theatre or an airport and hollering as i pull out my junk OKAY, WHICH ONE OF YOU GUYS WANTS TO HAVE A TINKLE RACE

i'd do it

i mean drunk dude piss racing with no real stakes, just the thrill of the chase, this is the high life

streaming video

when i see a couple of dudes
and i guess they're piss racing and he's
just doing it for the thrill of the race,
i know this is paradise