ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

And she was in "The Haunting," so

i haven't watched hemlock grove -- my lili taylor memories are mostly of her playing cool/weird people, not chirpy/possessed mothers of 5 married to office space guy.

http://www.releasedonkey.com/big/TVY1Qk1Ua3dNamt3TkRZME5WNUJNbDVCYW5CblhrRnRaVGN3T1RjNE5qWXpOUQ/picture-of-liam-neeson-lili-taylor-catherine-zeta-jones-and-owen-wilson-in-castelul-b-x26-xe2-ntuit-large-picture-number-12.jpg

anyway you all know this movie sucks, stop pretending

is that scooby doo?

Pretty sure the past several posts including mine have been degrees of "The Conjuring sucks."

oh i thought you were trying to tell me i was wrong to expect lili taylor to be good
whatever! this movie suuuuuucks.

Photo is from "The Haunting" remake, which was awful EXCEPT for the casting of Taylor.

omg she plays the nervous woman? does she fall in love with CZJ?
now i remember that. super weird casting!

Owen Wilson played "Luke" in the film

ugh the haunting remake

the haunting remake of what

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocy8TseK88I

Hey wait you guys didn't tell me The Conjuring was based on the warrens!

and it still sucked!

watching a report on the local news right now about how droves of ppl are visiting the original farmhouse where the conjuring occurred and it's irritating the shit out of the owners and their neighbors

Thanks to Steve Bissette's Facebook feed I just learned the first Ed and Lorraine Warren-based movie was the TV movie The Demon Murder Case (1983), which is in YouTube in its entirety and features a wee Kevin Bacon.

There's a throwaway line (among many) in "The Conjuring" where they talk about another possible haunting ... in Long Island.

http://www.impawards.com/1979/posters/amityville_horror_xlg.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpPdgrr5diM

I hope the Conjuring sequel is about the Smurls.

I have read good reviews of the Conjuring so I'm surprised to see it get no love here.

I just went to see it today and liked it pretty well. More than Insidious, definitely.

I did some seriously embarrassing yelling and clutching of poor Je55e's arm.

Watched The Collection (sequel to the collector) on Netflix streaming last night, and lets be clear, it's a hot mess of stupid post saw dumbness, but watchable, at least if you go in brainfree or at least super drunk. Def the worst movie to feature one dude from oz and another from the wire that I have ever seen.

i have 'House at the end of the street' (HATEOTS) to watch tonight...is it any good?

I can't remember? That's probably neither a good nor a terrible sign.

I could swear I talked abt it on this thread? But I am on iPhone so can not search worth a shit

welp i'm bored so it's getting a spin

Good luck, it will either be terrible, awesome, or unmemorable

I'm starting to feel like I liked it actually? I had a crap ton of fancy infused coctails and charcuterie tonight topped with key lime pie, so I am an unreliable narrator

enough of your humblebragging, mr fancydrunk

Oh no, that's just regular bragging

HATEOTS is not bad! not v horror-y but good story

j-law is ridic gorgeous, also main boy v crushworthy

if you go in brainfree or at least super drunk

Yeah, that's a pretty low hurdle for anything, tbh.

Man, I was really let down by The Conjuring. I liked Sinister, Insidious, and others in this vein, but, I dunno, a couple good scares does not a good movie make. I saw it just a few days ago and I seriously cannot remember what happened at the end. It could be that I've just had my fill with exorcism movies. Most of them are really lazy; it doesn't require much narrative logic ("She's possessed!") and then usually just ends with some Catholicism and whatnot.

I wish this movie had been all about that demon doll. More demon doll movies!

sinister, insidious, and mama (which i just watched) are all alike in having great, creepy first hours while the bad things are happening in the background, and then going to shit once they have to actually show the bad things and they're just pathetic cgi monsters

scooby doo syndrome

watched jack ketchum's the girl next door and would now like to wipe my brain of it please. don't think it's particularly well made but the tv movie stylings make it even more disturbing if anything and if the idea is to show you just how depraved and nasty people can be and how horrifyingly easy it could be for a corrupting adult to coerce kids into such behaviour then it does its job i suppose.

xp That's why I would rate The Conjuring above Insidious, et al. It didn't get real dumb at the end. Well, obviously that's a matter of preference, but by the time the other movies had explained themselves I was like oh yeah okay ho hum but I stayed pretty tense and engaged up through the end of The Conjuring. Also: creepy basement.

Fun fact: The real demon doll on which the demon doll in the Conjuring was based was a Raggedy Ann doll. Not quite as frightening. http://www.warrens.net/Annabelle.html

xp The Girl Next Door has been in our queue forever and I don't know why because I will never ever watch it.

Thnig and I had a convo after the movie about the laziness of the scary basement in The Conjuring -- this family of 5 moves into a huge old dump, digs through a wall and finds...their surprise basement, where the furnace is! I am fully 100% aware of the suspension of disbelief required to find movies like this entertaining, but that was a poorly thought out detail that could have easily been fixed by someone knowing that there was a basement. People do not buy a house to live in with their 5 kids and not know where the furnace is (even in the 70s!).

Add the lazy Catholic stuff/witch demon (and a bunch of other stuff I thought was just kinda weak) and I just couldn't find it in my heart to like this movie. I even found it pretty scary but that's because I have glass nerves that are shattered by loud sounds, not because it was actually scaring me. I didn't have any trouble going into the basement even that same evening!

family of 7! sorry!

Your basement is decidedly not evil, though. It's not even a little creepy!

It is when I'm down there hehehe

Are you a Salem Witch?

Perhaps I'm being hard on The Conjuring because it felt like the straw that broke the back. Horror movies have grown quite adept at pulling off shock scares in the last four or five years (Mama, et al) and that has been fun but now it's starting to feel like a formula (have scenery A + silence B + camera movement C) and the weaknesses are really starting to show through. The glow is gone. We need a fresh model.

I found it scary beyond the shock scares, actually. There was a creepiness to it that really got to me, plus as Jesse and I were discussing, some of the really scary parts were longer than just a second of being startled. Like

SPOILER ALERT
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The kid looking under her bed and then insisting that she could see the thing behind the door standing right behind her sister, Jesus H. the "hide and clap" game with Lilli Taylor and the hands coming out of the wardrobe, the whole long scene starting with the pictures falling off the walls and ending with the Wicked Witch of Rhode Island jumping off the top of the wardrobe onto the eldest daughter.
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END SPOILER

What people find scary is completely subjective, and those parts contained some elements that are almost guaranteed to freak me out. But as arguably dorky as the Salem witch premise was, the fact remains that I got up to pee in the middle of the night last night, three days after seeing this movie, and while I was sitting there sleepily looking out the bathroom door, I suddenly got it in my head that said witch would be crawling past the door any second and damned if that didn't wake me up fast.

Kid looking under bed=Poltergeist, which was 100x scarier.
Clap game with ghost=The Orphanage, which was 10x better
Wicked Witch popping out=Drag Me to Hell, which was better.

And so on.

I got lots of Friday the 13th the series vibes from bits of this, from the investigators to the room full of cursed objects that LOL DOES NOT LOCK?!?! The doll in the glass was like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQnJSujjPzk

Which movie that was 100x scarier did the bit with the laundry line sheet flying into a silhouette?

My sense of exhaustion with movies like The Conjuring might be personal to me. It reminds me of The Great Re-boot Forsaking of 2010, when the Nightmare on Elm Street remake got me to swear off all such movies forever.

...OR DID IT?!?

I do like that there is a now a sub-category of "yeah the house is haunted now what movies?" Used to be lots of "is it all in her head?" Or "there must be an explanation here." But now it's all "what do we do about the demon living in your basement?"

My fave along these lines may be the guy in "Paranormal Activity." "Hmm, let's see what's going on here, usually there's a good explanation for ... oh my God, I am detecting a terrible presence here, I'm leaving, good luck!"