ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

1) saw the conjuring last night and there is not enough time in the world for me to list the plot holes and gripes i have with this movie
2) still, i screamed 2x
3) how does a movie this weak (a "witch" from the salem witch trials"? really?) get vera farmiga and lili taylor?!

Farmiga's done a ton of schlock. Taylor probably needed the work

I keep asking the same thing every time I see Julianne Moore et al. in the "Carrie" trailer (which is basically just the entire movie in two minutes; there aren't enough plot twists they can throw in to justify showing the pig's blood dump in the promo).

anyone here seen francis ford coppola's twixt? looks like some kind of ghost story (?), gots elle fanning and val kilmer.

lili taylor was in hemlock grove so

And she was in "The Haunting," so

i haven't watched hemlock grove -- my lili taylor memories are mostly of her playing cool/weird people, not chirpy/possessed mothers of 5 married to office space guy.

http://www.releasedonkey.com/big/TVY1Qk1Ua3dNamt3TkRZME5WNUJNbDVCYW5CblhrRnRaVGN3T1RjNE5qWXpOUQ/picture-of-liam-neeson-lili-taylor-catherine-zeta-jones-and-owen-wilson-in-castelul-b-x26-xe2-ntuit-large-picture-number-12.jpg

anyway you all know this movie sucks, stop pretending

is that scooby doo?

Pretty sure the past several posts including mine have been degrees of "The Conjuring sucks."

oh i thought you were trying to tell me i was wrong to expect lili taylor to be good
whatever! this movie suuuuuucks.

Photo is from "The Haunting" remake, which was awful EXCEPT for the casting of Taylor.

omg she plays the nervous woman? does she fall in love with CZJ?
now i remember that. super weird casting!

Owen Wilson played "Luke" in the film

ugh the haunting remake

the haunting remake of what

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ocy8TseK88I

Hey wait you guys didn't tell me The Conjuring was based on the warrens!

and it still sucked!

watching a report on the local news right now about how droves of ppl are visiting the original farmhouse where the conjuring occurred and it's irritating the shit out of the owners and their neighbors

Thanks to Steve Bissette's Facebook feed I just learned the first Ed and Lorraine Warren-based movie was the TV movie The Demon Murder Case (1983), which is in YouTube in its entirety and features a wee Kevin Bacon.

There's a throwaway line (among many) in "The Conjuring" where they talk about another possible haunting ... in Long Island.

http://www.impawards.com/1979/posters/amityville_horror_xlg.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpPdgrr5diM

I hope the Conjuring sequel is about the Smurls.

I have read good reviews of the Conjuring so I'm surprised to see it get no love here.

I just went to see it today and liked it pretty well. More than Insidious, definitely.

I did some seriously embarrassing yelling and clutching of poor Je55e's arm.

Watched The Collection (sequel to the collector) on Netflix streaming last night, and lets be clear, it's a hot mess of stupid post saw dumbness, but watchable, at least if you go in brainfree or at least super drunk. Def the worst movie to feature one dude from oz and another from the wire that I have ever seen.

i have 'House at the end of the street' (HATEOTS) to watch tonight...is it any good?

I can't remember? That's probably neither a good nor a terrible sign.

I could swear I talked abt it on this thread? But I am on iPhone so can not search worth a shit

welp i'm bored so it's getting a spin

Good luck, it will either be terrible, awesome, or unmemorable

I'm starting to feel like I liked it actually? I had a crap ton of fancy infused coctails and charcuterie tonight topped with key lime pie, so I am an unreliable narrator

enough of your humblebragging, mr fancydrunk

Oh no, that's just regular bragging

HATEOTS is not bad! not v horror-y but good story

j-law is ridic gorgeous, also main boy v crushworthy

if you go in brainfree or at least super drunk

Yeah, that's a pretty low hurdle for anything, tbh.

Man, I was really let down by The Conjuring. I liked Sinister, Insidious, and others in this vein, but, I dunno, a couple good scares does not a good movie make. I saw it just a few days ago and I seriously cannot remember what happened at the end. It could be that I've just had my fill with exorcism movies. Most of them are really lazy; it doesn't require much narrative logic ("She's possessed!") and then usually just ends with some Catholicism and whatnot.

I wish this movie had been all about that demon doll. More demon doll movies!

sinister, insidious, and mama (which i just watched) are all alike in having great, creepy first hours while the bad things are happening in the background, and then going to shit once they have to actually show the bad things and they're just pathetic cgi monsters

scooby doo syndrome

watched jack ketchum's the girl next door and would now like to wipe my brain of it please. don't think it's particularly well made but the tv movie stylings make it even more disturbing if anything and if the idea is to show you just how depraved and nasty people can be and how horrifyingly easy it could be for a corrupting adult to coerce kids into such behaviour then it does its job i suppose.

xp That's why I would rate The Conjuring above Insidious, et al. It didn't get real dumb at the end. Well, obviously that's a matter of preference, but by the time the other movies had explained themselves I was like oh yeah okay ho hum but I stayed pretty tense and engaged up through the end of The Conjuring. Also: creepy basement.

Fun fact: The real demon doll on which the demon doll in the Conjuring was based was a Raggedy Ann doll. Not quite as frightening. http://www.warrens.net/Annabelle.html

xp The Girl Next Door has been in our queue forever and I don't know why because I will never ever watch it.

Thnig and I had a convo after the movie about the laziness of the scary basement in The Conjuring -- this family of 5 moves into a huge old dump, digs through a wall and finds...their surprise basement, where the furnace is! I am fully 100% aware of the suspension of disbelief required to find movies like this entertaining, but that was a poorly thought out detail that could have easily been fixed by someone knowing that there was a basement. People do not buy a house to live in with their 5 kids and not know where the furnace is (even in the 70s!).

Add the lazy Catholic stuff/witch demon (and a bunch of other stuff I thought was just kinda weak) and I just couldn't find it in my heart to like this movie. I even found it pretty scary but that's because I have glass nerves that are shattered by loud sounds, not because it was actually scaring me. I didn't have any trouble going into the basement even that same evening!

family of 7! sorry!

Your basement is decidedly not evil, though. It's not even a little creepy!

It is when I'm down there hehehe

Are you a Salem Witch?

Perhaps I'm being hard on The Conjuring because it felt like the straw that broke the back. Horror movies have grown quite adept at pulling off shock scares in the last four or five years (Mama, et al) and that has been fun but now it's starting to feel like a formula (have scenery A + silence B + camera movement C) and the weaknesses are really starting to show through. The glow is gone. We need a fresh model.