Real England

Fizzles that long post is one of the most extraordinary things I've read on ILX

practically moved me to tears

Is it fucking tragic nobody else has commented on this? I'm a bit drunk but fuck it; Fizzles yer a bloody marvel

well it's a hard to act to follow and my initial thought of responding with a marriage proposal seemed a little hasty and might perhaps have been thought peculiar

<3

bravo fizzles

the DSA's Hazard Perception test videos are excellent realness simulators. a dream-like purposeful motion sweeps you from one anywhere/nowhere ringroad, bypass or mini-roundabout on to the next, breaking only for the odd black-trousered schoolgirl on a puffin crossing
http://www.driving-test-success.com/hazard-perception-test03/hazard-perception-test-03.htm
http://www.driving-test-success.com/hazard-perception-test07/hazard-perception-test-07.htm
http://www.driving-test-success.com/hazard-perception-test09/hazard-perception-test-09.htm

Lol I did those earlier this year

Real Scotland bonus edition, welcome to my hometown.

http://s21.postimg.org/qcoufmbpz/IMAG0164.jpg

more realism

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/P1000511_zps49640b63.jpg

As league champions, the players of Hoghton Cricket Club are well versed in teamwork and presenting a united front in the face of adversity.

And it was those traits – with a bit of “Ashes spirit” thrown in – that stood them in good stead when a group of travellers invaded their pitch and even tried to set up home on the square.

If the gypsies thought they were in for an easy ride dealing with a bunch of genteel cricketers, they were sorely mistaken.

Caught unawares by the first four caravans, the players and volunteers formed a human barricade at the ground’s entrance to stop more of the gypsies getting onto the pitch.

Now they are celebrating by not only holding back “dozens” of travellers, but managing to evict the group who had set up home within 24 hours of them arriving.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/10182627/Village-cricket-team-form-human-barricade-to-deter-travellers.html

I happened to visit the estate where I was born this weekend. The first photo is of the back of the chippy (recently closed down), right opposite my Primary school. The place that is now a pharmacy in pic two was where I went to play school about three times before my screaming fits convinced my mum that I hated it.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/0721354036345faa079a242cd12fce74/tumblr_mq8x0aam5J1sy67obo2_1280.jpg

http://24.media.tumblr.com/8f50e678db6b5c16ea283fa6001d2c24/tumblr_mq8x0aam5J1sy67obo1_1280.jpg

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2106/2241733381_5706f52050_b.jpg

I should've taken a photo of my old local chippy, which around ten years ago was knocked down, along with all the other shops and houses alongside it, with the massive pile of rubble and now weeds still remaining. But then I can only offer this thread so much Real Scotland before I get kicked out.

http://i.imgur.com/YRcwjtk.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/HNpgqlV.jpg

Now that one hits home

http://www.flickr.com/photos/90896760@N08/sets/72157634786255146/

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-g2-C1fZ9x40/Ufgs2d3ijUI/AAAAAAAAC6k/kwYdVdFpGO8/w894-h557-no/Brit.Front.jpg

i thought it was some kind of joke when i saw it last night

still not sure what the fuck its about

slow news day?

greenslade explains: http://www.theguardian.com/media/greenslade/2013/jul/31/sun-paywalls

obviously there's the possible leaking of some tapes in the offing too

typically crass branding exercise

ah right

dunno man, i'd go with extraordinarily crass meself

Xp weirdly its their way of launching their online paywall. cool that jt made it. cld say wayne bridge is more real but is be kidding myself. mb that "got a new name for a snake" song cld go in the time capsule as the definitive document

this is so full of awful gold:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/5042756/At-dawn-of-Sun-where-The-Sun-stands-on-issues-vital-to-us-readers-and-Britain.html

" The Tories are trying hard to dig us out of the economic mire.

But that didn’t stop us giving them a kicking when they tried to tax working people’s pasties."

The version in the Scottish Sun is the same but different - I don't know if they have their own editor but it looks like they were sent the English piece and asked to give it a lick of tartan paint.

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/sun_says/1460642/The-Scottish-Sun-Says.html

Interesting that the English version doesn't say "And we certainly hold no truck with the swivel-eyed fanaticism of Nigel Farage and his UKIP crew."

the question "who the fuck do they think they are kidding?" springs to mind

Scottish Sun also seemingly blithely unaware of the renewable energy industry/sector in Scotland and how it is (A) a big thing and (B) pretty broadly supported.

fracking is the new green

As for Ireland, the north gets the wraparound

Hmm...

Witness the sheer excitement created by Celtic’s heroics against the cream of Europe last season

Lol 15% possession in the Barca win and got spanked 5-0 by Juve after surviving the group stage.

so? It was still exciting

Accepted but not enough to gloss over the appalling state of Scottish football.

Get this fucking Scottish shit off this thread.

"Northern Britain" shurely

Get this fucking Scottish shit off this thread.

― Matt DC, Wednesday, 31 July 2013 12:07 Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ real English

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51czgLpJn2L._SL500_AA280_.jpg

We're Northern Uproar, we're dead real we are

need the full size to appreciate the photoshop work

http://static.flavors.me/dynamic_images/background/5ea0577840074063846e95ccfe004887

Funnily enough, you know, given the state of culture in the city depicted on that album sleeve, it wouldn't be so out of place if those banners on poles actually did just say 'Northern Uproar'

the famous "purple aki" (idk about this nickname) is in the news again:

Akinwale Arobieke, 52, approached well-built men in Manchester city centre, Trafford and Bolton and touched their arms or shoulders, prosecutors allege... He was jailed in 2003 for 15 charges of sexual harassment and on his release he was given a Sexual Offences Prevention Order (SOPO). It bans him from certain activities, including feeling a person's muscles or getting them to carry out 'squats' in public

“Mr Arobieke has had, and continues to have, an interest in bodybuilding.

“His interest extends beyond that which is legitimate and manifests itself in a way that we say is criminal.”

iirc he went to prison for manslaughter after someone ran away from him onto a trainline & was electrocuted

thats definitely crossing the line into transgressive bodybuilding

theres something very northern or provincial about him, he seems to have a criminal and folkloric reputation over a large metropolitan area

yet i just cant imagine there being a lol purple aki equivalent in north london, he would simply be demonized but without any of the meta stuff

and an east london equivalent would probably have been killed by now

he is a living bit of folklore; i first heard about him in a pub & the way the story was told I didn't really expect it to be real, felt v strange to see it confirmed. photoshopping him into pics has become a bit of a meme in certain corners of the Northern Internet (tm)

What is the Northern Internet

Collins died for it, doff yr caps

garu g

He proceeded to the promenade above the club and relieved himself on the bouncers who chased after him until he was cornered in a nearby pizza parlour, where he was heard shouting "Help! Help!" Securing him in an arm-lock, they hauled him back to the club and called police, the reports concluded.

http://i.imgur.com/dLysS3v.png

He proceeded to the promenade above the club and relieved himself on the bouncers who chased after him until he was cornered in a nearby pizza parlour, where he was heard shouting "Help! Help!" Securing him in an arm-lock, they hauled him back to the club and called police, the reports concluded.

far cry from all the talk about bowling in "good areas". bizarrely/hilariously out of his public character.