body positivity!!

my round the house clothes are all hilariously grotty

tbf i wd live in a dressing gown and shorts if i was allowed

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOnZ3YtA1Q0

basically Eazy is my inspiration

someday we're all going to look old because we will all be old. we're going to have to figure out how to still feel good about ourselves when physical beauty is off the table
might as well start now so i'm set with a full tank of self-esteem when i'm 60

You're so right that this is, like, echoing in my head.

xp I have tshirts I used to line-cook in when I was 16. They look like it.

it's sustainable energy at the most personal level

Good article on selfies xp. It can't be overstated how stupid and short sighted it is to complain about "narcissism of the youth" instead of the hegemonic systems that produce these insecure subjects

aging and physical appearance are such a weird thing to address, because while there's the actual physical process of aging that some people view as a negative, there's also the fact that many people feel more comfortable in their own skin as they age and that confidence can change perceptions

I know in the last five or so years I've definitely physically aged, partially due to a lot of stressors I had in my life and a bit of hard living. But I've also become much more comfortable with who I am and my appearance. So last week I was flattered when I got id'ed to buy beer, but then I was also flattered when someone at a bar (where I feel comfortable hanging out and talking to strangers) guessed my age within a year -- one year older, actually!

I think that was the biggest lie that was implied when I was a kid -- that you make it through puberty, and become an adult, and then as an adult you're supposed to stay relatively the same physically until you "get old" and any other changes are because you did something negative (got fat), or did something positive (started some crazy fitness thing).

This is kind of all bullshit because everyone is constantly changing, not just due to age but their environment, and there's no inherent good/bad value judgment. They're just changes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMGRYWFD-2A

oh, you

i think everyone just needs to listen to zen arcade enough times and they will come out on the other side of the tunnel

(not really but it helps)

I'm on a slow climb out of negativeheadspace -- i'm nowhere near KIP but I've discovered that being fat and looking good is as simple as a) wearing stuff that makes me happy and/or b)smiling because I'm happy

like the difference in the 2 photos homoII posted for me comes down to the look on her face - the first she just looks sad (and the first thing I said to myself was oh damn I know that face) and in the second, she looks unfuckwithable because she's fucking BEAMING.

for me I'm just trying to learn not to mentally retreat when I'm out in the world, but be present and enjoy just being me out in the world.

so, that.

be present and enjoy just being me out in the world.

<3 <3 <3 <3

hello thread, ilu and glad that you exist, each of you a body

i would like to be more positive about my body

honestly i would like to learn how to be more consciously integrated ~into~ my body, become comfortable with actually just ~being~ a body, instead of having this concept of my body as a mind-vehicle

cartesian dualism is stupid and dumb

!!!! I have almost posted something similar about six times already!

I feel more like I am just a body, sometimes. With its flaws, which I seem to obsess over one at a time in a neurotic fashion. Maybe quirks is a better word.

the purpose of my brain is to obsessively fixate on how my glasses are out of place and attempt to adjust them every 20 seconds for three hours, or to sit up a little too rigidly because I've decided my posture is bad

one of the things that makes dualism happen is when there is a "you" that wants to do something and "your" body is complaining/refusing/being a dick about it

Brains have multitudes of quirks and flaws, too. They just don't show up in photographs, so you have to look harder to see them. xp

!mind positivity~

yeah i mean, for me it's hard to be aware of my body & how it ~feels~ in the moment without engaging in some sort of critical self-talk about it, i'm sure other people have mentioned this itt but i haven't had a chance to read it through

i've been trying to engage in some mindfulness meditation and that has been somewhat helpful in being able to identify and disengage from those types of thoughts as they happen but it's certainly a struggle

I was at the beach feeling p good about my nice, functional body and its pleasing lines (from what I could see) and how good it felt, and then later I saw a photo and was unpleasantly surprised--it didn't feel like I was a sea lion wearing an innertube around its midsection. Still, at least I got to have the day all to myself to feel good.

I guess it's a just a series of those moments, allowing yourself to forget to think about it, and then being reminded later, but already having had the positive experience. Maybe one key element is not stopping yourself from having the next one.

i was at a bbq on sunday and this gay was talking about how he likes to go to provincetown during Bear Week because "it makes him feel skinny" and i legit wanted to slap his face

Would you say you positively wanted to slap his face?

maybe he meant it in an erotic way, like he feels tiny with a few bears sitting on him

guess I should own up to being the guy behind the "healthy hot fatties" quote mentioned at the top of this thread. It was horribly worded, I was drunk a the time and trying v hard to be privilege acknowledging guy, my point that I was trying to make was that obv it's bullshit to be judging ppl on perceived "healthiness" and "fuckability" but that sizeism is clearly unfair EVEN ON THOSE TERMS. It was a dumb thing to say tho cause complaining about "unfairness" posits a "fair" way to shame ppl for their bodies.

I was also feeling maudlin and wanted an excuse to whinge about my own feelings about my body (which don't belong on this thread) and I'm sorry if I upset anybody.

You aces, wins.

By which I meant "You're aces."

thx carl, really. I was bummed to be singled out on ~this thread~ as a ~that thread~ guy and then I went back and reread what I wrote :-\

...i was thinking about how we appraise ourselves and it's tied into the way we appraise others isn't it? i feel like it is for me, or like i'm not thinking "do i like the way i look?" but "will other people like the way i look?"

― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 9, 2013 7:12 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i think if other people weren't in the equation i wd be 100 percent contented with me on the surface, just the aches and pains i can do without

― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 9, 2013 7:13 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

...maybe it's a gendered experience? do women learn to appraise themselves differently to men on the whole do you think?

― the SI unit of ignorance (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, July 9, 2013 7:14 AM (9 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

when we imagine that others are evaluating and harshly judging our appearance, we're probably just projecting our own self-judgment onto an imaginary surrogate. it's displaced anxiety or even self-loathing.

of course we all do judge one another, at least from time to time, and it's only sensible to be aware of that. i'm talking about a sustained preoccupation with the idea that one is being measured and found wanting, especially when there isn't much real evidence that this is the case. i do it, and i'm a guy, but i've known lots of similarly afflicted women.

Trayce, feeling you on the face-sagging fears.

One thing that is pretty fucked-up: I hate my features that I think scan as Appalachian/poor white trash (which is my background on both sides of my family). I tend to have petty, contemptuous thoughts about other women who look like that, too. It's especially dumb considering that I am very much in favor of women of other ethnicities/ethnic backgrounds cultivating pride in features that do not fit the mainstream beauty standards.

In KIP news on this thread, I have just met a guy online who thinks I am incredibly hot and cute, so thats absolutely cheered me up. Not that I need verification from others to feel good, but hey! I'm 42 and I apparently still got it.

I am constantly mistaken for someone about 25, which bugs me a lot, because in my mind I am a hardboiled dame. And also these bozos at work think we're the same age and I want to shout: NO, I AM YOUR SUPERIOR IN MIDDLE MANAGEMENT, FEAR ME!!!

^^Better if hissed through gritted teeth.

had a little moment when i realized something: i may never have to worry about showing too much (any) cleavage, but i have a decent looking clavicle.

Haha! That's cute, and I would agree.

Nice clavage

:D

haha
why thank u

I wore a very tight pencil skirt today without hosiery, shapewear, or anything tummy flattening, and at least seven people have looked me up and down with confusion or scorn today.

jealousy imo

NATURALLY

A+++++

HOT!