Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Your giffgaff SIM will be with you quick smart.
If you can't see this email in all its glory click here

Hi,

So you've ordered a giffgaff SIM. Nice work. Your order number is xxxxxxxx. Your shiny new giffgaff SIM will be with you in three to four days depending on how far the postie has to go.

it arrives in an ingenious folded envelope of recycled matter as well

i'm just going to put it in the bin, on second thoughts i don't need to talk to anyone ever

(is their reception as shit as some say it is btw?)

ummm it's not amazing iirc but it's not noticeably worse than vodafone's.

with us you sometimes won't be able to hear your friends, but that way you can pretend you're wearing a set of big fluffy electronic earmuffs!

it's just whatever o2 reception is

"hiya, welcome to giff gaff voicemail. yer've no new messages."

eff you.

http://i.imgur.com/uV2sBdA.jpg

"Hello Ronan

With all the brilliant butchers, bakers and grocers at your fingertips, we like to let the food do the talking. But we’re quite a chatty bunch! So here’s a tasty tongue-twister to help you find love at first bite:

If you fancy flawless flavours and the freshest food
Fork out forty of your finest pounds and your fabulous feast will fly in our friendly fleet for free
And you’ll feel fabulously flush for we’ll forget ten pounds from your final fee!*

All you need to do is place your first order by midnight tomorrow (and get your tongue around it)."

I want to use you Hubbub, but you're making it so hard for me.

people are being paid good money to come up with this tripe.

I don't really get the Hubbub USP

Although they've somehow managed to ruin anthropormphic vegetables, which I'd have thought was basically impossible

I don't mind the alliteration, that's just common garden poor writing. But the "We're quite a chatty bunch" is basically evil.

i get shit like this from suppliers all the time. the email footers for all the staff at one particular olive trader titles them all "lovely olivey person".

nice repetition of "all" there, i should get a job writing copy for one of these.

"lovely olivey person" = oleaginous pleb

Does this kind of marketing happen outside of the Anglosphere? Does it even happen in the states?

turns out the french aren't immune to the exact same twee copy style:

http://www.micheletaugustin.com/indexflash.htm

― jonathan livingston seapunk (c sharp major), Thursday, April 4, 2013 9:30 PM (3 months ago)

got a vice piece hopefully up today that's very much inspired by this thread, so cheers guys.

― the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Friday, June 21, 2013 10:03 AM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what happened to this? i would like to be mean about it

wd also really like to talk to someone who works in advertising and see what the idea behind this is, what the industry thinks about it.

Like is someone in charge of this tidal wave (innocent smoothies aesthetic + strummy plinky plonk twee music on everything + ee by eck naturally satisfying urban farms + 'Hello there old buddy old pal: just a quick reminder that Ladbrokes would really love you to pay up, or they'll have to start tickling Rhodri the mumblecore owl')? Or are people just copying whatever style looks like it's shifting a lot of products?

I don't know if I've already mentioned it, but moving back to the UK last year, certain things stood out having been away for so long. The infantilised font on most packaging was one of them. It never used to be like this, I swear! All rounded edges and Early Learning Centre design.

John Humphrys asked me why you were not at Glastonbury this weekend. I said Labour leaders can't be seen standing in muddy fields listening to bands. And then I thought how terribly sad that this is true. So: be that great Labour leader that you can be, but try to have a real life too. And if you want to see an awesome band, I recommend Drenge.

Yours sincerely,

Tom Watson

yeah i was going to post that somewhere

he outlived his usefulness when murdoch walked out of the committee room

Am I right in thinking he was a supporter of some of the worst Blairite shit, too?

Which also gives the lie to this transparent bullshit - 'Labour leaders can't be seen standing in muddy fields listening to bands'? Labour leaders STARTED the rush to be seen doing just that. Fuck you guys. Fuck you all.

Voted very strongly for the Iraq war.
Voted very strongly against an investigation into the Iraq war.

it arrives in an ingenious folded envelope of recycled matter as well

― reet pish (imago), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 19:59 (5 days ago) Bookmark

...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjTJBRy4T0U

cool wolves badge bro

putting morcheeba behind footage surely played itself out 15 years ago

Jesus Christ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=hh0Jq680aZM

do we know who recorded that cover version because i'd like to have a chat with them?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMrJp_cQgOE

Join in on Twitter and tell us you reasons for being cheerful with #ReasonsToBeCheerful

the guilty man revealed here: http://www.tvadmusic.co.uk/2013/07/vauxhall-astra-reasons-to-be-cheerful/

He's talking nonce-Sense

That Vauxhall advert is some of the most nauseating shit I've ever heard

I normally wouldn't do the 'oh no cover version has ruined song' routine but here ... I mean ...

http://25.media.tumblr.com/73147b15c1adc01ce7122bd6eac709ed/tumblr_mps4p3WKp41rbhsiqo1_500.jpg

From http://tomewing.tumblr.com/post/55180047941/fellinlovewithapie-one-of-the-original-twee

No

http://i.imgur.com/LPcXYss.jpg

Youtube just gave me an error message:

500 Internal Server Error

Sorry, something went wrong.

A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.

If you see them, show them this information:
RU6slmZbXKa7hv6iLkCUtLFxWkDzZBSpu5DZZGXdESzQ0OVhsJ1Z3mvpes6Z
AX7Nfs4s24OXcnHa5e-Z4_flCxlY5JcC889euzerO6qkIWNZJUF72z6gxcHg
P4WqqKWtIvPw2Z5OPzhgTP9s9pxhswskv0Khz5aTi7Bp0EEaD4l7z19yTrce
xHrKl_ld_mtYW1aSBW00IUn-i2ksDyftLHhpcC0uZnMJugl2mrAt3lcl3J2-
VvOKkMTB8iITtwmfnZ8CiUjpD5h7x6Zop0G-0iyINqG_26EmZSAvoToR4Sbq etc etc etc

http://i40.tinypic.com/5x3peb.png

ooky pooky poo! blee blee blee

http://www.thedrum.com/news/2013/07/11/innocent-drinks-tweet-sparks-social-media-pet-o2-tango-and-betfair

saw a postman yesterday. he was wearing an official post office t-shirt that said 'Postie' on the front.

This shit makes me feel like Peter Hitchens

jesus - just "jesus" is all i can think.

Fuck these guys for ruining pictures of dogs.

http://www.thedrum.com/stuff/2013/07/11/tesco-mobile-takes-o2-twitter-rap-battle

ah ffs

these people are the most evil members of society who aren't actually committing violent crimes or working in positions of power.