"Christ, what an asshole."
― This amigurumi Jamaican octopus is ready to chill with you (Phil D.), Monday, 1 July 2013 19:28 (ten years ago) link
"And I got her, nigga...grocery bag"
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Monday, 1 July 2013 19:30 (ten years ago) link
"Ah! My old friend Bilbo BAG-gins from BAG End."
― Philip Nunez, Monday, 1 July 2013 19:39 (ten years ago) link
"So, what are you like in the sack?"
― Wide Area Network King (snoball), Monday, 1 July 2013 20:42 (ten years ago) link
"You ever wrap your head around a good book?"
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 1 July 2013 20:50 (ten years ago) link
"Michael? Michael Jenkins? Is that you??!"
― Poliopolice, Monday, 1 July 2013 21:30 (ten years ago) link
"At least the LASIK turned out OK"
― wombspace (abanana), Tuesday, 2 July 2013 05:53 (ten years ago) link
love this
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 2 July 2013 10:23 (ten years ago) link
"So, you say you work in retail?"
― Poliopolice, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 15:41 (ten years ago) link
"Fascinating! You know, I spent two weeks as a bag lady back in college -- it really taught me about what's important in life -- I'm writing a memoir about my experiences and hard-earned wisdom right now, in fact, and let me tell you ..."
― Øystein, Tuesday, 2 July 2013 16:16 (ten years ago) link
Ha, love this one.
― Murder in the Rue McClanahan (jaymc), Tuesday, 2 July 2013 17:15 (ten years ago) link
"The bag Mother thinks I'm wearing doesn't have peepholes"
― dj hollingsworth vs dj perry (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 July 2013 17:30 (ten years ago) link
Bag man is running for 2 weeks.
Noms for this one are:http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/24/g290/130624_contest_g290.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 8 July 2013 10:14 (ten years ago) link
I submitted mine but no luck.
Don't like any of these. None of them make any specific reference to a traffic stop. The equations with 'd' and 's' and 't' were close enough to Newtonian mechanics that there should be at least one allusion to speeding.
A is the least worst, but isn't it usually "ignorance of the law is no excuse"?
― Plasmon, Monday, 8 July 2013 16:56 (ten years ago) link
B made me smile, for indescribable New-Yorker-cartoon reasons. Although the pun on "lesson" is bad.
― wombspace (abanana), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 02:32 (ten years ago) link
ALL THREE ARE SHIT
― Poliopolice, Tuesday, 9 July 2013 20:15 (ten years ago) link
^
― how bad could it be to be stuck to the couch, forever... (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 10 July 2013 05:46 (ten years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/01/g290/130701_contest_g290.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 15 July 2013 11:19 (ten years ago) link
So, this week:
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/07/22/p465/130722_contest_p465.jpg
"Do you mind? We're busy operating on Mr. Hitler."
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Monday, 15 July 2013 11:37 (ten years ago) link
"Hole in one."
― Øystein, Monday, 15 July 2013 12:25 (ten years ago) link
"Don't worry, we've managed to extract your mashie whole."
― Øystein, Monday, 15 July 2013 12:44 (ten years ago) link
(hrm, it's obvious that all I know of golf I learned from Wodehouse. Should perhaps substitute "five iron" or something for mashie. I love those old names though. Mashie niblick, I think? Wonderful!)
― Øystein, Monday, 15 July 2013 12:46 (ten years ago) link
I suggest you try to fix that slice
― conrad, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:06 (ten years ago) link
Im sorry is this not a golf course lol
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:21 (ten years ago) link
Look dr simpson it is a gentleman in full golfing regalia, dont allow it to distract u from this vital procedure i shall deal with the ruffian fortwith lol
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:22 (ten years ago) link
They said greens dress code have i fucked up oh lord first day eh lol
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:24 (ten years ago) link
There's an "unplayable lie: one stroke penalty" joke in this but I can't quite shape it.
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:26 (ten years ago) link
Heh i didnt actually spot the ball there tbh
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:27 (ten years ago) link
Surgeon: no i wont hold the fucking door for you
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:28 (ten years ago) link
Eh the patient is dead y/n
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:29 (ten years ago) link
"let's start with the good news - you're 101m from the green and i'd say a 9-iron out the window with a good bounce and you can still make par."
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:32 (ten years ago) link
"god damn it, i'm a brain surgeon, not a caddy!"
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:36 (ten years ago) link
"no golf shoes in the theatre ffs"
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:38 (ten years ago) link
This was all fields when I were a lad
― kaptn barfhard (NickB), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:39 (ten years ago) link
"apologies for my lateness. I was........stuck in traffic?"
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:42 (ten years ago) link
"is this where i get handicapped?"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:44 (ten years ago) link
"yes i'm tyler goode"
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:45 (ten years ago) link
"Please remember to repair any divots before you leave the course."
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:46 (ten years ago) link
no, ophthalmology is on the ground floor
― conrad, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:46 (ten years ago) link
"Fore-ceps!"
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:47 (ten years ago) link
"this is not what i was expecting but i guess it is pretty crazy"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:47 (ten years ago) link
"she says she wants to go back to thailand"
― r|t|c, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:49 (ten years ago) link
"a good operation spoiled"
― estela, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:49 (ten years ago) link
"When I was told by the secretary that this golf club was a hip operation, this isn't what I had in mind."
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:51 (ten years ago) link
"well don't just stand there! give me the driver!"
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:52 (ten years ago) link
Surgeon: "How did you get in here?"Golfer: "I used a pitching wedge."
― Meine Damen und Herren, ein grosse sh*tstorm! (snoball), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:53 (ten years ago) link
Thailand one has pitched right over my head tbh
― dub job deems (darraghmac), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:56 (ten years ago) link
i assumed it was just a ref to old man golfer having a thai bride?
― Shamrock Shoe (LocalGarda), Monday, 15 July 2013 13:57 (ten years ago) link
I may be out of bounds here but are you sure this operation is totally necessary?
― conrad, Monday, 15 July 2013 13:57 (ten years ago) link