dying in a pool of cow shit: worst death ever OR worst. death. ever.
― milo z, Friday, 22 June 2007 12:49 (seventeen years ago) link
But I remember some more enjoyable films... like the one about how you should keep over to the left on country bends, in which this country and western band drove around in an open topped car singing about how you should keep over to the left on country bends.
Is that the one about single track roads? I drove Mister M up the wall singing that song when we drove around Pembrokeshire a couple of years ago. There I was, flashing my flasher, putting on my brakes, and pulling right in to that passing space, all the while thanking my lucky stars that I was on holiday.
― accentmonkey, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:05 (seventeen years ago) link
"never go parking in a passing place/someone might need that yard of space"
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:37 (seventeen years ago) link
Before I click on the links, are these for real (4REAL!)?
Absolutely, you can even enjoy them on dvd.
http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/I/51K5S1ZEB5L._SS500_.jpg
― Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:43 (seventeen years ago) link
But I bet they don't have the horrible ones on there!
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 13:44 (seventeen years ago) link
Just watched the dark and lonely water, still seems as terrifying as when I saw it 30+ years ago.
Some people seem to miss the point though.
steerpike66 (3 days ago) Marked as spam Lovely. Such a blast from the past; kids today never get the chance to be menaced by Donald Pleasance because they're all inside playing on their Wii. or on stupid fucking 'play-dates' organized by control-freak parents.
― Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:47 (seventeen years ago) link
I'm intrigued as to what 'Splink' presented by Jon Pertwee might be.
― chap, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:50 (seventeen years ago) link
Road safety, innit
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 13:50 (seventeen years ago) link
Don't splink and drive and all that.
― NickB, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:51 (seventeen years ago) link
I remember one called 'Bobby' or 'Billy' about some guy who played on a railway line and got electrocuted (but didn't die); anyone else see that one?
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:55 (seventeen years ago) link
These are fantastic (and while I can see the horror for a kid watching them as an adult they are really funny.) As I said to my friend when I emailed her the "Apache" link it's like a freaky cross between 7UP, Final Destination and All Creatures Great & Small! And the little dedication at the end is makes me think of the Afterword to A Scanner Darkly!
― Alex in SF, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:59 (seventeen years ago) link
The scrolling list of kids killed by farms at the end was really WOAH because the first batch of names looked like they were involved in the same incident and when they got to the "a bazillion children were murdered by tractors" part I went "OH COME THE FUCK ON" before I stopped being a dumbass.
Also WTF at the kid in the dedication who blew up on a farm.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link
When I look at them now, I can't help thinking that they were surely just a scheme for getting work for the people who made them--a way of spending government money on the film industry film without the broke-ass public going berserk about it.
But perhaps I'm overthinking it.
― accentmonkey, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:16 (seventeen years ago) link
Aaaaaaargghh, I wish I could see this!
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link
How does the penultimate kid die? He seems to jump into a puddle and then the scene cuts to a tractor. How does that work?
Also, drowning in shit = ;_;
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:20 (seventeen years ago) link
(SPOILER alert, obv.)
And the little dedication at the end is makes me think of the Afterword to A Scanner Darkly!
Wow, I never thought of that! You're right!
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link
-- Billy Dods, Friday, 22 June 2007 13:47 (35 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
I read that one as well. I figured the reason why the parents are control freaks is that they saw all these films when they were children.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:24 (seventeen years ago) link
don't live before you've died etc etc etc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWb5UhdMHvw&NR=1
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link
*die before you've lived even
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link
things are so much better, now we terrorize children in person
Teachers stage fake gunman attack on sixth-graders aka what the hell is wrong with people
in the future we'll just pick a few kids off to teach the others a lesson
― Edward III, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:26 (seventeen years ago) link
SPOILERS
kid 1: run over by tractor kid 2: drowns in shit kid 3: drinks poison kid 4: crushed by gate kid 5: rides tractor off a cliff kid 6: still alive, is all sadface at the wake
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:33 (seventeen years ago) link
there's an interesting psychological component to adults who deal with their fear of mortality by traumatizing children. cruelty beneath a veil of saintly protective benevolence.
my favorites were the drug abuse ones they showed us in grade school - grimy clips of seedy people vomiting in stairwells and police photos of o.d. victims.
― Edward III, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:34 (seventeen years ago) link
We were shown photos of someone who had gone so OTT in their glue-sniffing that they'd covered their face entirely in glue, blocking all their breathing passages, and in desperation had attempted to perform an impromptu tracheotomy upon themselves using only their NAILS.
It's still quite possibly the most sobering thing I've ever seen.
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:36 (seventeen years ago) link
Oh balls to that, glue sniffing is much more fun that, spoilsports
― Tom D., Friday, 22 June 2007 14:37 (seventeen years ago) link
Slightly dissapointed that no-one from the US has mentioned RED ASPHALT and it's ilk yet, apart from the (v funny) simpsons spoof on drivers ed films that tracer posted. We NEVER got shown anything that heavy.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:40 (seventeen years ago) link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyG6NIgpzBM&NR=1
― Just got offed, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link
It's still quite possibly the most sobering thing I've ever seen./
YSI?
― onimo, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:42 (seventeen years ago) link
There was this horrifying prom-based one they showed to our driver's ed class that was basically a completely normal "we're going to the prom!" shitty short right up until the ginormous drunk driving accident.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link
by the way Dubliners, I have a DVD of public information films if anyone wants to become too terrified to do anything.
― The Real Dirty Vicar, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:48 (seventeen years ago) link
Dan there are current, snazzy public service ads in the UK that use that same formula to very chastening effect.
my junior-high health class was shown slides of venereal warts, etc. that freaked us all right out. Our teacher ("Coach K") said that if anyone laughed, or even tittered, we would get sent straight to the principal's office. (None of us felt like laughing though.)
― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:57 (seventeen years ago) link
We watched a documentary on herpes that included extreme close-ups of herpes breakouts. It was beyond gross.
― HI DERE, Friday, 22 June 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link
"veal and ham pie...my favourite"
― J0hn D., Friday, 22 June 2007 15:59 (seventeen years ago) link
when I was a senior in high school, we got a live action version of these - they set up a crashed car, dead dummies, 'blood' all over the ground, brought in EMTs and a CareFlight helicopter, played sound effects of the screeching/crashing and moans. It was awesome.
― milo z, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:01 (seventeen years ago) link
None of the VD films on youtube are as gross as I hoped.
My Mum's friend's son drowned in a slurry pit when I was small. I still remember her crying on the phone when she found out.
― Madchen, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:11 (seventeen years ago) link
Good grief.
― Pashmina, Friday, 22 June 2007 16:21 (seventeen years ago) link
I love the Minnesota Twins shirt on that motorbike guy.
The prom one may have been The Last Prom.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=br49e1xOwVA
― Eric H., Friday, 22 June 2007 17:09 (seventeen years ago) link
These are all really some of the best films ever made.
― Eric H., Friday, 22 June 2007 17:11 (seventeen years ago) link
Pay Attention, Britain!
Sat 29 Mar, 2:50 am - 3:30 am 40mins
To mark the 60th anniversary of the Central Office of Information, Fi Glover narrates the story of the British public information film.
Subtitles Stereo Widescreen
― koogs, Friday, 28 March 2008 15:01 (sixteen years ago) link
aw, fucking hell! magnificent. er, what channel would that be? :)
missed this thread first time round ... anyway, "Panning shot through burned out house w/echoing voices of frightened children. Thus proving that giving matches to the very young is not a good idea" chilled me to the fucking bones when i was a kid, and i'm really quite glad that, when i clicked to watch it there, it had been "removed due to terms-of-use violation". whew.
i have a lengthy DVD of PIFs, and also -- yes -- "protect and survive" on VHS. i love this shit. even though it makes my soul go cold.
i have, however, never seen apaches. indeed: i'd never even heard of it. hmm: it's quarter to one on a saturday morning and mrs fiendish is watching season one of "medium" on DVD. now might be my time ...
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 00:44 (sixteen years ago) link
note to other late-night PIF-liking UK ilx0rs: BBC2.
the one i always remember, but only ever saw once, was a "be careful with petrol on boats!" kind of thing, where a dude in the middle of the ocean tried to top up his outboard motor while lighting a fag.
i seem to recall the mother of all explosions; they had to pan back several miles [1] to get the whole thing in.
[1] adjust for exaggeration to suit.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 00:49 (sixteen years ago) link
hmm. 10 minutes into apaches, i'm not gripped. "threads" it ain't. just scrotes, scroting.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:01 (sixteen years ago) link
OOOOH, shit. kid in slurry pit. the bubbles are an unpleasantly grim touch.
ok, yeh, this is dark as all hell.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:02 (sixteen years ago) link
Bloody hell I can't stay up till 3.30, SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK YOU KNOW, let's see if I can remember how to set a video for the first time in about a decade.
― Matt #2, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:08 (sixteen years ago) link
Not sure I can actually stay awake 'til then either. Why hide programs like this away? (also why give it a stupid title so it doesn't even jump out of the tv guide as something to watch?). Biggest childhood horror I remember, not sure if it was a general release PIF, or a railway police special, but the 3rd-rail burny-leg disaster was pretty scary, even though I lived in north wales and we didn't have electric rails. There's a good one on the tv at the moment which makes motorcycling look like the ultimate in extreme sport if-this-corner-doesn't-kill-you-something-around-the-next-one-will, I almost turned over, but I knew it'd probably be alright.
― Bocken Social Scene, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:08 (sixteen years ago) link
bloody hell. on to the third bit of apaches now. the wee girl's screams will haunt my dreams tonight, i fear. fucking hell.
on a marginally less bleak note: anyone remember "play it safe" with jimmy savile, a series of jolly little five-minute PIFs where the bejewelled funster pointed out how your house/garden/bike/etc was trying to kill you?
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:11 (sixteen years ago) link
Am I the only one that remembers The Finishing Line? It haunts me to this day.
― Matt #2, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:18 (sixteen years ago) link
xpost ... no, what was that?
as for apaches ... jesus.
that was deeply unpleasant.
anyone seen "building sites bite", then?
i'm off to bed, to sit, huddled and shivering, under the duvet.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:19 (sixteen years ago) link
i am not watching this tonight.
anyway:
the finishing line.
― grimly fiendish, Saturday, 29 March 2008 01:21 (sixteen years ago) link
I love DL's anti-littering PSA. They need to start airing it again because I bet it's pretty effective.
― carl agatha, Wednesday, 10 July 2013 13:55 (eleven years ago) link
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfyfY7PI3pg
― Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Monday, 10 August 2020 10:19 (four years ago) link
I never saw this one, despite growing up in a semi rural environment. Jill saw it when she was seven(!!!! WTF) and recalls it vividly. We watched it last night, and it is the most grim, macabre shit I think I have ever seen. We were both really upset and depressed after watching it. Unbelievable that this was shown to young children:
What was this? Such a tantalising description for a bunch of dead links!
― chap, Monday, 10 August 2020 10:32 (four years ago) link
I assume it's Apaches, which sees kids die in a variety of farmyard accidents over the course of a week - the one everyone remembers is drowning in a slurry pit, but also crushed by a gate, run over by a tractor trailer, drank poison and crashes a tractor after accidentally letting the hand brake off. Ends with a list of children that died in farm accidents that year.
― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Monday, 10 August 2020 10:39 (four years ago) link
That's the way to do it, scare the living shit out of the little baskets.
― Young Boys of Bernie (Tom D.), Monday, 10 August 2020 10:40 (four years ago) link
Grown Ups and Road Sense (it was dad in our new car, above) is one of my favourites and that I remember best*. "You'll ruin your eyes!"
* This is not true, I can still recite all of the Joe & Petunia films, remember Mike who swims like a fish (but looks like a monkey) and "excuse me sir, if I inquire, but isn't that your house on fire?" - as it turns out I said on here 15 years ago.
― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Monday, 10 August 2020 10:46 (four years ago) link
I notice some querying of SPLINK! earlier, I once offered a ton of bonus points in a pub quiz (enough to win) to anyone who could come up with any of the rules of the acronym.
― Mud... jam... failure (aldo), Monday, 10 August 2020 10:50 (four years ago) link