rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

http://i.imgur.com/i487uqQ.jpg

What the hell am I looking at there? Liquid pizza and spaghetti? Is it a drink? A topping? I NEED ANSWERS DAMMIT

I hope it's just extra garlic butter for your pizza and extra marinara for your pasta, but even that doesn't make me feel much better.

I'm kinda hoping it is a drink.

Imagine how refreshing it would be on a blazing summer's day to visit your local convenience store and pour yourself a big cup of ice-cold liquid pizza. Walking out onto the street, big fat drops of condensation form on the side of the cup and you hold it to your forehead, relishing the feeling of the cold, cold fluid against your heat-prickled skin and savouring the scent of pepperoni and oregano drifting from the cup's open top. Finally, you can't restrain yourself any more and you bring the liquid pizza that you've been craving all day to your lips and take a big hearty gulp. Liquid tomato, cheese and onion surge down your throat and you feel the chill of it hit your stomach and radiate out across your torso.

You're standing there on the baking sidewalk in the midday sun, liquid pizza in hand and your thirst quenched. Life is good. Life is good.

barrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf

well done

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/04/pizzaghetti-sloche_n_3380688.html

blame Canada

that convenience store chain Couche-Tard dreamt up a pizzaghetti-themed version of its frozen Sloche beverage

'douche-tard' morelike amirite

couche-tard has become a gag around our house in the last few days; hope it sticks.

Is Couche-Tard like a 7-11? The name essentially means night owl.

well, yes, 7-11 is also a convenience store.

right, but the name has to do with them being open long hours

That commercial for pizzaghetti is amazing

"Couche-Tard has a history of whipping up weird variations of the popular drink, like wonton, swamp and beef."

fuuuck these ppl

when has wonton ever been part of any drink

Actually, it appears that the flavors aren't actually the flavors advertised. Pizzaghetti is really Strawberry-Kiwi.

Which makes even less sense?

Fraise-ki peut

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sloche#Flavors

All Sloche flavor names are humorous and often gross, a marketing decision aimed at pleasing a mostly teenager crowd. The brand mission was described as: "To satisfy their need for sensory gratification and protest against authority, parents and society.

so you see...

The marketing is puerile but the flavors are conventional; disqualified.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=k5yo5UGsU2Q

it's pretty chaste marketing. but it stil creeps me out!

Couche tard, iirc, is the French version of Mac's, which has an owl mascot :)

wtf trolling w slushys wtf 'here at couche tard it's April Fool's day every day'

extra garlic butter for your pizza

what the hell

do people put butter on pizza

unacceptable

yeah that is gross and I even like pineapple on pizza

about time this devolved into a pizza thread

I mean jfc I'm all for occasional gluttony but do people not realize that adding even more grease to a super-greasy food is diminsihing returns?

Papa John's pizza comes with a little container of garlic butter. I have dipped my pizza in this butter, back when I used to order from Papa John's. u_u

the point is the garlic, butter is simply its vessel

it is also incredibly delicious and the reason i prefer papa johns always

Anyway Steve Martin was making "pizza in a cup" jokes way back in The Jerk, so like way to be late to the game, trolling Canadian convenience whatever.

Garlic is the one true God, and melted better his only prophet.

is garlic butter a condiment to grease up your pizza bones?

by "pizza bones" i mean "crusts"

hah, pizza bone sis a great euphemism for crusts

pizza bone sis was the worst Pearl Jam/Soungarden related band imo

if crusts are "bones" does that make stuffed crust pizza osso buco?

Fraise-ki peut

― Lectures of Pelé (Michael White), Wednesday, June 12, 2013 11:17 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark

c'est impec!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinchack/american-fast-food-items-that-arent-about-to-apologize-fo

#20!!

we don't have dunkin donuts here : (

i have had 1, 2, 3 on that list

I've had none of those things. I was in the presence of a Doritos Loco Taco last weekend though. I have also manually out fries on a burger.

its really weird to see these absurd DD menu item rollouts every 3 months, it used to be a regional coffee shop, you could get a muffin maybe or the munchkins (donut holes) and that it, now they're like maniacal food perverts coming up with all sorts of new obscene permutations of breakfast food

the newest market-tested breakfast whatsit is an egg and bacon sandwich on a glazed donut

Idea: The Cronitos Locos Taco -- A taco in a cronut sprinkled with dorito dust.

http://gawker.com/wendys-stops-rogue-restaurant-from-selling-9-patty-t-513257252

wendy's shutting down independent scientific inquiry! can we really make any progress on fundamental issues if food laboratory researchers have to spend all their time securing grants and running studies for their corporate cronut donors?

Idea: The Cronitos Locos Taco -- A taco in a cronut sprinkled with dorito dust.

patent this now imo

The Bakronaut -- a bacon cronut drizzled with sauerkraut and launched into space