You Want Superman Revamp? [Also the Man of Steel (2013) thread]

FINALLY the grim and gritty superman movie that no one was asking for

cool, we're getting pre-Crisis Superman

in bone-snapping 360-degree rotating slowmo

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY

CHRISTOPHER NOLAN

DAVID S. GOYER

THAT "SUPERMAN IS A DICK" WEBSITE GUY

Superman goes on a PCP binge and eats off Lex Luthor's face

Wait, he eats off of his face, or eats his face off?

he eats a tasty calzone off Lex Luthor's face, yes that's exactly what I was saying

"Oh hey Kal-El would you like a tasty calzone?"

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/verger.jpg

Why didn't I go with "Kal-elzone?" WHY?

As punishment, you will be banished to endless imprisonment in the Phantom Kalzone: the eternal void, which you yourself discovered.

Damn, Nietzsche really DID invent it all.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2013/jun/11/man-steel-hollywood-break-superheroes

Yes, yes, yes again.

wow joe queenan got old huh

You wake up awesome. Not because you did something special like beat Hitler or cure polio. All you did was wake up. And suddenly you were awesome. It is the dream of the fame-hungry X Factor generation.

Yes, it's true. Superheroes have never been popular with any other generation.

I do, however, love "Is nothing sacred? No."

Superhero movies are made for a society that has basically given up. The police can't protect us, the government can't protect us, there are no more charismatic loners to protect us and the euro is defunct. Clint Eastwood has left the building. So let's turn things over to the vigilantes.

this is a joke, right?

I have not been able to figure out whether the Dark Knight can actually fly

out-denbys denby. pray you avoid it.

it's weird tho bc queenan didn't used to be insane i don't think

the vigilantes are finally welcome now that dirty harry is gone

http://manofsteelresources.com/

Not all superheroes are Republicans, but most of the movies are. Republicans, that is.

http://www.charlierose.com/images_toplevel/content/11/1153/clip_11531_460x345.jpg

"Superhero movies are made for a society that has basically given up. The police can't protect us, the government can't protect us, there are no more charismatic loners to protect us and the euro is defunct. Clint Eastwood has left the building. So let's turn things over to the vigilantes."

uh, Eastwood freq played a vigilante w/ a badge

othwise Queenan otm

also stop going to these fucking movies

Man of Steel didn't sexualize Superman enough.

the vigilantes are finally welcome now that dirty harry is gone

― we're up all night to get (s1ocki), Wednesday, June 12, 2013 1:23 AM (8 hours ago) Bookmark

lol i was gonna say

I guess Dirty Harry did manage 3 weeks at #1, after all.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_1971_box_office_number-one_films_in_the_United_States

But so did And Now for Something Completely Different.

I'm more amazed that said Monty Python film did that well!

I just seriously don't get how someone can decry the fascistic potential of the superhero-as-savior concept and in the same breath lament that "there are no more charismatic loners to protect us." What is he even asking for?

wait, who's saying that

"Superhero movies are made for a society that has basically given up. The police can't protect us, the government can't protect us, there are no more charismatic loners to protect us and the euro is defunct. Clint Eastwood has left the building. So let's turn things over to the vigilantes."

I know it was already quoted twice but since you asked

Dirty Harry was not a "vigilante" as such. He was a pissed-off cop, and after the first movie he was a very by-the-book kind of guy. Magnum Force is about him stopping other guys from doing just what he did in Dirty Harry!

Paul Kersey in Death Wish was a vigilante.

Yeah, he's saying the lament is coming from the audience he's attacking here.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/f/f0/The_outlaw_josey_wales.jpg/220px-The_outlaw_josey_wales.jpg

guy looks pretty lawful to me

DJP: no prob, i spaced and missed it both times... i need more sleep

that queenan piece is such a bummer, weird to see him be so muddled and earnest about a subject he was so entertainingly flippant about 20 years ago

Seriously, tho. Man of Steel is so unbelievably boring.

I'll take divisive over pleasant.

From whatever third stringer is handling tentpole reviews now that all the good people left The AV Club:

Man Of Steel eschews the usual trappings of Superman stories—right down to the word “Superman,” which is uttered only once. There’s no Lex Luthor, no Kryptonite, no glasses, no mild-mannered reporter, very little Daily Planet, and even less Metropolis.

Yeah, stuffing a movie full of those worked real well for Bryan Singer. Why would Nolan and Snyder avoid them?

good point. Superman Returns tried too hard with the Superman 2 baggage

Yeah, stuffing a movie full of those worked real well for Bryan Singer.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/criticwire/how-hit-movies-become-flops

Colloquially, I don't remember anyone really liking the Singer Superman, but ^^^ article says otherwise.

BY MATT SINGER

hmmmm

I enjoyed it somewhat for nostalgic reasons. I really don't feel the need to see this one though. What the heck is that costume made of, alligator skin or something?

it has the texture of fruity rollups

WADERPANTS | JUNE 13, 2013 12:11 AMREPLY

Why does no writer ever reference audience reviews from Rotten Tomatoes?
Check Superman Returns 67% from audience. Batman Begins 90%. Man of Steel 97%.
Remember... Critics don't buy tickets, fans do. Returns was a beautifully filmed, but boring movie. Only scene in the film that felt like Superman was him saving the airplane. Stalker Superman was just creepy.

xpost xfabric

Stalker Superman was just creepy.

Yes, this is when it turned from boring movie to terrible movie.

Jesus Superman is the worst, seriously