God bless the goddamn Onion

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wait the onion has a paywall

ty based gay dead computer god (zachlyon), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 08:52 (thirteen years ago)

for us benighted non-Americans, yes.

Neil S, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:05 (thirteen years ago)

http://adblockplus.org

oxygenating our wombspace (abanana), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:07 (thirteen years ago)

I've seen it pop up a couple of times but usually I seem to be immune to it xpost maybe that's why

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:10 (thirteen years ago)

tbf you only need to read the headline anyway

ty based gay dead computer god (zachlyon), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:12 (thirteen years ago)

Can someone explain what this one is satirising? idgi

http://www.theonion.com/articles/asian-guy-has-separate-group-of-just-asian-friends,32681/

Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:14 (thirteen years ago)

tbf you only need to read the headline anyway

This has been increasingly not the case recently, which is what's led to me paying up.

Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:25 (thirteen years ago)

You can bypass the Onion paywall by using incognito mode (in Chrome, or its equivalent in other browsers).

Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 11:24 (thirteen years ago)

xp I suppose 1 page view a week puts me over what the onion thinks they should be giving away for free. It just seems weird to pay for obvious, mediocre satire when I've got ILX for that.

Random .mdb Memories (NotEnough), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 11:34 (thirteen years ago)

Ah ha, cheers Eyeball.

Random .mdb Memories (NotEnough), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 11:34 (thirteen years ago)

Can someone explain what this one is satirising? idgi

http://www.theonion.com/articles/asian-guy-has-separate-group-of-just-asian-friends,32681/

― Just noise and screaming and no musical value at all. (Colonel Poo), Wednesday, June 5, 2013 5:14 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Its satirizing clueless ppl who see everything in racially tinged terms and also white ppl thinking that if they aren't invited to everything ever thats racism.

stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 14:13 (thirteen years ago)

My Korean girlfriend kinda does this, though. Different circles of relationships are a thing. It's just not really that funny :/

Millsner, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 15:38 (thirteen years ago)

Couldn't tell you how often I notice myself hanging out with only white people.

pplains, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 15:39 (thirteen years ago)

My Korean girlfriend kinda does this, though. Different circles of relationships are a thing. It's just not really that funny :/

― Millsner, Wednesday, June 5, 2013 11:38 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

right, its people being bothered by them thats funny

stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 18:07 (thirteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-on-cusp-of-having-fun-remembers-every-single-o,32632/

― Evan, Friday, May 31, 2013 10:15 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

That made me want to cry for the rest of my life

― kinder, Friday, May 31, 2013 11:59 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ugh yeah pretty much

― some dude, Friday, May 31, 2013 12:04 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

had a real life version of this yesterday hanging out at a deck party when my dad called to talk about my money problems

treeship journey to stars hollow (some dude), Monday, 10 June 2013 00:22 (thirteen years ago)

Really want to share this one on FB just to see the shitstorm it would start with my family.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nelson-mandela-admits-thoughts-prayers-of-millions,32853/

This amigurumi Jamaican octopus is ready to chill with you (Phil D.), Tuesday, 18 June 2013 17:05 (twelve years ago)

‘Whitey Bulger Ordered The Murder Of 19 People,’ Reports Anonymous Rat Bastard

goole, Tuesday, 18 June 2013 18:00 (twelve years ago)

every headline on the site is killing me

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Thursday, 20 June 2013 03:51 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/fully-leveledup-video-game-character-marvels-at-ho,32883/

Neil S, Thursday, 20 June 2013 10:28 (twelve years ago)

Rupert Murdoch, Donald Trump, Idi Amin, Joseph Stalin Celebrate Heat Victory

mookieproof, Friday, 21 June 2013 04:03 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/usa-renews-burn-notice-royal-pains-burn-collar-cov,32954/

I love hating these kind of shows.

Evan, Tuesday, 25 June 2013 20:22 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dying-kid-in-houston-holding-on-until-astros-devel,33022/

Mr. Mojo Readin' (C. Grisso/McCain), Tuesday, 2 July 2013 20:11 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/video/new-wearable-computer-also-sucks-your-dick,33017/

molly ratchet (crüt), Saturday, 6 July 2013 16:46 (twelve years ago)

Would beta-test.

nickn, Saturday, 6 July 2013 17:33 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/kids-tired-of-hearing-boring-stories-about-how-fat,33025/

even the beatles had a coinstar machine in their living room (Crabbits), Saturday, 6 July 2013 17:41 (twelve years ago)

haha noooo

goole, Monday, 8 July 2013 05:18 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/george-zimmerman-wins-florida-state-lottery,33139/

ᶓ͠סּᴥ͠סּᶔ ᶓͼ᷆ₓͼ᷇ᶔ (gr8080), Tuesday, 16 July 2013 22:45 (twelve years ago)

it's total lolcollege, but i love this one
http://www.theonion.com/articles/rock-apparently-factors-into-girlfriends-shower-ro,33138/

how bad could it be to be stuck to the couch, forever... (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 17 July 2013 19:11 (twelve years ago)

I had a cackle at this headline: http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-who-couldnt-defeat-george-w-bush-attempting-to,33149/

Gukbe, Wednesday, 17 July 2013 19:13 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/deepak-chopras-epic-twitter-meltdown,33170/

Cap'n Conserv-a-pedia (Hurting 2), Friday, 19 July 2013 20:37 (twelve years ago)

whoops

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 July 2013 16:28 (twelve years ago)

what

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 22 July 2013 16:37 (twelve years ago)

hola, amigos, maybe it's a running gag?

pplains, Monday, 22 July 2013 16:44 (twelve years ago)

yah otm, the group has the same pic and same name, so it's just two stories about the same group, nbd

congratulations (n/a), Monday, 22 July 2013 16:46 (twelve years ago)

I guess I'd have noticed that if I'd read the stories. Jeez, goole!

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 July 2013 16:47 (twelve years ago)

yes, as in, uh oh, a running gag

goole, Monday, 22 July 2013 17:34 (twelve years ago)

running keep on truckin' hobo improv

goole, Monday, 22 July 2013 17:43 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/royal-baby-born,33171/

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 July 2013 19:50 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/royal-baby-already-crawling,33174/

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 July 2013 20:19 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/royal-baby-eats-first-meal,33191/

Ⓓⓡ. (Johnny Fever), Monday, 22 July 2013 20:23 (twelve years ago)

Looking forward to the baby's first public appearance.
These articles must be really confusing for people browsing with images turned off.

Øystein, Monday, 22 July 2013 20:40 (twelve years ago)

I think it's reasonable to assume that, any time one of the Onion writers makes a series of decisions which ends with them watching improv, we'll see that picture again.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 23 July 2013 07:08 (twelve years ago)

i think they realized they missed this and just had to do one more

http://www.theonion.com/articles/royal-baby-has-fathers-eyes,33216/

stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 02:22 (twelve years ago)

literally could not breathe

http://www.theonion.com/video/judge-rules-white-girl-will-be-tried-as-black-adul,18896/

surm, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 02:28 (twelve years ago)

wooooow

some dude, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 11:14 (twelve years ago)

I woke up all anxious in the middle of the night, and thinking of those baby royal stories really creeped me out, in the same way ghost stories did at age 10. !!!

even the beatles had a coinstar machine in their living room (Crabbits), Wednesday, 24 July 2013 15:47 (twelve years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/frustrated-novelist-no-good-at-describing-hands,33239/

Number None, Wednesday, 24 July 2013 20:01 (twelve years ago)


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