"don't worry -- follow my dietary guidelines, and your weight will be back in the black by new years."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:50 (thirteen years ago)
"it's okay, you won't break the scale fifty-foot tall man standing twenty yards away from me."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Mistakes were made" is one of those universal captions that's surprisingly funny with about 80% of visual gags. Like the jet wearing stilettos upthread: "Mistakes were made."
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:00 (thirteen years ago)
"I feared the stiffness would lead to this. You have cooties."
― Øystein, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:19 (thirteen years ago)
(kinda gave up on that -- was trying to come up with some crap about a tween curse)
― Øystein, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:20 (thirteen years ago)
another caption i think is pretty funny with most of these is "jesus."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 22:54 (thirteen years ago)
For the sisyphus one:
"It helps if you think of it as 'leaning in.'"
I'm stuck on this one
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 19:44 (thirteen years ago)
"I've brought down bigger men than you, Picard!"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 19:51 (thirteen years ago)
"Everyone knows magic monkey paws thrive on ironic literal interpretations of euphemisms -- you should've just asked it to make you less fat."
(uh, that's basically the plot of a Chesterton short story, I think.)
― Øystein, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:53 (thirteen years ago)
Oh wait, it's by H.G. Wells. The Truth About Pyecraft
― Øystein, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:57 (thirteen years ago)
"wtf lol."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:58 (thirteen years ago)
"Please stop jumping on my wagon; you've already made the wheels break off"
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:03 (thirteen years ago)
^ ha, best so far.
― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:05 (thirteen years ago)
yeah that one's great
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:06 (thirteen years ago)
no rapturing!
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:25 (thirteen years ago)
"Good. Now cast a shadow."
― ..."Exaiaiai", thanks, I get it (Assurance T. Rex), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:33 (thirteen years ago)
"To be frank, everybody prefers the card tricks"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:38 (thirteen years ago)
"The power of Christ may compel you, but it's not a weight-loss plan."
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:48 (thirteen years ago)
"Seems to be a particularly light dose of the flew"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:08 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/03/p465/130603_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Friday, 31 May 2013 12:42 (thirteen years ago)
"Ah, there's a taxi"
― Mark G, Friday, 31 May 2013 12:43 (thirteen years ago)
"You'd think they'd put out that fire, what with that hydrant being right there."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:48 (thirteen years ago)
"Ha- ha!"
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:49 (thirteen years ago)
"That new Margaret Thatcher museum is really popular."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:51 (thirteen years ago)
"Say, isn't that one of those new Obamacare death panels?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Finally they're doing something about all those four-eyed glasses wearers."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:53 (thirteen years ago)
"Either we're both really short or the cartoonist can't draw perspective."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:54 (thirteen years ago)
"Looks like the Jimmy Savile Fan Club are going to pay the old pedo a visit."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:56 (thirteen years ago)
"So this is what happens backstage at a concert of Pink Floyd's 'The Wall'!"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:57 (thirteen years ago)
"That's where the New Yorker send all their cartoonists for training."
"I didn't know that auditions for 2013's X Factor had already started."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 12:59 (thirteen years ago)
"So there are TWO Satans? This changes everything!"
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Friday, 31 May 2013 13:01 (thirteen years ago)
"Oh look, a street theatre performance of the original ending to Star Trek V!"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 13:05 (thirteen years ago)
the "just lean in" finalist for the rock/stroller contest is really new yorkery.
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Friday, 31 May 2013 13:06 (thirteen years ago)
"wrong again jews"
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 31 May 2013 13:07 (thirteen years ago)
"So that's what they're doing with all the people who voted LibDem at the last election!"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 13:09 (thirteen years ago)
"A queue! Thank god I'm on the guest list"
― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Friday, 31 May 2013 13:10 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't care what you're saying," sighed Pauline Chick. "It's time to see Dr. Erickson again, Jack."
― Tuomas, Friday, 31 May 2013 13:14 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm starving, let's eat!"
― Z S, Friday, 31 May 2013 14:07 (thirteen years ago)
"mmmm tandoori"
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 31 May 2013 14:25 (thirteen years ago)
"why they gotta be black?"
― congratulations (n/a), Friday, 31 May 2013 14:26 (thirteen years ago)
"Oh, wow!! This must be Hell's Kitchen! Let me get my camera!"
― Poliopolice, Friday, 31 May 2013 14:45 (thirteen years ago)
Sipress Hell
― Poliopolice, Friday, 31 May 2013 14:47 (thirteen years ago)
"This place cooks their pasta perfectly al Dante."
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 31 May 2013 14:59 (thirteen years ago)
"Fuckin' hipsters."
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Friday, 31 May 2013 15:00 (thirteen years ago)
"This is exactly the kind of shit you'd see in a crappy New Yorker caption contest cartoon."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Friday, 31 May 2013 17:48 (thirteen years ago)
― Mark G, Friday, May 31, 2013 8:43 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
this one is great
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Friday, 31 May 2013 17:49 (thirteen years ago)
"As I said, that's why the manholes all smoke."
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 31 May 2013 18:01 (thirteen years ago)
"Looks like Travis was right, more or less."
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Friday, 31 May 2013 18:09 (thirteen years ago)
"I see they got the A train stop up again"
― i didn't even give much of a fuck that you were mod (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 1 June 2013 18:02 (thirteen years ago)