"It's just up here on the right. By the way, our religion forbids tipping, I hope that's OK?"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:14 (eleven years ago) link
"You got your kids into rock so they could get into rock school? How clever!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:16 (eleven years ago) link
"...So I said to my hairdresser, he's called Harry, by the way, I said, YOU BIG SISSY!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:19 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't make such a fuss, sissy."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:26 (eleven years ago) link
"I know a Limp Bizkit song about that"
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:36 (eleven years ago) link
"You must have done something really messed up, lady"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 12:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Mostly I enjoy the cardio."
― far too much asshole flesh (DJP), Monday, 13 May 2013 12:56 (eleven years ago) link
"I guess it's Tantalos's turn to cook tonight"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 13:03 (eleven years ago) link
This week's Jumble solution is "You think that's hard, try "RAISING" kids!"
― oxygenating our wombspace (abanana), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:02 (eleven years ago) link
"Wait'll you have two"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Priced out of Park Slope too, huh?"
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:45 (eleven years ago) link
"How's the giant cock & balls sculpture going?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
The three chonsen for the "giraffes in the ark" one:
*"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."*"Mistakes were made."*"I have trouble saying no."
OK, this means that you lot are not entering any of your captions on the site. These are rub to the point of boring.
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:35 (eleven years ago) link
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:36 (eleven years ago) link
ahem:
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/27/p465/130527_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:37 (eleven years ago) link
"I don't care if you did it with The Beatles in Rishikesh. Get on the scales."
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:59 (eleven years ago) link
"Ok, we'll start with lowering your cholesterol"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 12:08 (eleven years ago) link
"When I said 'jump on the scales' that's not what I meant."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:18 (eleven years ago) link
"You can come down now, Mr. Roth."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:19 (eleven years ago) link
"Well you've failed the drugs test. Because you are high."
― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:19 (eleven years ago) link
"I think I've figured out your problem - the artist drawing you has no sense of perspective."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
"Stop hanging around."
Cmon man these're nowhere like as good as mine be srs
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:22 (eleven years ago) link
"Alright Mr. Dowd, I guess I believe you. Now, could you please ask him to put you down?"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't worry, this is normal"
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:31 (eleven years ago) link
"And you say the only propellant is vindaloo?"
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:37 (eleven years ago) link
Many patients come to me complaining of gas, but yes, helium is definitely a first.
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:40 (eleven years ago) link
okay one of the choices for the giraffe cartoon is "Mistakes were made," which is killing me
― AMERICA IS ABOUT RESSLING (DJP), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:42 (eleven years ago) link
"don't worry -- follow my dietary guidelines, and your weight will be back in the black by new years."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:50 (eleven years ago) link
"it's okay, you won't break the scale fifty-foot tall man standing twenty yards away from me."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:52 (eleven years ago) link
"Mistakes were made" is one of those universal captions that's surprisingly funny with about 80% of visual gags. Like the jet wearing stilettos upthread: "Mistakes were made."
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:00 (eleven years ago) link
"I feared the stiffness would lead to this. You have cooties."
― Øystein, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:19 (eleven years ago) link
(kinda gave up on that -- was trying to come up with some crap about a tween curse)
― Øystein, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:20 (eleven years ago) link
another caption i think is pretty funny with most of these is "jesus."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 22:54 (eleven years ago) link
For the sisyphus one:
"It helps if you think of it as 'leaning in.'"
I'm stuck on this one
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 19:44 (eleven years ago) link
"I've brought down bigger men than you, Picard!"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 19:51 (eleven years ago) link
"Everyone knows magic monkey paws thrive on ironic literal interpretations of euphemisms -- you should've just asked it to make you less fat."
(uh, that's basically the plot of a Chesterton short story, I think.)
― Øystein, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:53 (eleven years ago) link
Oh wait, it's by H.G. Wells. The Truth About Pyecraft
― Øystein, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:57 (eleven years ago) link
"wtf lol."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 21:58 (eleven years ago) link
"Please stop jumping on my wagon; you've already made the wheels break off"
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:03 (eleven years ago) link
^ ha, best so far.
― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:05 (eleven years ago) link
yeah that one's great
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:06 (eleven years ago) link
no rapturing!
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 22:25 (eleven years ago) link
"Good. Now cast a shadow."
― ..."Exaiaiai", thanks, I get it (Assurance T. Rex), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:33 (eleven years ago) link
"To be frank, everybody prefers the card tricks"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:38 (eleven years ago) link
"The power of Christ may compel you, but it's not a weight-loss plan."
― Huston we got chicken lol (Phil D.), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 12:48 (eleven years ago) link
"Seems to be a particularly light dose of the flew"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Wednesday, 22 May 2013 13:08 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/06/03/p465/130603_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Friday, 31 May 2013 12:42 (eleven years ago) link
"Ah, there's a taxi"
― Mark G, Friday, 31 May 2013 12:43 (eleven years ago) link