"Think about it, we'll be the sole supplier in all of Waterworld!"
― lazulum, Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:28 (eleven years ago) link
"This mash up of 'Speed 2' and 'Ace Ventura' isn't working out."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:29 (eleven years ago) link
"The way my back is these days, ease of milking was paramount"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:34 (eleven years ago) link
"Naaah, everyone'sdoing alpacas now, we're way ahead of the curve on this"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:37 (eleven years ago) link
DJP's still wins, but "union" is great too
― Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 9 May 2013 14:39 (eleven years ago) link
"There are few things more humiliating than being held hostage by giraffes."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 9 May 2013 17:04 (eleven years ago) link
Venn Gott asked me if I vanted giraffes I told him, "nein!"
― Philip Nunez, Thursday, 9 May 2013 17:31 (eleven years ago) link
You remember the "two people in a large nest" one?
"It's only fair. He has a man cave.""I come here to brood.""After the kids moved out, the tree house was just too big."
Nothing about "bough house" or similar...
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 08:59 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/20/p465/130520_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:00 (eleven years ago) link
"Fancy a shag?"
― Mark G, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:01 (eleven years ago) link
"Where do you buy your nappies diapers?"
― Elvis was a hero to most but he never her (ledge), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:08 (eleven years ago) link
"mine's funner to watch on the way down"
― r|t|c, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:19 (eleven years ago) link
To avoid bbc staff"
― i gave ten pounds and all i got was a lousy * (darraghmac), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:25 (eleven years ago) link
Big balls mate, but you should see my Castor and Pollux - they're a right handful.
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:33 (eleven years ago) link
"Rock? Like Rock Hudson? How adorable."
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 09:51 (eleven years ago) link
"Sisyphus? You just met us"
― Koné 2013 (Noodle Vague), Monday, 13 May 2013 09:54 (eleven years ago) link
"Just because your baby's fat, it doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It's just karma."
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:11 (eleven years ago) link
"If you think pushing this rock is hard, wait until you get to the glass ceiling."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:11 (eleven years ago) link
"It's just up here on the right. By the way, our religion forbids tipping, I hope that's OK?"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:14 (eleven years ago) link
"You got your kids into rock so they could get into rock school? How clever!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:16 (eleven years ago) link
"...So I said to my hairdresser, he's called Harry, by the way, I said, YOU BIG SISSY!"
― Grampsy, Monday, 13 May 2013 10:19 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't make such a fuss, sissy."
― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:26 (eleven years ago) link
"I know a Limp Bizkit song about that"
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 13 May 2013 10:36 (eleven years ago) link
"You must have done something really messed up, lady"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 12:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Mostly I enjoy the cardio."
― far too much asshole flesh (DJP), Monday, 13 May 2013 12:56 (eleven years ago) link
"I guess it's Tantalos's turn to cook tonight"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 13 May 2013 13:03 (eleven years ago) link
This week's Jumble solution is "You think that's hard, try "RAISING" kids!"
― oxygenating our wombspace (abanana), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:02 (eleven years ago) link
"Wait'll you have two"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Priced out of Park Slope too, huh?"
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:45 (eleven years ago) link
"How's the giant cock & balls sculpture going?"
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 13 May 2013 14:49 (eleven years ago) link
The three chonsen for the "giraffes in the ark" one:
*"I wouldn't say 'favorite' animal."*"Mistakes were made."*"I have trouble saying no."
OK, this means that you lot are not entering any of your captions on the site. These are rub to the point of boring.
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:35 (eleven years ago) link
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:36 (eleven years ago) link
ahem:
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/05/27/p465/130527_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:37 (eleven years ago) link
"I don't care if you did it with The Beatles in Rishikesh. Get on the scales."
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 11:59 (eleven years ago) link
"Ok, we'll start with lowering your cholesterol"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 12:08 (eleven years ago) link
"When I said 'jump on the scales' that's not what I meant."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:18 (eleven years ago) link
"You can come down now, Mr. Roth."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:19 (eleven years ago) link
"Well you've failed the drugs test. Because you are high."
― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:19 (eleven years ago) link
"I think I've figured out your problem - the artist drawing you has no sense of perspective."
― go cray cray on my lobster soufflé (snoball), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
"Stop hanging around."
Cmon man these're nowhere like as good as mine be srs
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:22 (eleven years ago) link
"Alright Mr. Dowd, I guess I believe you. Now, could you please ask him to put you down?"
― my name is louis and i'm an acoleuthic (darraghmac), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't worry, this is normal"
― Mark G, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:31 (eleven years ago) link
"And you say the only propellant is vindaloo?"
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 14:37 (eleven years ago) link
Many patients come to me complaining of gas, but yes, helium is definitely a first.
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:40 (eleven years ago) link
okay one of the choices for the giraffe cartoon is "Mistakes were made," which is killing me
― AMERICA IS ABOUT RESSLING (DJP), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:42 (eleven years ago) link
"don't worry -- follow my dietary guidelines, and your weight will be back in the black by new years."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:50 (eleven years ago) link
"it's okay, you won't break the scale fifty-foot tall man standing twenty yards away from me."
― Michigan seems like a dream to me now (Treeship), Monday, 20 May 2013 21:52 (eleven years ago) link
"Mistakes were made" is one of those universal captions that's surprisingly funny with about 80% of visual gags. Like the jet wearing stilettos upthread: "Mistakes were made."
― Grampsy, Monday, 20 May 2013 22:00 (eleven years ago) link