God bless the goddamn Onion

although i get that this situation was an important instance to talk about the problem of domestic violence and so in that sense it was worth talking about. so yeah, i get what you are saying: their relationship shouldn't have just been another source of gossip. i still don't like the onion article though.

Niche Online Message Board Takes Issue With The Onion
The Internet

I LOL'd at this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooze-button-time-traveler-sets-coordinates-for-5,32339/

i don't quite get why ppl would be pissed about the chris brown story? i guess its one of those 'dark humor trivializes bad things' sort of reactions? sigh

I LOL'd at this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooze-button-time-traveler-sets-coordinates-for-5,32339/

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, May 7, 2013 9:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah liked that one, but again an example of the whole joke being in the headline, no further text needed

Nah I enjoyed the breakdown of the space-age time travel gear and traveler set against a mundane slacker groaning at what feels to him like instant time jumps. I enjoyed the body but yeah it would have worked as headline only too.

lol hurting's point reminds of this mad magazine parody of the onion roughly 12 years ago, odds are the last time mad magazine will make me laff -

http://www2.warnerbros.com/madmagazine/files/onthestands/ots_424/images/bunion.jpg

that reminds me, anyone know the story behind the turnover going on at av club?

i think a bunch of them are leaving together to start a new site, or something.

interesting, i knew the longtime av club editor either quit or was fired (it felt like fired) months ago and then hyden split for grantland then i noticed scott tobias left (that guy along w/ noah murray and donna bowman had a weirdly large influence on my film taste and education when i was in high school and they were in college), then rabin who fbow is their defining voice or whatever and i thought 'ok something is definitely going on'. wondered if it was just high visibility and new eic prompting mass consideration of other pastures or if there was something more organized going on.

the chris brown thing belongs in the daily mash

A friend in the know tells me that Phipps was let go and that the others then jumped ship to join him, in solidarity, on a new site he's starting.

I like that mad parody. It reminds me of my college weekly paper days, when we (the pretentious/artsy weekly) did a parody issue of the daily, and then the other weekly (sort of a ziney/gross-out thing) did a great parody of us, nailing in particular our jargon-laden reviews of obscure indie music.

That was like the only thing the Medium did that was funny

http://www.theonion.com/articles/24yearold-receives-sage-counsel-from-venerable-27y,32515/

actually has a punchline even

Think I'll put this in the American Politics thread as well.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/our-thoughts-go-out-to-oklahoma-says-congressman-m,32514/

lol @ punchline xp

http://www.theonion.com/articles/father-excitedly-tells-10yearold-son-about-new-vid,32518/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-derives-depressing-amount-of-pride-from-hometo,32510/

Man Derives Depressing Amount Of Pride From Hometown Burger Chain

it's funny because it's true.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/woman-who-cracked-3-separate-iphone-screens-expect,32538/

PHILADELPHIA—Samantha Curtis, a 29-year-old sales clerk who has reportedly cracked three separate iPhone screens over the years, is due to give birth to a baby boy this coming August, sources confirmed.

The expectant mother, who has accidentally damaged a trio of smartphone displays by either dropping her iPhone, allowing it to collide with other items in her purse, or losing control of it when absentmindedly spinning it on a tabletop, said she is “thrilled” to bring her new child into the world.

lmao

http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-fed-grapes-while-urging-press-conference-to,32540/

I read quite a bit (maybe all) of Infinite Jest believing Whataburger was a made-up restaurant.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/gay-kid-excited-to-be-made-fun-of-for-second-thing,32562/

accompanying picture selling the story
http://www.theonion.com/articles/kate-middleton-suffering-from-morning-sickness,32544/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ancient-egyptian-agriculture-revolved-around-3-sea,32604/

^ I think these kinds of Onion articles are kinda lame tbh

it has a punchline

yeah I saw it

http://www.theonion.com/articles/the-events-depicted-in-star-wars-actually-happened,32560/

Yes, it is true that I grew up a loner, tinkering in the garage, wishing I could escape the moisture farm outside of Modesto, California, where my only real friend was my kindly Aunt Beru. Yes, it is also true that all I wanted to do was get off that farm and join the Academy at USC Film School like my best friend Wedge had done the year before. And, sadly, it is true that one day I left the homestead to look for some missing droids and when I returned, my Aunt Beru was dead—killed by stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire.

All of those events actually happened to me. And I guess making the Star Wars movies really helped me get my feelings about that stuff off of my chest.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/buzzfeed-writer-resigns-in-disgrace-after-plagiari,32616/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/19-tweets-from-the-audubon-societybarack-obama-twi,32625/

INTERESTING - http://blogs.wsj.com/digits/2013/05/30/music-reviewer-pitchfork-to-launch-film-site/

ugh! if you want some sort of "new" approach to film crit ("like pitchfork" lol) why would you grab a bunch of crix from the most average and generic mass appeal site ever? and when's the last time p4k's actually posted a scathing review?

lol the most mass appeal site ever right

maybe this will finally get the AVC to just shut down their awful film coverage and meanwhile drop all the other coverage and convert to a full-time TV episode review site

The Onion AV Club presents Random Roles

maybe this will finally get the AVC to just shut down their awful film coverage and meanwhile drop all the other coverage and convert to a full-time TV episode review site

― ty based gay dead computer god (zachlyon), Thursday, May 30, 2013 9:32 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

god their tv stuff is so bad yet so irresistible sometimes after watching a show, just as a thing to do that's a mild extension of that show

Haha, yes, after I watch even the stupidest piece of genre TV, I cannot wait to find out, "How did Donna Bowman get 600 words out of this?" David Sims's hate-watching of The Following is hilarious, though.

i don't think their TV coverage is any good, but it's the only regular feature anyone puts any stock in and the only reviews the site itself seems to care about. when a standard episode of a middling tv show none of their readers watches gets 4x the words as every single album or film review, the album and film review sections start to appear a little token

in actuality it should all be shut down urrrrrggggghhhhh

I used to read the TV capsules after an episode, thinking I'd gleam some trivia or a plot point I missed, but most of the time, they don't even know what the hell is going on.

Random Observations
• Hawkeye seems so bothered by the chicken that by the end of the episode, he imagines it's a crying baby. Who knew the good doctor was so paranoid about poultry?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-on-cusp-of-having-fun-remembers-every-single-o,32632/

That made me want to cry for the rest of my life

ugh yeah pretty much

http://www.theonion.com/articles/after-careful-deliberation-baby-goes-with-homosexu,32627/

A little long, but worth it for getting to “If I wake up one day and don’t want to be gay anymore, then I can just switch to being heterosexual, easy as that.”

i get that it's trying to satirize the idea that homosexuality is a choice but on the other hand, "no one would EVER choose to be GAY amirite? HI 5 BRO" haha go fuck yourself

http://www.theonion.com/articles/oh-shit-i-totally-forgot-that-happens,32673/

should probably mention massive GoT spoilers there

While the barbeque’s host chatted with Platt about how excited he was to see the upcoming Superman movie, sources confirmed that all Platt could think about was the fact that his recently married sister was coming to town next weekend and was supposed to stay with him, which reminded him that he needed to clean his apartment, which reminded him he needed to buy extra bedding for his sister to sleep on, which reminded him that he had to make an after-work trip to Bed Bath & Beyond, which reminded him that he would be tired after work and wouldn’t want to go to Bed Bath & Beyond, which reminded him that he also needed to go to the grocery store because his sister would think he’s irresponsible if she saw his empty refrigerator, which reminded him that he and his sister aren’t as close as he’d like, which reminded him that his parents already had a house and two cars by the time they were his age, which reminded him that he’s been with his girlfriend for over five years and that while everything was going fairly well, he felt overwhelmed by the prospect of marriage and the mounting pressure to propose.

“Yeah, Man Of Steel looks good,” said a smiling Platt, who was only thinking about how he graduated from college over 10 years ago and still owed $86,000 in student loans. “Can’t wait to see it.”

:/