Craigslist hilarity

http://newyork.craigslist.org/search/?areaID=3&subAreaID=&query=NICELY+RENOVATED+ROOM+IN+SHARED+3BED&catAbb=hhh

it looks like they keep spamming the ad with a random image every time (to avoid getting flagged i'd bet)

Oh my god.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/ofc/3774684960.html

Look if you people aren't going to click on that you have no idea.

Well, did you?

ha :)

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Emoticons
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This is the greatest thing ever

For posterity:

Administrative assistant (New York)

Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mr Debras. Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Sotheby's Inc. requires a Skilled and dedicated Administrative Assistant, Office Executive and Receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to identify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and helping them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft Office. Position opens to students. Send in your updated resume.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Copy and paste the job description above in the space provided for it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:02 PM):‎ Did you get that?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:03 PM):‎ okay I will do it now

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:04 PM):‎ Compensation: $15-$20/Hr + Attractive Wages

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:07 PM):‎ I am trying to copy and paste the information

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Okay

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:09 PM):‎ Let me know when you are done with that

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:10 PM):‎ I'm having problems copying and pasting the info. I try to highlighted adn then go to edit and click copy. can you help me please?

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

Sotheby's Inc. required a skilled and dedicated administrative assistant, office executive and receptionist for its New York office. Applicant would be coordinating, planning and supporting daily operational and administrative functions. Scheduling meetings, coordinating travel and managing all essentials tasks. We require someone who is highly focused and able to indentify goals and priorities and resolve issues in initial stages. Highly skilled in greeting guests with a positive attitude and help them with their needs. Should be proficient in Microsoft office. Position open to students. Send in your resume.

Emoticons
Format

Emoticons
Format

Emoticons
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Emoticons
Format
Location: New York
Compensation: $16-$20/hr
Telecommuting is ok.
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
OK to highlight this job opening for persons with disabilities
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Phone calls about this job are ok.
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:11 PM):‎ Just click and drag the content I sent to you from our conversation menu and as soon as the job description i sent to you has been highlighted press "control + c" or right click and click on copy

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ Hope am clear?

mejia.saima (Apr 29 2:12 PM):‎ is there an easier way to do it

Mrs. Debra Delman (Apr 29 2:13 PM):‎ Am afraid there isnt. Unless you have to type it out

― 'scuse me while i make the sky cum (k3vin k.), Monday, April 29, 2013 11:33 PM (3 minutes ago)

who is going to subtitle this over that scene from "downfall"?

hahahahah

Who would do better justice to "Emoticons/Format", Nitzer Ebb or Kraftwerk?

'is there an easier way to do it'

lolololll

lol and sigh at the lack of copy+paste wisdom

Emoticons, format

it looks like she really does type the whole thing out at the end, there are a number of differences

best posting yet. my god

i couldn't help but google that name, and i really hope this is the same person:
https://twitter.com/_Saaymv_

saying prayers tonight that steve reich will adapt this

"Mejia, this is your replacement. Show him/her where the bathrooms are but DON'T do any training."

To chili: Probably not, as that person is in Mexico.

saying prayers tonight that steve reich will adapt this

haha was just coming to say this was like a gertrude stein poem

there's no "debra delman" at sothebys, as far as i can tell

The fact it hasnt disappeared has me wondering.

If it's all a joke I will still love it forever for Emoticons Format.

It's gone now ;_;

it's realy sad, there wasn't an easier way to do it

It is here, in our hearts.

and now, on our ladies t-shirts:

http://www.zazzle.com/womens_t_shirt_emoticons_format-235505636425062841

also on iPad Mini cases:

http://www.zazzle.com/ipad_mini_case_emoticons_format-256377674620570418

(fyi you can turn that t-shirt into a men's shirt)

trying too hard

Rare intentional hilarity:

http://images.craigslist.org/3Kf3Fc3H45I15F15J4d4rceef254185661528.jpg

$700 / 184ft² - Kingdom of finite space (52nd street and 4th ave)

The room we're offering is on the first floor and it is 183.99 square feet of mind blowing shelter and hope/dream containment. It has two windows facing north and looking out to 52nd street. I've included a quick and dirty floor plan so you may grok all that is this room. Sorry for the weird picture artifacts, we promise the room does not suffer from temporal prismatic warps.

ILX MASCOT

http://newyork.craigslist.org/lgi/zip/3792186113.html

Before Reading Ahead PLEASE only Serious inquiries only, do not Contact me if you have no knowledge of how to take care of a horse, or do not have adequate land for her to roam... THANK YOU

This is Peggy, Our Miniature Horse and I am Looking for a good home to give her to, she's a beautiful 3 year old mini, She is friendly and interact well with people. For this reason we bought her as a family pets, whoever she is still a horse, and because of my Job as an FDNY firefighter I do not have the time to take proper care of her, having an Infant in the house is making it hard for my wife to give the proper attention Peggy needs...

My name is TROY- (516) 369-5580
Being I may not pick up due to work, please feel free to TEXT, as I will get back ASAP... Thank you

do not contact me if you have no knowledge of how to take care of a horse, or do not have adequate land for her to roam

um

his horse is in his kitchen. does this qualify as adequate land for her to roam or

that is probably my favorite detail/juxtaposition

maybe the photo is why he's giving it away, wife is just like YES THE HORSE IS IN THE KITCHEN WHY BECAUSE FUCK YOU AND YOUR HORSE i'M TAKING CARE OF THE BABY

a little bummed that somebody came around to making a single-serving tumblr about awful nyc roommate ads before i did, although i've always been more about the lunatics themselves than the shitty pictures of their $1200 dungeons in "south park slope" anyway

cf. http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/roo/3785877687.html

This is my home. It's fully furnished & decorated, no additions. Camp site logic - leave no trace. Don't leave personal items in it or take items to your personal space. I don't want to go looking for cups & utensils in your room. Kill it you fill it. Not yours, don't eat it.

No dishes in the sink - EVER: We have a dishwasher. If it is clean, empty it. If it is not, put your dish in it.

Quiet Weeknights: No overnight guests on weekdays. If you are the kind to cook midnight mac n cheese while stumbling in after a night on the town in the middle of the week, it's not going to work.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/roo/3781297439.html

We are two very laid back bros in need of a new roommate for our 3 bedroom, cozy but very nice and stylish apartment in amazing South Williamsburg (location, location, location, right?).

also includes a plug for his (incredibly dubiously-named) synthpop band S3NSUAL HARASSMENT

i hope a total asshole moves in.

xpost

the above statement can apply to both postings, i guess.

also includes a plug for his (incredibly dubiously-named) synthpop band S3NSUAL HARASSMENT

― scream blahula scream (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, May 8, 2013 7:29 PM (36 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Might be a dubious name, but Sexual Harassment were a great band. I hope S3nsv4l Harassment are a lounge covers act of same.

a little bummed that somebody came around to making a single-serving tumblr about awful nyc roommate ads before i did

link?

http://theworstroom.tumblr.com

ha oh man.

Hey hey, are you a free-wheeling, happy-go-lucky, creative class, 20-something person who loves the show New Girl, playing frisbee in the park, and being within a 1-block radius from at least 2 Citibike stations? (...) Did we mention how much we're all obsessed with the show New Girl (actually only one is...)? We even have a douchebag jar for those who leave dishes in the sink.
(...) We're really looking for a cool, sociable person who fits all of our unique personality niches

maybe i just loathe "new girl" way more than most people

"Looking like Zooey D is a plus!"

where the fuck do these people find each other

craigslist, i think

touche