Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

yeah it doesn't paint the person in the best light, but it doesn't really change your options! either a) say ok, forget this nitpicky crazy person or b) chalk it up to generalized defense measures and msg them anyway

xp2hoos

i actually have a short lunch date tmr (not from okc!), tips from fellow lonely singles to hide the die-alone vibes + pheromones that i am sure to be giving off

i think i'll go roll around on a pile of wet grass beforehand or something

do 12 pushups 30 mins before

j/k i have no clue. brush your teeth, have fun!

kill a deer and eat its liver

well i will probably brush my teeth after i eat the liver. but ty i will try to have fun

however you take the power of the deer, it's all cool

xps wait - so if i put up a profile discussing how much i'm a shut-in and hate leaving the house for any reason that's probably bad right

sounds hott to me

I don't mind at all when people list what traits they prefer, but when the language is like "you need to do x and be y", it just makes me think I'm applying for a job. And the funniest part about the overly demanding profiles I've seen is that they often list traits that everyone is looking for, like being confident, being honest, not being flaky. I dunno, I tend to get a pretty good sense of what someone is looking for based on what they've said about themselves, kind of what goole said.

when the language is like "you need to do x and be y", it just makes me think I'm applying for a job.

this is what gets at me, i think. like, i'm looking to get to know somebody i enjoy spending time with, not be an exemplar of your preexisting checklist.

Wow, speaking of, here's a guy who posted videos of movie stars and then said You should message me if: You are as slender and pretty as these women. ..."All these women would meet this weight formula: For every inch over five feet, add 2 to 3lbs to 100lbs."

Profile is full of smirking selfies. Just wow.

gl dayo! Whatever happens, you will not be that guy, so it's probably in the bag!

thank you io, i will try not to be that guy

http://gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net/8019B6/data.tumblr.com/635c5f231fa61cfb8d7af81f3b349d93/tumblr_mlvfmlB7DA1qisy2wo1_500.png

don't be this guy either

do they sell fleshlights shaped like a rolled-up copy of the constitution yet?

Or a gun barrel.

Hey i got druno and wanted to say everaone here should go 100% easier on every profile including themselves cos ppl surpsrise u, esprcilakly by ilx standards and like ilu u all

dmac do u have any tips for my date

Refresh me on details and ill do my best

do u have any tips on how to project confidence, suaveness & precision

No

Brush yr teeth tho

Tip #1 is if u really are in the game to spend srs amounts of yr life with a person then act like dayo 1st and prospective date gu_ 2nd
If u are not in that game i have only one piece of advice: get into that game

ps i have mad faith in the dayo i know from ilx, try that persona

should i adopt a schtick??

No!

Srs this shit is most obv to me. No schtick.

Unless you fancy keeping this schtico up forevwr, else what poin?

well the secret was that mordy is my date

i have a tailored jacket, link plz?

lol "a well fitting blazer" is one of my 6 things :-/

I updated my location to Brooklyn while I am here and now the creepiest dudes in NYC are messaging me. Guess its not just a Denver issue.

"Christian Mingle" sounds like the name of a holy snack mix

My 1870s transatlantic heiress alter ego seems to have worked? Hm.

check for icebergs

lol noted.

tbf i thik i was free associating a bit but climatic caution = good idea

Icebergs are poor dining companions, and you can't take them to the beach in July.

u can take the iceberg to the beach but u can lettuce inn

I forgotall my advice for dayo and my head hurts

I got three matches on tinder today what do I do

Only promising correspondent in weeks is a too-old-for-me guy who lives out of state. He did give me a complimet that was also an echo & the bunnymen reference.

Didn't take the wise advice on here to dump the game-player when I shoulda. I finally went nuclear on him last week.

Ha! Further ok stupid adventures: I was thinking of meeting up with this guy who seemed pretty into me, but Iooked at his answers and he said that even "slight overweight" was a dealbreaker, with an added obnoxious comment that "keep in mind, overweight is over 25bmi."

I was like, "well, guess date's off, cuz my bmi is 31. Just fyi bmi is a general indicator of possible overweight & it's also nagl to couch your aesthetic preferences in psuedoscience" <-paraphrase. Hope dude sucks on that bitter pill for a minute. Dumbass.

ha! my biggest prob has been nobody in dating range + filtering out the occasional XKCD fan. think this stupid site is probably not much use to me :( sigggggggh

sometimes being a mod pays off:

From weatherdcowboy to flagger:
Well thank you for my English lesson,i see you have no humor inside you and even though you may think i am dumb.I made a living being a full time cowboy in the rodeo and that's a life you could never imagine or ever understand and i also received an education ,and i have no masters degree but i also feed america that's right that piece of beef you eat may have just come off my ranch.BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S NOT EDUCATED PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT MAKE THE WORLD,I HAVE AN EDUCATION ALSO BUT I WOULD TAKE A SIMPLE COUNTRY GAL OVER YOUR SMART ASS ANY DAY OF THE WEEK AND TWICE ON SUNDAY. THIS COUNTRY IS BROKE BUT YOU OUT OF ALL BETTER HOPE IT GETS BETTER BECAUSE THAT MEAT YOU BUY IN THE STORE DOES'NT GROW THERE .I CAN MAKE A LIVING WHEN YOU CAN'T WHEN THIS COUNTRY FAILS.

SO IT'S ALL THE BEST TO YOU JUDGE YOU WILL CERTAINLY NEED IT. SMOKIN SUGAR SHANE ALAN.MY PRO RIDING NAME.

whaaat?

Emily, are you not in the UK? Maybe I've got my lower case emilyss mixed up.

i think you do

Just realized that I answered "for someone in a committed relationship, is masturbation infidelity?" with "Yes." Oops, wtf.

emil.y != emilys.

Oops.
I was hoping I didn't so that I could imagine there existed a doggie-ridin', beef-slappin' British good ol' boy.