UK Watercooler 32: Fall Into The Meaning Gap

Hello, new world economic collapse that is going to make the Great Depression look like a tiny recession. :-(

We're all fucked, let's dance on the backs of the unemployed. Oh wait, that's me in two weeks. Even more fucked. Pointless, pointless, pointless.

I'm sorry, I don't know what's got into me today.

Well, I do know. But I shouldn't take it out on this thead. :-(

My head's gone to pieces and my concentration is gone. I can't think how to do any of the things I need to do.

I am stupid, I should know by now, a headache with no reason that doesn't respond to any of the usual things is a sign that a vicious depression is in the post. :-(

And then the simplest things become impossible. Except I don't have to do simple things, I have to do quite complex caluculations that require holding several concepts in the head simultaneously, and my mind has turned to cream of wheat.

This is the catch 22 of depression - when you are most depressed, and feel most isolated, it's when you need other people the most. But it's when you are most depressed that you are at your most scary, and down-dragging, and other people are most nervous of being around you. Which only reinforces the isolation, and therefore the depression in a horrible cyclical spiral.

This is just awful.

going through exactly the same thing at the moment, my friend asked me to go around their's tomorrow night to cheer me up but I've had to decline because what's the point I'll just be mopey scary downey monster, and nobody needs that on a friday night.

feel y pain kate, heads up.

Awww dude, it'll be okay. If you can't do any more today then just go home and relax, it's not like they're clock-counting.

Thanks, Ste. It's still nice to be asked, though, isn't it? Right now I feel like a used car salesman trying to pawn off faulty goods if I even ask anyone to be around me.

It's not like I get to go home anyway. I have to go and review this show which I now wish I hadn't agreed to. But at least Diamanda Galas is angry shouting mad woman of angst and stuff so I don't have to be all "yay, life" and can sit and brood if I fancy.

Being reviled by the rest of ILX outside this thread, it is entirely possible, is a very good sign.

There is nothing like real problems in life to give you a bit of perspective on depression. But then again, Lost hasn't gone on hiatus yet.

There is nothing like real problems in life to give you a bit of perspective on depression.

Not necessarily true. "Real problems" can actually reinforce and deepen depression.

Though I suppose I'll find out if when this job ends, if I don't find another one, and my house gets reposessed and I end up a homeless bag lady on the street.

Well, at least I managed to turn my mind from cream of wheat into a finely tuned mathematical machine long enough to do one extremely complicated thing. Now I think I'm done for the day.

Have a good long weekend, everybody.

And you!

I've done mine own helicopter for my band:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2002/2360955330_f8decb90d7.jpg

How was everyone over Easter? Did you enjoy all that snow?

I spend the whole weekend sick in bed with the flu. :-(

Morning all, sorry to hear about the flu, I have learnt a valuable lesson about not trying to go drink for drink with my cousin and his wife.

Pls to produce stickers of the band logo, I want one for my laptop.

They are French, non? That way madness lies.

I spent most of the weekend in bed, watching videos. I watched Elizabeth, Chariots of Fire and, erm, Shaun of the Dead. Someone left out the wonderfully salient fact that my ex was not just playing a zombie but A HOMELESS STREET PERSON ZOMBIE!!! Ah, there is a god...

x-post, we are doing badges first, but I've got it as my wallpaper, against a 50% grey background, so it looks like it is flying.

No they are scousers.

I've started a thread about Chariots of Fire. Will I regret this?

What date did we say for next walking? I should get planning.

Also What to do in Oslo/Drammen when you are there.

12th April. The Saturday after my birthday.

Ask FMM for what to do in Oslo, she goes there a lot and knows lots of good stuff.

...or maybe not! Maybe no one remembers it.

Jazzmaster frenzy (sort of):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFz79SBnuk8

(dutch-indonesian beat group from 1963 play the theme to "the third man" on multiple jazzmasters! Great!)

Maybe not one fort his walk as a bit close to london and I think we wanted further into the chilterns but we should visit the Royal Standard of England, Britain's oldest pub, in Beaconsfield at some point.

I think I was reading about that last night - was it in the Thames book?

Multiple Jazzmasters... ooh...

That was a zither, not a jag! You mean this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNeUuQegG5Y&feature=related

OOPS!! Yes.

Hello! I spent my Easter shivering in a tent in Snowdonia - although there wasn't actually much snow, not at our altitude.

No, we got all the snow in London. One minute sun, the next minute HAIL!!! It was almost biblical at times. Proper old blizzard for a while yesterday.

We had hail, and rain, and sleet; but nothing that settled on the ground.

I have heard gossip from the Dream Machine already!

Pash, if you're here, please can you change Ian Liddell to Eric Liddell on the Chariots of Fire poll? Conflating actors and their characters again, duh. Thanks.

Poll text can't be changed, unfortunately, Kate. Sorry!

Damn. That will teach me to start polls before I've had my tea.

Oh! I did know, I had just forgotten. I can't believe I put off seeing that film for so long for such a stupid reason.

Hmm, I am circling in on Kings sutton for birthday walking. Disused railway, castle, canal, river swere, Spacerock harvesters.

Spacerock harvesters? Not in Rugby?

http://www.multimap.com/maps/?hloc=GB|Beaconsfield#t=l&map=52.00251,-1.35666|15|8&loc=GB:51.76301:-0.74134:14|wendover|Wendover,

copy paste that, I think.

Ah, I did actually just googlemap it, and it looks acceptable. Near Northampton, so we might get the NH1 crew down.

I should do some work. Boss just came over and asked me how it was going, apparently I've got to start training someone else to use it tomorrow. I very nearly laughed at him. Um. I'm going to train someone to use a non-existent report which hasn't been finished because everyone else around here has been dragging their feet about giving me the information I require? Oh do fuck off. I'd much rather google pictures of Chariots of Fire.

...but first some more tea.

Would it be ridiculous to go off to Oxford on Thursday to see the Carruthers? Oxford peoples, what do you think?

I am trying to persuade him that he should volunteer to be an astronaut for the European Union Space Programme, since they are recruiting at the moment. Spacerock in outer space, it is clearly the way forward.

Because there was no mint cake, I had to have carrot cake at the whole food curry in a bun place. Just FYI, whole food healthy good for you organic carrot cake is, um, not really very nice.

whoa, love that helicopter pic kate.

Yeh, good helicopter, almost an Eschercopter!

The carrot cake may not be as nice as real cake, but at least it won't give you a sugar come-down later . . . or will it?

Thank you! Looks like the band like it, too.

I have still got sugar comedown from cake. Or perhaps that is the killer cold coming back to tell me to lie down again. The cure for this, as always, is more tea.

OK, I'm going to delete the full-length photo from OKC. Now I've got creepy French dudes sending me strange messages about my "curves". HALP.

Oh, today is awful. Sigh. I feel really unwell, plus my boss just sent me an email telling me that everyone could hear my music and to turn it down. You need to send me an email to say that? Weirdo.

I am counting down the days until I am out of this place.

I'm talking to myself, too. This place makes me bonkers, it's official. 4 days at home, even in bed sick, and I started to turn back into a human being. 6 hours here and I'm ready to beat my head against the desk.

Hey all. Last Fm seems to be broken.