why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?

cancer is a little detail and they only share those when they're intimate

It takes a cancer bombshell to realize that your mansion isn't what matters. I think we can all relate.

would've been more powerful if she died because when he needed a heart transplant she secretly traded hearts with him and it was his heart that gave out in the end and now he has to live with hers think about it

would've been more powerful if someone lost an eye due to the thrown chopsticks

Ha, actually I first read this because it was posted by a 30 year old guy awaiting a heart transplant. He has his friends list in a stranglehold with these crazy, mawkish stories because no one wants to be that asshole who robs him of whatever weird satisfaction he gets out of them. He prefaced it with something about how he cried so hard & how if he ever had a wife he would treat her like a queen. 0_0

this guy should have just waited it out i guess and he would have had a soft landing w/jane. sad story all around.

yeah the moral of this story is don't divorce your wife for your mistress even if u are in an unhappy marriage because your wife might die and boy will u feel dumb for missing out on that golden ticket.

yeah, if dummy had just stuck around a little longer he could have had his cake and ate it too

Jane would never have lied to him about cancer.

I really want to post a response along these lines in reply to the facebook post (someone i haven't seen since hs who's now a lowlevel manager at some multilevel marketing door-to-door thing) but i just... can't.

What sticks in my mind: She threw away the [theretofore unmentioned ]chopsticks and shouted at me.

apparently this thing appeared around malaysia initially (hence the chopsticks). the sensibility actually does feel very straits chinese. http://www.snopes.com/glurge/carry.asp

but you'd think whoever translated it would've changed the chopsticks to something more american, like a foot massager

was circulated in english even then as according to snopes -- remember the area is former british colonies.

i just wanted to bring the foot massager back

I especially liked that she didn't just throw the chopsticks, she threw them away.

Throwing away the foot massager at dinner would vastly improve the story.

And when he got home and found his dead wife, he cursed God, but Jesus said, no, it's cool, she was going to throw away your foot massager.

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/164907_579195978768084_1456807172_n.png

If I were a LAWSUIT I'd be a SEXUAL HARASSMENT CASE so I could SEXUALLY HARASS YOU.

If I were a tool I'd be a hammer so I could smash you to a pulp

if i were a Facebook story i'd be one about a foot massager so you could get cancer from lost children

If I were a carpenter...AND YOUUUUU WERE A LAAAAADY

Sometimes they are funny.

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/s480x480/547951_227602934047073_928494859_n.jpg

That's not funny, that's just gross.

it's kinda funny

http://stumbles.org.uk/john/20120614_Native_Nutrition_Nonsense/nnn.jpg

wow a native american quote attributed to an actual person, and attached to an actual photo of that person

wow the url is "native nutrition nonsense"

thats not a url

it's a network. a native nutrition network.

the url *includes the phrase* "native nutrition nonsense" obv

mattsplaining

haha

"thats not a url" YOU DONT SAY

it's a network. a native nutrition network.

― The description of my page is: Gargoyles Swimsuit Special (Matt P)

srsly amazing post

http://awesomelyluvvie.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/HeadShake.gif

just a plea for accuracy in our words on "why do i hate that artist thing that people keep posting on my facebook so much? why am i such a jerk?"

"its a network. a native nutrition network."

that makes it even weirder that it says "native nutrition nonsense" in the url imo

but yeah that is the first such meme i have EVER seen with an attributed quote and matching photo instead of some drawing or just a randomly attached e curtis photo of a sioux chief

haha progress!

"Accidental Racist" has truly achieved its goal.

the plight of the native american has truly ended today

lol xp

trail of tears now trail of smiles

It say Native Nutrition Nonsense because it was taken from another site and re-hosted for a page that appears to be offended by the existence of American Indians or something.
http://stumbles.org.uk/john/20120614_Native_Nutrition_Nonsense/

just a uk guy with some opinions about native americans

BE INFORMED MAKE SURE YOUR CHILDREN KNOW THE EFFECTS

Molly has been a common drug lately & everyone is trying it. Pop 1 and your sweating? Let me explain why your sweating: Molly is a drug made up of cocaine, crack, ecstasy, meth & bath salt. It slows your heart rate 10x the normal limit & reeks havoc on your immune system with just one pill. Take two & it damages your brain without you even being able realize it. It becomes an addiction & soon a cry for help. By the fifth one you take, it starts killing your organs & preventing them from functioning as normal. It increases your chance of stroke & heart attack and can cause your lungs to stop functioning all together! It is a very powerful & VERY DANGEROUS drug! More harmful than crack itself. Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug. Spread the word to save lives of young people across the country! Show them the truth so they can make an informed & smart decision if they're ever offered it.

Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug. Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug. Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug. Many rappers are promoting it to involve young people in the manufacturing, selling, and usage of the drug.

k am i stupid i thought molly was just ecstasy?

Molly is a drug made up of cocaine, crack, ecstasy, meth & bath salt.

love this eight-year-old's idea of what a really popular/dangerous drug would be like, reminds me of when i was a kid during the gulf war and somehow got convinced that a SCUD missle was a combination nuclear, chemical, biological, AND hydrogen bomb weapon.

let me explain why your sweating

sweatsplainin'