God bless the goddamn Onion

dying

ow that one hurts

http://www.theonion.com/articles/this-is-a-tragedydoes-it-really-matter-exactly-how,32076/

would be good if it didn't make the same point ten times, which I know it fits the guy being satirized, buy yknow brevity is the soul of wit well next to the soul of wit actually. Works best w headlines; "Marilyn Manson Now Going Door To Door Shocking People" purrfecto

yeah but the whole Desert Ashes item indeed rools, not just the headline.

Study: Majority Of Americans Not Informed Enough To Stereotype Chechens

Next level IMO:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-no-news-breaking,32113/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-still-nothing,32114/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-has-the-word-breaking-lost-all-its-meanin,32115/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-can-anyone-ever-truly-know-anything-what,32116/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-we-might-be-doing-a-bad-job,32118/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-do-you-think-were-doing-a-good-job,32119/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/breaking-were-doing-a-bad-job,32120/

Those are great.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/taylor-swift-now-dating-watertown-boat,32161/

so on point:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/shocked-dzhokar-tsarnaev-always-thought-classmates,32158/

oh man vicious:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/romney-drops-by-to-see-how-downandout-family-he-me,32185/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/islamic-extremist-gives-up-on-radicalizing-dimwitt,32189/

The title is pretty much all of it.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-man-now-checks-inside-boat-in-driveway-every,32186/

Is this also the thread for talking about Onion TV shows?

I just watched the pilot of Onion News Empire on Amazon Prime and thought it was pretty solid, didn't blow me away, but a lot of good laugh lines skewering both the news and the genre of the newsroom drama. Was hard not to think about the fact that the criticism of Big Corporate Media was being funded by a Big Corporate something else that is trying to compete with Big Corporate Media, and that took a little of the bite out of it for me.

we kind of use this thread for onion tv shows fyi Cloudy drink kills frog: the Onion's "Sex House"

that's for their web shorts more tho. i think other showlike things (like the half hour ifc dealie) deserve their own thread?

http://www.theonion.com/articles/article-about-one-world-trade-center-building-incl,32262/

Yes

Dick Cheney Vice Presidential Library Opens In Pitch-Dark, Sulfurous Underground Cave

Writing anything beyond the headline was unnecessary (they used to leave things that way more often) but this is still funny:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/rescue-chip-sent-in-to-save-broken-tostito-submerg,32292/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=standard-post:headline:default

http://www.theonion.com/articles/secretary-of-interior-takes-presidential-oath-of-o,32264/

http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/onion-mocks-syrian-electronic-army-after-twitter-hack

damn they are the coldest

as noted on the other thread, pretty brutal

Wow.

which other thread xp?

rolling middle east 2013 thread I guess

ty

http://www.theonion.com/articles/heartbroken-chris-brown-always-thought-rihanna-was,32340

Love the Lindsay Lohan one linked to that page

man, onion going dark with some of these

my feminist/anti-racist radical outlier friends are very very very pissed about that Chris Brown story

they would though

true

i don't like that chris brown story. in addition to the possible offensiveness it is just uninspired and lame.

the incessant focus on chris brown and relative lack of attention given to olde worlde wite culture heroes with similar domestic violence proclicvities is racially dubious as has been said elsewhere, but that doesn't mean the onion should refrain from clowning him

lol the onion

i mean... ugh the onion :(

i don't understand the point of that joke except "lol this awful thing happened."

yeah not funny at all imo, reads like something any hack could come up with

i don't understand the point of that joke except "lol this awful thing happened."

― Treeship, Wednesday, May 8, 2013 12:26 AM (9 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the joke is that the media reports on the status of chris brown and rihanna's relationship like it's any other celebrity couple instead of a sad and terrifying thing, so the Onion wrote a satirical article with that same tone

It's also a take on the old "this is the woman I knew I'd spend the rest of my life with" thing.

umm... duh. but to matt, i don't think the media treated their relationship like any other relationship so that satire is sort of irrelevant. like, if anything i was uncomfortable with the critiques of rihanna's decision to get back with brown because they seemed to come more from a place of victim blaming rather than concern ("can you believe it??" etc). in general i just wish that celebrity gossip wasn't a thing

although i get that this situation was an important instance to talk about the problem of domestic violence and so in that sense it was worth talking about. so yeah, i get what you are saying: their relationship shouldn't have just been another source of gossip. i still don't like the onion article though.

Niche Online Message Board Takes Issue With The Onion
The Internet

I LOL'd at this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooze-button-time-traveler-sets-coordinates-for-5,32339/

i don't quite get why ppl would be pissed about the chris brown story? i guess its one of those 'dark humor trivializes bad things' sort of reactions? sigh

I LOL'd at this

http://www.theonion.com/articles/snooze-button-time-traveler-sets-coordinates-for-5,32339/

― Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Tuesday, May 7, 2013 9:11 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah liked that one, but again an example of the whole joke being in the headline, no further text needed

Nah I enjoyed the breakdown of the space-age time travel gear and traveler set against a mundane slacker groaning at what feels to him like instant time jumps. I enjoyed the body but yeah it would have worked as headline only too.

lol hurting's point reminds of this mad magazine parody of the onion roughly 12 years ago, odds are the last time mad magazine will make me laff -

http://www2.warnerbros.com/madmagazine/files/onthestands/ots_424/images/bunion.jpg

that reminds me, anyone know the story behind the turnover going on at av club?