"It feels like my soul is pecking at my shell, yearning to be rid of these mortal trappings."
― Øystein, Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:28 (eleven years ago) link
"I was told you were the one to see to help me with my fear of frying pans."
― EZ Snappin, Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:31 (eleven years ago) link
"my last therapist was a vienna sausage but he had some weird ideas about my mom."
― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:37 (eleven years ago) link
"I don't care whether someone is white, brown or green; mixing with ham is an abomination against God."
― Øystein, Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:38 (eleven years ago) link
"I don't think I have daddy-issues just because I look at cocks on the internet."
― Øystein, Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
this is a terrible cartoon"That's when I realized I don't need to be put together again, I need to get in touch with who I am""There's got to be more to life than just breakfast""It all started back when I was a chicken"
― I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 April 2013 18:58 (eleven years ago) link
"My wife thinks I take things over easy."
― EZ Snappin, Saturday, 6 April 2013 19:17 (eleven years ago) link
"I doubt I'll ever get laid again."
― Øystein, Saturday, 6 April 2013 19:22 (eleven years ago) link
^^^ winner
― Will you see a political publicity stunt? (snoball), Saturday, 6 April 2013 19:24 (eleven years ago) link
the key here is that the egg is HAPPY about something
― I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 April 2013 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
laid is v good
― Roberto Spiralli, Saturday, 6 April 2013 19:51 (eleven years ago) link
"sometimes i think there must be more to life than just being eaten"
― abanana, Saturday, 6 April 2013 22:26 (eleven years ago) link
"i keep having this recurring dream where i'm the only one without hollandaise sauce"
― Poliopolice, Saturday, 6 April 2013 23:12 (eleven years ago) link
"I think we're making progress, I'm definitely coming out of my shell"
― Des Fusils Pour Banter (ShariVari), Saturday, 6 April 2013 23:20 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm afraid if I let myself open up, I'll get burned. By the way, I can't stop laughing at your suit - it makes you look like a slice of bacon."
― Josefa, Saturday, 6 April 2013 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
from the naked boardroom contest, I actually really like one of the nominees:
"I was wrong, this meeting is still boring."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:00 (eleven years ago) link
"It's such a relief to be part of a complete breakfast."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:03 (eleven years ago) link
"Easter was wonderful -- it's the one time of year a man can put on makeup without getting weird looks."
(Oh, if anyone wishes to submit the "laid" one above, or some variation of it: please do! I'm ineligible to enter.)
― Øystein, Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:45 (eleven years ago) link
don't worry, i'm sure tom leonard has already done it
― Poliopolice, Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:47 (eleven years ago) link
tom's won that contest too!
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:49 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.fastcocreate.com/1682733/remembering-roger-ebert-aspiring-new-yorker-humorist-and-one-time-caption-contest-winner
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:50 (eleven years ago) link
"The ovisuction has done wonders for my self-esteem. I've got a new chick on top of me every night now."
― Øystein, Sunday, 7 April 2013 00:51 (eleven years ago) link
OK, here comes one more variation of the situation...
― Mark G, Monday, 8 April 2013 10:36 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/04/15/p465/130415_contest_p465.jpg
"Now THAT was sexual congress."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 8 April 2013 12:25 (eleven years ago) link
nice
― mister borges (darraghmac), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:27 (eleven years ago) link
"So much for a hung parliament"
"Let's just say I expect some capital improvements."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 8 April 2013 12:33 (eleven years ago) link
"That was monumental."
― Will you see a political publicity stunt? (snoball), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:46 (eleven years ago) link
nice!
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 8 April 2013 12:47 (eleven years ago) link
"I love it when you do me like you do ordinary hardworking americans."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:51 (eleven years ago) link
"I guess this _was_ the next logical step after gay marriage."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:53 (eleven years ago) link
"Nope, it doesn't feel right without Ron Paul."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:54 (eleven years ago) link
"I know I said I wanted dome, but this is ridiculous!"
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 12:56 (eleven years ago) link
"this is fucked up"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 8 April 2013 12:58 (eleven years ago) link
"machicolation? listen, i'm not that kind of building"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 8 April 2013 13:02 (eleven years ago) link
"It's okay. Not everyone is the Washington Monument."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 8 April 2013 13:04 (eleven years ago) link
looool
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 13:07 (eleven years ago) link
"Is that George Washington's empty tomb in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?"
― Will you see a political publicity stunt? (snoball), Monday, 8 April 2013 13:32 (eleven years ago) link
"So which hole is your butt?"
― your holiness, we have an official energy drink (Z S), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:04 (eleven years ago) link
"How exactly am I going to stimulate growth?"
― Will you see a political publicity stunt? (snoball), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:05 (eleven years ago) link
"It's ok. Lots of executive bodies get filibustered sometimes."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:10 (eleven years ago) link
"Don't feel bad about it. Not many people can match up to Big Ben."
― Will you see a political publicity stunt? (snoball), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:17 (eleven years ago) link
It's not you, it's me.
― I offer about as much diversity as a saltine cracker. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:23 (eleven years ago) link
"as sex, it was great, but as political metaphor, it was trite and hackneyed"
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:25 (eleven years ago) link
"Ironically, this is the least dirty thing I've done all week."
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:26 (eleven years ago) link
"maybe if i go on top?"
― red shoe obituaries (darraghmac), Monday, 8 April 2013 14:28 (eleven years ago) link
"What's the matter? Can't get an election?"
― Poliopolice, Monday, 8 April 2013 15:01 (eleven years ago) link
"Politics sure make for strange bedfellows, huh?"
― Poliopolice, Monday, 8 April 2013 15:03 (eleven years ago) link
"Now that the session's over, what do we do about the bill?"
― red shoe obituaries (darraghmac), Monday, 8 April 2013 15:03 (eleven years ago) link