ok lets all shit our pants to something new: post 2005 horror film thread

eh thats a pretty lazy review, very rex reedish in its "couldn't be bothered to pay attention to the film because it was beneath me" vibe. particularly in the second paragraph, where it looks like hes willfully ignoring information from the film in lieu of zingers

god i hate reading half-assed critics banging their self-satisfied boners on the table wrt horror, its just the worst

no, jjj, that is valid criticism, delivered with perhaps a touch too much snark. the J-horror audio and visual stylistics were overplayed to the point of distraction.
i think you're just unwilling to accept criticism of a movie that you loved. personally, i am a lot cooler in my enthusiasm for Derrickson's film. it was... okay. with a hilariously bad climax and ending.

Ha lets be clear, I didn't love the movie. Still, complaining abt the idea that dude didn't tell his wife abt moving into a murder house when a huge plot point is the fact that dude didn't tell his wife abt moving into a murder house is crap criticism.

Mostly I'm just using this as an exemplar to bitch abt mainstream critics tackling (and failing) when they approach the horror genre. Starting with a "these characters are unrealistic" move when totally unrealistic situations occur to those characters leads down a stupid path.

"How convenient that a projector is in the attic when the existence of a box of films in an otherwise empty attic in a recently sold house is also completely counterintuitive?"

Good catch champ. Also ghosts might not be real.

"Jack couldn't possibly be in the old photo of the overlook hotel, this movie is garbage!"

Starting with a "these characters are unrealistic" move when totally unrealistic situations occur to those characters leads down a stupid path.

uh... not really.

Characters reacting irrationally to irrational situations shocker

Why would that lady jump out of a second story window to escape from leatherface she might sprain her ankle

Why would Nancy fall asleep knowing Freddy is waiting for here there?

I just watched Martyrs and it really didn't do anything for me. I found the whole secret society thing cliched and silly. So they all really invest all this money and time to hear a testimonial that probably won't change their lives in any meaningful way? Also could not stand Lucie's imaginary predator.

Yep.

xpost Nancy tried really, really hard to stay awake! You try it!

Haven't seen the Hawke movie myself, but I guess some horror movies are hurt when the house looks totally haunted from minute one. It pretty much cuts down on the suspense, because it's not a matter of what will happen but when. I think it hurts "The Shining, too." Oh, look, crazy guy alone in a spooky hotel, what will down? Something scary, I bet!

rewatched beyond the black rainbow a while back, just after the 2011 horror flash poll. i fucking blew it on that one. though it falls apart in the final stretch, it's a fascinating film, a hell of a lot better than (say) human centipede 2.

pretty low bar you've set there

wull yeah

Man, I was so primed to like "Evil Dead." The one reaction I didn't expect was indifference. The world it created wasn't tight enough (logic holes were everywhere) or loose enough (see the original) to make it anything more than 90 minutes of scare-free suffering. The new additions of a nail gun and an electric knife do not = "creativity." I'm sure I'm not the first to note that the movie only finds it feet in the last few minutes when it gives up its pointless "grit" and gives into over-the-top-ness.

90 minutes of scare-free suffering

otm. i'm always griping about the sadism of contemporary horror, so i didn't want to be the first to say it, but this is exactly how i felt. it's slick, fast moving, grisly as hell, and kind of dull in spite of all that.

loved the Evil Dead remake, to my great surprise. I'm generally anti-remake but a friend asked if I'd like to go see it and I so seldom do things with friends I thought what the hell and we went to the theater at this pretty awful and weird mall in a theater I normally don't go to at all and I thought it was really good. I could not really give a shit about plot holes in a horror movie, I come for the vibe and the scares and the darkness and man oh man the fucking Evil Dead book with the drawings and the writing...still great, perfectly re-done. thought the addiction metaphor, albeit clumsy, worked and was effective. the various call-backs to the original were cool and the whole thing was...refreshingly reverent, I thought.

brought down somewhat by the mother and five-year-old two seats ahead of me, no five-year-old needs to see that opening scene. as the movie went on the rest of the family gradually joined them but with every gruesome part I'd be thinking "man...your kid does not need to see that"

wtf is wrong with people? your kid has to learn to seek out onscreen eviscerations on their own, at age 9, like any normal human being

"Home Invasion" as a genre is troublesome. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss the days of a bunch of dumb teenagers going out into the woods to drink and celebrate their last days of freedom for the summer, before they all get chopped to pieces. I miss that." - one of the guys who does the weekly trailer recap on Grantland OTM

I am pro home invasion and chopped to pieces in a campground horror, because I am a universalist.

camp invasion

Underrated Aerosmith -- I'd agree that plot holes in horror movies can be irrelevant. Less so logic holes, though, when they upset the film's own created logic. But anyway: I too rather liked the addiction metaphor. I also appreciate the general verve with which the filmmakers attacked the film. They took their job seriously, that's for sure. (A minor quibble: I didn't like how the Book of the Dead looked. I thought the scratchy writing was cheesy and looked like the opening credits to Seven. It looked like a movie prop rather than something ancient and unknowable.)

And also! The people entering the theater right in front of us were a mom with three little kids (maybe 8 to 11 years old). Are they advertising this flick on Nickelodeon or something?

"Home Invasion" as a label always makes me think of that scene in Twin Peaks where Bob crawls over the living room sofa into the camera. I know that's not what "Home Invasion" means, but still, that's like the worst home invasion moment ever.

I always think of this:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/a/ac/Ice-t_homeinvasion.jpg/220px-Ice-t_homeinvasion.jpg

Is there a good "cell phones will kill you" movie (he asks from his cell phone)?

One Missed Call? Haven't seen it but the Miike original is supposed to be good.

Was going to say Cellular, but the cell is what's supposed to save her.

Pulse? Is that the killer cell movie?

The Signal?

The perfect film would be "Cell" based on the Stephen King book but Eli Roth recently abandoned that project.

So you know it's gonna be good, because that guy can do know wrong, that guy can ... wait, what the hell has that guy been up to? Still miffed that no one saw "Hostel 2?'

Eli Roth's new movie is an homage to "Cannibal Holocaust," et al.

http://www.ign.com/articles/2013/03/01/eli-roth-on-the-horrors-of-the-green-inferno

He's playing it up as a "crazy" shoot, a la "Apocalypse Now" and "Aguirre."

So crazy he was banging two women at once.

Not at the same time, or anything, but behind each other's backs. That kind of crazy.

love that his idea for a cannibal movie is that these dumb hippie kids want to save these savages, see, so they go down to bumfuck booga-booga land and fuckin chain themselves to trees and shit, see, which totally works, but then their plane crashes and the same fuckin nosebone prims FUCKIN EAT THEM!!! lol irony, see? because they're really just savages and shit.

i mentioned it on the appropriate thread but y'all should be made aware that Upstream Color is really just a horror movie at heart.

Men's Fitness magazine voted Roth Most Fit Director in their July 2006 issue, a title Roth takes very seriously, with a strict workout routine that he documents on the Hostel DVDs. Roth claims he treats every red carpet like it was a Milan runway, and often jokes that he only makes films as a way to live out his lifelong dream of being a male supermodel. He spoke of his love for fashion in his interview in the October 2007 issue of Italian Vogue.

Seeing evil dead tomorrow, stoked

Report!

Loved it, but if you don't like your horror movies really mean, or dont enjoy the French extreme stuff, do not go to this.

isn't it tiresome that the movie has been made twice before? that one remake serves a purpose?

I was talking about this actually with the dudes I saw it with (mainly because of the goddamn Carrie remake trailer) - remaking Carrie sucks because the story is the story, you can't really fuck with it or people will freak. The core of evil dead is 5 people end up at an isolated cabin, find a bad book, and terrible things happen to them. That's it. There's just a ton more leeway there to do there than your average remake.

Also, evil dead 2 and this are moving in opposite directions from the original. There is nothing funny in this movie. Ever.

went on the evil dead 2013 page to see if there was sequel, thinking i should wait until it is out and make it a double bill but now i just don't know:
"At the SXSW premiere event, Alvarez announced that a sequel is in the works. In addition, Sam Raimi confirmed plans to write Evil Dead 4 with his brother; it was later specified that this film would be Army of Darkness 2.

At a WonderCon panel in March 2013, Campbell and Alvarez stated that their ultimate plan was for Alvarez's Evil Dead 2 and Raimi's Army of Darkness 2 to be followed by a seventh film which would merge the narratives of Ash and Mia"

so they will try to mix these world together!?

also, that's a lot of films.

that sounds stupid. The remake is competently done but it just feels hollow. It's not fun (which fair enough it's not going for) but it's not scary either. It's just a succession of increasingly gory events, signifying nothing

As opposed to the original and ED2, which signify ... ?

That's why I've always appreciated the ED template: it's all horrible things, but I guess the lack of pretension heightens the OTT giddiness of the grisliness. This one, however, sounds like it errs on the side of too much characterization/context.

otm

the buildup to the nurse girl peeling her own face was pretty tense, but i was bummed that she only snagged a cheek piece. the drawing in the book was way rude, so i was expecting a whole lot worse. otoh, the next-beat punchline was pretty great.

signifying me having a good time at the movies Josh. It definitely doesn't have too much characterization or context either. The intervention subplot isn't really developed, and the cast are as interchangeable as all the non-Ash characters in the originals