Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

most 99% matches are like, the other side answered like 10 questions and matched up with you on all of em? thats how i feel

That shouldn't be possible. Few questions answered means that the percentage can only be so high. I deactivated my account in December, so maybe there's a new algorithm, but when I went through the questions I was always being shown what the highest possible percentage would be.

Huh - my highest match (98%) is right here in Chicago.

Should burning your country's flag be illegal?

Yes

Really??

you don't understand. your country's flag is the name of my dog.

hahaha wtf:

i had my eye on this girl this week, and noticed her little message light go from red/very selective to yellow/selective to green/frequently

i figured damn she must have stepped her reply game up, time to make my move....

http://i.imgur.com/JV3F0GN.png

did you pay

maybe just bypass the whole thing and show up at her house

gr80 do u browse anonymous??

2nd account for that http://i.imgur.com/rDVfRb2.gif

lmao

Back on here after a several month break--please please plleeeeease stop telling your readers that you're "fun." Or "funny." OR ANYTHING. There is no room for anything but self-effacement here, no, sorry, you may think, how can it be bad to tell women how nice I am? but you are mistaken: it is bad.

^^^

fortunately, i am not fun

Yeah, me neither.

message me if you want to watch me refresh ilx all day and not go out

I do have an okc crush on someone's prof though after like AGES of being underwhelmed. He's way out of my league, of course, but I updated my photos today to try to cast a stronger net. Also I broke down and changed my body type to average; I was enjoying being "curvy" but it's...not really fair to actual curvy people, for one thing, and I know readers in general assume that everyone portrays themselves as an improved version in their profile so the subtract accordingly blah blah.

xp lol yes

I have to get back into this while I'm still kind of buzzing from a very busy two weeks in which I accomplished actual things. Also I need to continue accomplishing things, which this weather should help with.

thinking of doubling down on my OKC profile deletion and ditching facebook too. accomplishing actual things sounds good.

I don't feel good about my body-referencing language in those posts. What I mean is that I think I can reasonably use "curvy" to describe myself but I'm aware that the popular understanding of it is as a euphemism for "fat." I want to be like FFFFF UUUUU to anyone who has a problem with either the facts or the language used to describe them but I suspect it's not doing my response rates any good. I put up a full-body pic, maybe I'll change back to curvy and be like, this is curvy, you asshole.

Gosh I'm so pleasant and accommodating, it's amazing that I don't have dates just every day of the week.

From having looked at a bunch of women's profiles, the terms "curvy," "a little extra," and "full-figured" seem pretty much interchangeable (and "average" probably could be included in this as well) and have almost no predictive value at all. But I'm focusing on the photos and answers to questions first anyway.

I mean, stuff like height has an easy objective measure, but what a complete minefield coming up with non-relative classifications for body type is. "Average" seems super-problematic, doesn't it?

Yes. I hate it as a category. You're convincing me, I'm going back to curvy.

Curves are not "extra" you motherfucking category makers. They just are. They exist. Extra to WHAT, EXACTLY?

you could also just leave it blank

there are like 4 that could apply to me so i was just like, fuck it

"Used up" fits me perfectly

Me too dayo - I went 'a little extra', then 'average', then disappointment in self, then left it blank.
xp

Blank seems like a safe bet, especially if you want to avoid people who are searching on specific body types.

Oh bah, fine, I emailed him. Prediction: He will now proceed to completely ignore me.

i just discovered i could make it say

Speaks: English (Okay)

:-]

Kinda wacky match.com user:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/07/fashion/weddings/twist-phelan-and-jack-chapple-vows.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

“My cousin, concerned I was moving to Denver without knowing anyone, bought me a Match.com membership,” said Ms. Phelan, 55, who moved from Sun Valley, Idaho, to Denver in 2008 after divorcing the year before. “I bet her a trip to Prague I could go on 100 dates in 100 days.”

Ms. Phelan won.

“A Velcro flow chart helped me keep track of which Michael, David and Robert were in favor,” she said. “I would sometimes double-up the dates and have dinner at the same restaurant. I assured the owner that I wasn’t the world’s oldest hooker. I told him I was dating. They always saved me Table 14. At the end of the 100 dates, I’d met some charming guys, made some good friends and had fun experiences like flying a jet and riding a camel, but I couldn’t find the romance I was looking for.”

Shortly after her dating streak ended, she was sorting through profiles of men who had looked at her profile but had not contacted her. As the faces flashed by, something clicked. She saw Mr. Chapple, who had blue eyes and tousled red hair. His profile said he owned an investment firm and lived in Boulder, Colo.

“This guy looked cute,” she said. “I wondered why he didn’t write me. I checked his preferences: no lawyers, not taller than 5-4, no blondes, must downhill ski. I’m a 6-foot-tall blond lawyer who doesn’t alpine.” Unabashed, she e-mailed him: “Why didn’t you write? I’m perfect for you!”

Now they're married

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/07/fashion/weddings/twist-phelan-and-jack-chapple-vows.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Twist Phelan

http://spaced.wz.cz/images/herci/Twist.jpg

Bless you.

It's never the wrong time for a Spaced joke.

thank you; i was trying to remember if i had ever heard of anyone named Twist

when will Netflix start an online matchup service based on my viewing history and zip code?

I think I have decided I have no luck on OkC because I am just TOO DAMN SEXY

me too

Guess I have to kinda begrudgingly thank OKC for initially introducing me to someone I've been seeing for a couple of months now and who I like an enormous amount. Our actual OKC-centric interaction was brief and took place almost two years ago, but I'm certain that we never would have met via any other means. And she was a 98% match, so they're doing something right over there.

your girlfriends off the internet

internet girlfriend

Status update: Message to crush object till being ignored. Nice move, self.

I can't work out how many of those words are meant to be verbs

lol

*still

is having messages ignored a novel experience?

Not lately, I guess. I've been internet dating for over 10 years tho and in past episodes when I was younger and my profile probably telegraphed how emotionally available I was, I could go on multiple dates a week with people I might have actually liked, always be written to & responded to. Now it's rare for me to even be interested in someone's profile and men I find attractive ignore me. Boo hoo, who cares.

beardist