Dear Abbott

bla bla bla bla bla
― Ages 8 to 80

SUGGEST BAN

Tuesday, February 10, 2009 5:24 PM Site Ages 8 to 80 has been banned permanently.

Whoa. I think I may have special powers!

Dear Abbott,

Did you ever think you had special powers?

Dear ZS,

We've all known you've had special powers for ages.

I think the only special power I have is to make the left speaker in a stereo break within a week of me getting it.

Yours monaurally,

Abbott

I have to say that your power will probably not come in handy very often. But someday, mark my words, some villain will be in a situation where her only hope is your left speaker, installed within the last week. And you'll just laugh and laugh and laugh, because you'll know you can break that speaker whenever you want.

Thank you Abbott, i will try all of them apart from the sleep thing as i can't sleep at all.

you're a star x

wait chaki was banned...?

Flaming psychopaths tend to be, yah.

huh

was not aware of flaming psychopath tendencies

I would like to see your retarded van.

Yours,

retarded Abbott-van

― i'm shy (Abbott), Tuesday, February 10, 2009 3:22 PM (1 week ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3428/3293079179_29dd951f30.jpg

omg <3

omg <3

also

Dearest Mr. Rags,

Sure, and yes.

Yours in morbid dental fascination,

Abbott

― i'm shy (Abbott), Tuesday, February 10, 2009 3:45 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

Couldn't get a good pic while it was still in my mouf. Sorry. But click!

i have not been to a dentist in probably 10 years

How much weed is too much weed? Like, what is a non-abberational pot habit?

^^^
Sincerely,
"crunked in cruces"

Dearest Oilyrags,

http://www.midmar.com/xmasHomeAlone1.jpg

!!!!!!!!

Dearest the Viceroy,

Weed is okay every other day. Abstaining on alternating days for bedroom and social purposes is a kindness to others.

TMI board, people

The "snap" it made when the broke the crown off from the root was pretty amazing.

yow!

dear abbott,

what music did you play at your wedding/while walking down the 'aisle'? what was on your shortlist of music to play at this event?

<3

"let's get married" -- boner jamz

>The "snap" it made when the broke the crown off from the root was pretty amazing.

massive lolz 4 this...

not that I mind, but what's so funny?

I think if I smoked weed with Abbott, I'd teleport into another dimension or something. It's kindof scary to think about.

Describe your favorite apocalyptic scenario plz.

Favorite?

abbs

have u ever owned pets plz describe their names and temperments ty

hoos

Dearest Hoos,

God, you wanted a short novel or what?

Age 5:

Jojo the turtle. We took a family trip to Kentucky and we picked the turtle up off a road there. He was a nice little guy. I drew a lot of pictures & wrote many stories & comics about him. A car ran over him after a few months.

Age 6:

Biscuit, a nice pomeranian mix dog who was fluffy and white. She was affable and loved to roll around in freshly cut grass, giving her fur a greenish tint. We had her for 9 months, got rid of her when we moved (lord knows why).

Mrs. Frisby, a mouse. I got her from my first grade teacher, who had a class pet mouse that made a lot of babies and was also named Mrs. Frisby. The mouse escaped.

Nicodemus, another mouse from my first grade teacher. It ran away too. My parents said I couldn't have any more mice.

Age 7:

I wanted a dog but my parents would only let us get cats.

Max, a manx cat who was white with a grey butt, grey nose and grey ears. He hopped like a bunny when he ran. He was a neat and funny cat, but I was kind of bitter bcz he would never sleep with me or pay much attention to me specifically. He ran away.

Roman was a very nice tortie kitten who got ran over in two days. I found his squashed, oozing body & he was still alive & screaming in pain. I convinced my dad to take Roman to the vet to get him put down instead of drowning him. The vet did it for free. I didn't go to school the next day, I was so sad. My parents quit letting me have cats.

Age 10:

Jasper, a small desert lizard. He was pretty boring. He just sat on his heat rock. He escaped, too. They're fast motherfuckers. That thing where their tails flip out after breaking off: I can see why that is a great defense mechanism. It's jarring as hell.

Oscar, a hermit crab. He lived in Jasper's old cage. He died after 3 days on Thanksgiving. I had difficulty feeling sad, but I did feel like a shithead with some kind of pet-killing curse.

Age 12:

Two tabby cats, Orville and Wilbur. They were cuddle kitties to the max. Orville got locked in a grain silo & was cooked to death. Wilbur was so funny. He could climb ladders. One time he adopted some stray kittens and tried to nurse them and everything. It was incredible. He was around for two lovely years until he crawled into my dad's warm truck engine & died when the car started.

Age 13:

A black moor goldfish named Shelby. He only had one eye! I adopted him from someone whose other fish had attempted to kill it. His fins were ragged, too, but those grew back. He lived for two years and was a point of pride for me, this homely little fish. When he died, I played "In My Room" by the Beach Boys on repeat because we spent a lot of time together in my room.

Age 15:

Alice and Sylvia, two black and white rats. They weren't as sociable as I'd hoped, meaning not at all. I think they'd been at the pet store a long time when I got them. Our relationship was: I'd clean the cage and try not to get bitten. I gave them to a friend eventually, who was happier with them than I was.

Part two, pets of my adulthood, soon to come!

poor abbott's pets ;_;

The same thing that happened to your Wilbur happened to one of my cats (which I had sadly and appropriately named "Blender").

Oh dear!

I have lots of horrific pet stories too...I thought about starting a thread but it would just be a horror show thread.

One of my biggest worries is: what if my dog dies? I would be inconsolable. I am going to go pet my dog right now.

i constantly worry about my cats dying. they are getting a little old (10 and 8 yrs old) and although i have had cats my whole life pretty much, i have never had one die, due to moving every few years and leaving them behind (this sounds bad but these were international moves that would have required quarantining pets).

My dog is 14, and still chipper as hell - if only for 45 min a day. She then sleeps the rest of the time.

Weed is okay every other day. Abstaining on alternating days for bedroom and social purposes is a kindness to others.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^.

my past cats have either ran away or gotten sick and been euthanized. now one of my cats is 15 or 16 and i'm constantly poking him to make sure he's still breathing (because he's usually asleep).

i constantly worry about my cats dying.

and

i'm constantly poking him to make sure he's still breathing

Me toooo. Just today when I left the house, I said to both cats, "You both be here and alive when I get back!" which is kind of crazy, now that I think about it. I had a really tough time when our big sweet fat cat died a year ago last Feb. and he wasn't even my favorite. When my Number One Cat dies, I don't know what I'm going to do.

this fella...
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3543/3434215518_8063498b1b.jpg
is about 15, 16? do not know what i will do with myself when he passes, and really don't like to dwell on it too much.

I have met Stevie's grand cat there and agree.

That's a very excellent cat.

He's got a lot of character.

also, glaucoma. but he makes it work.

Glaucoma detracts from neither excellence nor character, in cats or humans (or dogs), in my experience.

Get him some medical marijuana.

Deer Abbott:
you gonna start posting on the DS bloggy thing again? you still gettin' roms?
-forks

Dear Mr. Forks,

I am still getting ROMs. I was unaware anyone was reading the thing. Also, I think I painted myself into a corner or something. Who knows.

Yours,

Abbott

okay, well I was reading it and would welcome more.

Dear Abbott

Erica said this:

Maybe I should just get a tattoo of a sloth who is best friends with a hedgehog who can lick his nose (the hedgehog's own not the sloth's) and look very cute while doing so.

and then I suggested you draw it. But she is not so keen on the idea anymore (cuz of hedgehogs may or may not be right little fuckers) but I'm still sold on etching it into my flesh. Could you pls to draw (when you and then if it's still alright with Mrs Spiralli I vow to get err done. thx.

:-)

Dear Mr. Nick,

I would be totes down with this. How cartoony is acceptable?

Yours,

Abbs