"As you'll see momentarily, the fiscal crisis has left me with only a stack of dimes."
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:32 (thirteen years ago)
"When I said dress code was business casual, I meant business casual at every other business except American Apparel! Of course, that doesn't quite explain why I'm not wearing clothes either, does it?"
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:33 (thirteen years ago)
"Activate interlock! Dynotherms connected. Infracells up. Mega thrusters are go. FORM VOLTRON!"
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:35 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm really digging these new casual fridays."
― s.clover, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:38 (thirteen years ago)
"Wow! This place is swank! Can I just say-- this ain't your father's gas chamber!"
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:39 (thirteen years ago)
"Hey, I think this is a one-way mirror."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:40 (thirteen years ago)
"you know, i could have sworn the recruiter said this was a news agency."
― s.clover, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:40 (thirteen years ago)
"Lena, you seem cold. Are you cold?"
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:41 (thirteen years ago)
"I like staring at your nude bodies as I work. I find it... erotic."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:42 (thirteen years ago)
"I bet my dick looks like ants to all those people."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:43 (thirteen years ago)
"...and to think-- all those fuckers thought I couldn't build a successful Fortune 500 business where every employee experiences a daily regimen of degrading sexual humiliation and brutal genital torture."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 01:48 (thirteen years ago)
"Let's focus, people"
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Thursday, 21 March 2013 15:38 (thirteen years ago)
"Hey, we should bring back the suggest ban button" xp
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Thursday, 21 March 2013 15:43 (thirteen years ago)
"let's focus, people" kills me
― Walter Galt, Thursday, 21 March 2013 16:57 (thirteen years ago)
yes that is brilliant. it's what a real new yorker cartoon would have as its caption but doesn't stand a chance in hell for the competition.
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:07 (thirteen years ago)
Thomas C Leonard, can you go ahead and submit that for me? Thanks!
- Zach
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:14 (thirteen years ago)
"B-b-b-butt b-b-b-butt b-b-butt...!"
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 17:28 (thirteen years ago)
"You know what gets me hard? WINNING."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:10 (thirteen years ago)
"That is my vision for the company. No ifs or ands."
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:24 (thirteen years ago)
^ that's a winner.
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:25 (thirteen years ago)
looooooool
you gotta submit that DJP
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:57 (thirteen years ago)
I already have
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:57 (thirteen years ago)
Takin no chances, good man
― mister borges (darraghmac), Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:58 (thirteen years ago)
that is one of the few times i have actually lol'd at a NYer caption, rather than mildly blowing air out of my nostrils and thinking "HMMM!"
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Thursday, 21 March 2013 19:58 (thirteen years ago)
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S),
― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 21 March 2013 20:16 (thirteen years ago)
"Mother... tell your children not to walk my wayyyyy.... tell your children not to hear my words... Mother..."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 21:14 (thirteen years ago)
"Just then we heard a crash... Donald's dick broke the glass."
― Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Thursday, 21 March 2013 21:20 (thirteen years ago)
"Here's my impression of GG Allin."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 21:23 (thirteen years ago)
boo you can only submit one entry
someone enter this: "Now that the entire board has bought in, we can introduce Emperor Businesswear to the public."
― Darth Icky (DJP), Thursday, 21 March 2013 21:25 (thirteen years ago)
also it occurs to me that the "Christ, what an asshole" caption takes on a new dimension here
"I think we will be able to attract top talent with our open floor plans, flex time scheduling, child care, telecommuting options, and casual dress code."
― Poliopolice, Thursday, 21 March 2013 21:33 (thirteen years ago)
"Get mad you son-of-a-bitch. Get mad. You know what it takes to sell real-estate?"
― Øystein, Friday, 22 March 2013 00:33 (thirteen years ago)
"I think we can all agree THAT didn't work."
― i petted a bodega cat today. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 22 March 2013 02:37 (thirteen years ago)
"Clothing is for closers."
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 22 March 2013 02:49 (thirteen years ago)
clothers
― Mark G, Friday, 22 March 2013 07:43 (thirteen years ago)
"...profit!"
― ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (Z S), Friday, 22 March 2013 12:32 (thirteen years ago)
"Lyndon Johnson taught me a lot about getting the most out of employees."
― Poliopolice, Friday, 22 March 2013 14:12 (thirteen years ago)
"We've had reports of some of you bringing in concealed weapons."
― Poliopolice, Saturday, 23 March 2013 14:24 (thirteen years ago)
3 finallists from the "clockwork" pic:
"Backstabbing was already prevalent—we just added a twist.""Be careful not to overwind—it can cost us overtime.""And Bob, here, came to us from a jewelry box."
and this weeks pic:
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/04/01/p465/130401_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 25 March 2013 11:25 (thirteen years ago)
"Don't order the fish."
― Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 25 March 2013 11:29 (thirteen years ago)
"you bastards"
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Monday, 25 March 2013 11:31 (thirteen years ago)
"I recommend the pizza, they have a killer oven here"
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Monday, 25 March 2013 11:32 (thirteen years ago)
excuse the cloud-yelling but boy o boy those winning captions are garbage
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 25 March 2013 11:33 (thirteen years ago)
yeah the backstabbing one is pure head-in hands
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Monday, 25 March 2013 11:34 (thirteen years ago)
not that i can talk...
"This great chef, his career tragically cut short by sous-icide"
"in life, chef sought to put a piece of himself into every dish that left his kitchen. in death, at last, he has realized that ambition"
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 25 March 2013 11:39 (thirteen years ago)
Thomas C Leonard worthy
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Monday, 25 March 2013 12:00 (thirteen years ago)
We would like to again apologise for the spoiled broth, but we believe we've solved the problem once and for all
― mister borges (darraghmac), Monday, 25 March 2013 12:21 (thirteen years ago)
bit of turd polishing:
"After the service you'll all have a chance to sample pizza from the bone-fired oven."
― Another turning point, a stork fuck in the road (ledge), Monday, 25 March 2013 12:24 (thirteen years ago)
"For once it isn't just the food that smells funny."
― Half of these sound like rappers. (snoball), Monday, 25 March 2013 12:27 (thirteen years ago)