Moneyball won't win the Premiership 2012-13

Collymore and Redman are the only two MTV Cribs I've seen that were clearly filmed in their own house rather than a rented mansion. I don't watch it much right enough.

Anyway, first impressions are everything in this game. Collymore (autocorrect: folly ore) emerged a beast, a pre-Ronaldo Ronaldo, so everything afterwards was an aberration, a betrayal of his true state. Whereas Diego Forlan, Savo Milosevic and David de Gea, those will always be bad players.

The receptionist at a holiday hotel in St. Lucia looked slightly puzzled when she took down a telephone message for Liverpool manager Roy Evans. It said: "The Man from Del Monte would like to say Yes."

When Roy read the coded message, which had been delivered to his room, he was ecstatic. It meant his major summer target, Stan Collymore, had agreed to join the Reds.

"The cloak-and-dagger stuff was necessary, even if it did give people the impression that I was a dealer in canned fruit! We didn't want the news broadcasting until he had actually put pen to paper. He was the man we wanted and the market price had to be met. Other clubs were also bidding. I believe a great relationship will be built up between Stan and our supporters."

That explains the cup final suits.

and the rise of jason lee at forest in his stead

hahaha

Whereas Diego Forlan, Savo Milosevic and David de Gea, those will always be bad players.

the Bale-style makeover can help a player get over this. Maybe de Gea should become a right back.

Slaying foreigners for merrie englande is a way out of the funk, it's true. Didn't Bale's naissance start with the Inter game? De Gea gets some delayed respect for denying Madrid recently. Forlan's golden boots are worth nowt.

My Villa-supporting mate, ecstatic at the news of Collymore's signing, bet me a fiver that he would score 40 goals for Villa that season. Candy off a baby.

Rooney is also 5th all-time in assists in the PL. I doubt Owen even reached double figures. Not that you care (and of course 90% of those assists were just him giving the ball to Ronaldo etc etc)

iirc Franco di Santo gets an assist for that fiasco on Sunday

brilliant strike drew an equally brilliant save iirc

Didn't Bale's naissance start with the Inter game?

no.

#0 otm, in the end

thought i'd save you the trouble

I meant when did Bale™ move from being hapless big baby to force of nature. Obviously he was always a genius.

he's still a big baby, he was only hapless that one time under ramos against ?udinese? but he wasn't alone in that

If Spurs didn't redesign their squad every year in the image of a new manager, they could actually turn out to be pretty good. Stability got Everton to where they are. If this summer you just get rid of the absolute overpriced rubbish (Bent, Bentley, Bale, Pavlychenko, Hutton etc.), hold on to your best players (your Modrics, Woodgates, Corlukas, etc.) and build smartly around them, you would be quite a formidable team. Redknapp seems to be the perfect man to do such a job, unfortunately.

Bet you still end up with no proper left backs or left wingers though.

― a hoy hoy, Tuesday, April 21, 2009 4:13 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i hate that argument, absolutely hate it.

recruiting a capable manager in the first place got everton to where they were now.

― Old Big 'OOS (AKA the Cupwinner) (darraghmac), Tuesday, April 21, 2009 4:14 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I'm sure the board of Hamburg SV would agree with you there

― Sacco, Vanzetti, Passantino... (Tom D.), Tuesday, April 21, 2009 4:16 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

*Bent, Bentley, Bale, Pavlychenko, Hutton etc*

Gareth Bale will win premier leagues in his career.

Pavlyuchenko is as rubbish as any 16 goal debut season while not getting a game striker i've ever seen.

Bent, if given the right type of service, scores goals. We're not really set up to give him the right type so yeah he could go.

Bentley and Hutton? would take 10m the pair.

― Old Big 'OOS (AKA the Cupwinner) (darraghmac), Tuesday, April 21, 2009 4:18 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Ha yes, I'd forgotten there was some epic learning-to-crawl in there once, what exactly happened in that game? I was thinking more his run of forty consecutive defeats or whatever it was.

Gareth Bale will win premier leagues in his career

That's the quote that's stuck with me ever since! Except I'm sure it was 'will win premier league games'

how the cunt did you cunts manage to start a bale discush again ffs

^

form player in the universe, unless you wanna maybe count jermaine jenas sunshine

look bruv we've got two whole weeks of this international shit to fill with guff, you don't pull the lcd lever two days in

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore) wrote this on thread PFA Team of the season on board I Love Everything on Mar 23, 2003

Haha, thanks Paul. I think it would be hard to realistically claim that any Bristol Rovers players belong in this team. I'd vote for Henry as player of the year, I think. I agree about Jenas - the hype for Rooney is excessive given what he has achieved so far (before today he hadn't even played 90 minutes in the last three months or so!), but he'll win.

early jenas mention here, but pre-cambrian ilf was all for boy ahead of scholes

Mark C (Mark C) wrote this on thread if you were sven / kerr / vogts/ whatever on board I Love Everything on 01-Apr-2003

Drop Heskey, play Rooney alongside Owen. Never, ever allow Gerrard to be injured again. Teach Paul Scholes how to pass or drop him - replace with Jenas.

o_O

Old ILF really loved the Toon version of Jenas eh.

I'm looking into a whole other world here, where Newcastle are pushing for titles as long as they can keep hold of Jenas and Ameobi.

Newcastle went on to finish 5th, just 34 points behind Arsenal and 3 ahead of Charlton.

In fairness, Jenas was really good in his first few months at Newcastle.

His first full year tbfttl, and fine at spurs til asked to be the enforcer

Think I disagree on principle with digging up old posts to show how wrong we were 5-10 years ago. It's not like there aren't far worse examples from more recently (lol early Emannuel Frimpong love). These are part and parcel of the game.

I'm not trying to show anyone up, I think it's great looking back and trying to remember how you felt before you realised payer x was a wasteman.

*player

Kevin Doyle dropped by text

all together now......

Xp matt it's not to lol at, for the most part, it's lol 'oh weird, remember when that was a thing"

Think I disagree on principle with digging up old posts to show how wrong we were 5-10 years ago. It's not like there aren't far worse examples from more recently (lol early Emannuel Frimpong love). These are part and parcel of the game.

http://cdn.eplindex.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/fernando-torres-liverpool.jpg

Wait, was it that Nando would fail at Liverpool, or that he'd fail in the epl?

either way wrong about liverpool. ynwa.

It seems like every televised Chelsea game has the commentators going on about the Torres of old and whether it's attitude or confidence or tactics or injuries or whatever that has caused a potential GOAT to be not as good as he once was. They're all experts on body language too. They point out that he peeled off to the edge of the box instead of attacking the front post as an indication that he doesn't want to get stuck in (and ignore the fact that such movement often leads to goal-scoring chances).

Then whenever he manages to score there's always a load of nonsense about how that goal just might be the one to resurrect the Torres we all knew and loved a few years ago.

A run of form would just lead to more shit analysis about when it would all go wrong again or what previous managers did wrong. I think it would be best for everyone if he just fucked off to somewhere Sky & ITV don't cover.

jenas was good, then youthful application evaporated and he turned shit. "realised" implies he was always shit but tricked u into thinking otherwise

saying that though he actually does blank your mind sometimes even now when he fleetingly looks like a serene international class operator. then you see him without the ball and u recall the whole being a poser and coward thing

lol early Emannuel Frimpong love

i agree that ilf would be nothing without rash predictions thrown everywhere so don't want to lol too much, but this is spectacular:

Like BANG! Bust 'em in the wang like it aint no thang (a hoy hoy) wrote this on thread Jermaine Pennant has tried paella and he likes it very much: The non-English speaking soccerball leagues 09/10 on board I Love Everything on Sep 16, 2009

Technically now 2 English Arsenal players playing now. Ok, one is for Blackpool. But we are going to have no problems with the new Homegrown Player rule (unlike Liverpool, who are a bit screwed) and look like we will contribute a large portion of the next England team (Gibbs, Bartley, Ayling, E-Thomas, Lansbury, Wilshere, Afobe, and Frimpong all look like the best youngsters in the country bar Rodwell and Stanislas.)

xp a rangers player though alright, feels like he's been with us for years tbh

you see him without the ball and u recall the whole being a poser and coward thing

something bad happened him in the whole leaving liverpool thing - and in the months before, he did look v sullen all the time as compared to when he started and was able to handle being kicked with a plum.

jenas torres whats the difference

lol i thought that was about owen

Stanislas, who ran around The Valley doing fuck all for 60 minutes before being hauled off the other week :D

where's WBS?

http://i.imgur.com/NIIvAwQ.jpg

Well, you can see Poch is kind of losing his enthusiasm for the whole Being At A Table With A Guy thing. Plus side - Rickie says he wants to play out his career with us, which is cool.

Also in Saints - Vegard Forren, a footballer who exists, played 90 minutes for Norway tonight as they lost to Albania. Given that Vegard is currently being kept off our bench by the combined might of Yoshida, Hooiveld and Fonte, Norway must be dreadful these days.

Is yoshida as fuckin awful as he's looked every time i've seen saints concede?

http://images.clickliverpool.com/admin/article/articleimages/1358248106-forren.jpg

forren looks ready to me

was he in the magdalen sisters?