A shepherd and his flock have been walking for miles in search of a brook to drink from. Suddenly one of the sheep, Laura, looks up and says to the shepherd "Hey wait a minute, the sun is setting over there. We've been walking west! I thought I told you it was to the east." The shepherd replies "Oh I'm sorry, I misherd ewe."
― NWOFHM! Overlord (krakow), Tuesday, 12 March 2013 23:31 (thirteen years ago)
lol
― how's life, Wednesday, 13 March 2013 09:49 (thirteen years ago)
mind blown
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 13 March 2013 14:25 (thirteen years ago)
So, to boost morale, my philosophy department has decided to start having causal fridays.
― space phwoar (Hurting 2), Monday, 18 March 2013 18:56 (thirteen years ago)
How do you stop a german literature buff from choking?
Give them the heinrich mann oeuvre.
― beau 'daedaly (wins), Tuesday, 26 March 2013 20:27 (thirteen years ago)
why was glenn gould always so busy?
because he had to play a lot of gigues.
― i've a cozy little flat in what is known as old man hat (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 27 March 2013 17:05 (thirteen years ago)
high marks all
― No, not sinister (Austerity Ponies), Thursday, 28 March 2013 14:22 (thirteen years ago)
Why did Thom Yorke reject Liam Gallagher's donation of his own body parts for the school raffle?
Because Noel arms and nose are prizes, please
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Thursday, 18 April 2013 10:53 (thirteen years ago)
took me a while to get that one.
― pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Thursday, 18 April 2013 10:54 (thirteen years ago)
I'm writing an economic study about the workers at a chain hotdog stand in the UK.
It's called "The Welsh of Nathan's"
― charlie 4chan, internet detective (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 April 2013 14:00 (thirteen years ago)
What was the gutter punk's favorite Steve Miller song
Fly like an oogle.
― how's life, Thursday, 18 April 2013 18:32 (thirteen years ago)
I dated a customs official once but in the end she had too much baggage.
― pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Thursday, 18 April 2013 21:10 (thirteen years ago)
i like it
― charlie 4chan, internet detective (Hurting 2), Thursday, 18 April 2013 21:21 (thirteen years ago)
You know, they say the gay rights movement started with the Stonewall Riots, but those are bullshit. Total false fag operation.
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:08 (thirteen years ago)
Slept with a ballerina last night. She was on point.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:12 (thirteen years ago)
Submitted the following to a short-lived falafel spot on St. Mark's in a contest to name a dish: 'I let this chickpea in my mouth and now I falafel.' Did not win.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:15 (thirteen years ago)
falafel = feel awful is kind of an old standard but I like your twist
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:16 (thirteen years ago)
The causal fridays one upthread is too good.
― viacom dios, Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:23 (thirteen years ago)
ty, I liked your on point as well
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Sunday, 21 April 2013 03:24 (thirteen years ago)
Noel arms and nose are prizes is gonna haunt my thoughts for eternity tbh.
― Elvis was a hero to most but he never her (ledge), Sunday, 21 April 2013 20:49 (thirteen years ago)
Q: What dancehall artist is #1 on pirate radio stations?
A: B-arrrrr-ington Levy.
― Chuck E was a hero to most (s.clover), Sunday, 28 April 2013 23:29 (thirteen years ago)
So I ran into my friend the lingerie model the other day, and she was looking really sad. So I asked her "why the thong lace?"
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:19 (thirteen years ago)
Nice.
― o. nate, Tuesday, 30 April 2013 20:31 (thirteen years ago)
I asked my friend if he wanted to come w/ me to this German philosophy discussion but he told me he was busy and that he Kant Goethe anything tonight :(
― siouxsan sarandon (Stevie D(eux)), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 21:11 (thirteen years ago)
like
― huun huurt 2 (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 1 May 2013 21:22 (thirteen years ago)
Q: What's six foot three and purple?
A: René Aubergine
― great wallogina (Autumn Almanac), Monday, 6 May 2013 23:46 (thirteen years ago)
A: What do you call a unicellular eukaryotic organism that would rather spend his Friday night pounding a few Bud Lights with his buds at the pool hall than take his girlfriend out for a romantic Italian dinner for two?A: A brotozoa.
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:39 (thirteen years ago)
Whoops, sorry, "What do you call a unicellular eukaryotic organism that would rather spend his Friday night pounding a few Bud Lights with his buds at the pool hall than take his girlfriend out for a romantic Italian dinner for two?" was supposed to be the A:
I have a condition you see
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:45 (thirteen years ago)
It was supposed to be the Q:
(...condition)
― del griffith, Saturday, 11 May 2013 01:46 (thirteen years ago)
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/307372_517836104906387_1641481268_n.jpg
Did you hear that Roger Waters just crashed his inflatable pig into London's tallest building?? I know it's wrong to laugh but eh, Shard and Floyd
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:04 (thirteen years ago)
ouch.
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:11 (thirteen years ago)
Don't suppose you heard his disastrous cover of Smooth Operator either then?
― dschinghis kraan (NickB), Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:28 (thirteen years ago)
wow.
― how's life, Tuesday, 14 May 2013 14:35 (thirteen years ago)
I hear certain 1970s hairstyles are back in fashion at the moment?Yep, afros are big right now.
― nagl dude dude dude (ledge), Monday, 20 May 2013 13:35 (thirteen years ago)
¡GOL! I'm actually gonna use that on irl.
― Pasty, British & Shit (wins), Monday, 20 May 2013 14:52 (thirteen years ago)
Where do crust punks get those fashionable clothes?
American oogle
― how's life, Tuesday, 21 May 2013 23:27 (thirteen years ago)
Why was the Met visitor so grateful to the one-armed, one-legged man for showing him around?
Because it had been a long time since he'd gotten a half-docent museum tour.
― THIS IS NOT A BENGHAZI T-SHIRT (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 28 May 2013 20:23 (thirteen years ago)
Q: Who is the greatest Ukrainian indie guitar goddess?A: Mary Timoshenko
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Thursday, 30 May 2013 19:23 (thirteen years ago)
Why did Sean connery take an assertiveness course?
Because he wanted to get more pushy.
― too busy s1ockin' on my 乒乓 (wins), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:09 (thirteen years ago)
brilliant
― the Quim of Bendigo (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 5 June 2013 09:11 (thirteen years ago)
That is great.
― o. nate, Wednesday, 5 June 2013 18:38 (thirteen years ago)
Q: How do you call your German grandma?A: On the Deutsche Gramma-phone
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Thursday, 6 June 2013 18:28 (thirteen years ago)
Ha!
― ljubljana, Friday, 7 June 2013 00:12 (thirteen years ago)
connery one is killing me
― stefon taylor swiftboat (s.clover), Friday, 7 June 2013 01:59 (thirteen years ago)
Q: What did Pink Floyd do after they wrote Wish You Were Here?A: Push Syd Barrett out the window
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 26 June 2013 03:59 (twelve years ago)
Q. what Disney pop starlet is known for her ability to sing 32nd notes?A. hemisemidemilovato
― Remember! The cormorant is a big brrd. It has got a long neck. (unregistered), Thursday, 27 June 2013 17:30 (twelve years ago)
oh shit!
― how's life, Thursday, 27 June 2013 17:39 (twelve years ago)
Did you hear Miss Cleo went to a drag show in Puerto Rico? She said the audience was a lot of fun but the headliner was a real borinquen.
― shohreh aja/danteloo (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 28 June 2013 00:15 (twelve years ago)
Why was there a bottle of Hendricks raffled off at the smooth R&B concert?
Because it was Ginuwin(e)
― i don't even have an internet (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 July 2013 20:14 (twelve years ago)