itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

or maybe someone with an amazing personality who doesnt really enjoy meeting you at all

Suck it up and give a good handshake for like 2 seconds of your life

i super confidently extend my left hand

the last time someone did this to me (i believe in all handshake sincerity) i confusedly extended my right hand anyway and then i suppose we held hands side by side for a second before going on our respective ways. it was very manly.

whenever someone gives me a firm handshake i'm secretly thinking, dude you're not schwarzenegger, i'm not carl weathers, and this isn't predator.

Whenever someone says hello do you object on zellwegerian terms

you had me there.

Suck it up and give a good handshake for like 2 seconds of your life

― emilys., Monday, March 11, 2013 8:57 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

eskimo kiss or nothing final offer

whenever i unexpectedly receive a firm handshake i clap the handshaker on the side of the shoulder with my left hand, chortle deeply and say 'my GOD it's good to see you, darling this was the man i was telling you about' (even if i'm with no one.)

the left hand is p croosh I do that all the time, often w/ a baguette in my right hand

my other fav is to do the limp fish but what I call the dead fish, where u dont stop extending ur arm until they grasp you by the wrist and then u let ur arm go limp and theyre just shaking ur whole arm by the wrist, its like what are you doing thats my arm

just spitballin here but what abt carrying around an actual dead fish then when they reach out hand them the fish

i like that, good take

offer forth a well disguised false arm and just as they're about to grab the hand, extend your real hand out from the sleeve and watch their expression change

extend your hand, but roll yr eyes back in yr head and lean in as you faint against them

then, after they catch you, flutter your eyes open and blush demurely

a joy buzzer set to lethal levels you shake and electricity courses through their body and into yours you both perish in the manliest murder suicide ever

eyeball lick or gtfo

[lag∞n holds out his hand and 乒乓 comes over to shake it when suddenly lag∞n slashes 乒乓's forearm wrist-to-elbow, down to the bone with a razor]

lag∞n: Don't worry. Don't worry. That's it. It's done. There's no pain, it's over. It's over.

Turn the offering of the hand into a game of knuckles without warning

oh shit xp

[lag∞n holds out his hand and 乒乓 comes over to shake it when suddenly lag∞n slashes 乒乓's forearm wrist-to-elbow, down to the bone with a razor]

lag∞n: Don't worry. Don't worry. That's it. It's done. There's no pain, it's over. It's over.

― christmas candy bar (al leong), Monday, March 11, 2013 9:25 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

and that concludes this youtube video how to shake hands like a man

firm handshake, then yank him close and say YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT AN AMBUSH? I AMBUSHED YOU WITH A CUP OF COFFEE

love you guys

handshake ain't a handshake unless you playfully tickle their palm with your middle finger imo

lol

lagoon and donna rouge now topping the list of ilxors I most want to shake hands with

what's that i thought you said hamshake yeah baby i'ma shake these hams awwwww yeaa get it gurl

the worst is people who feel the need to say MY THAT'S A FIRM HANDSHAKE

What this thread is telling me is I am gonna crush you all.

NOW THERE'S A HANDSHAKE YOU COULD STORM OMAHA BEACH WITH

that's when you pull them into a jive/two step

bububuh shake rattle n roll

DOODILY DOOT DOOT DOOT DADOOBYDOOBY DOODOODOODOOO

i shake plenty of hands and as far as breaking the ice socially it's pretty useful albeit sometimes awkward to be able to just point your hand at someone to force them to acknowledge you

the two handed handshake and handshake-grip-pull-into-bro-hug are also moves i'm familiar with, it can be funny if you dont take it seriously

i just mean that when you have as many male siblings as i do the greeting rituals can get a bit elaborate

whenever someone gives me a firm handshake i'm secretly thinking, dude you're not schwarzenegger, i'm not carl weathers, and this isn't predator.

― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, March 12, 2013 1:03 AM (11 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

weird. i think the exact opposite during a handshake.

eskimo kiss or nothing final offer

― lag∞n, Monday, March 11, 2013 9:12 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

that's racist

:DDD @ the last 50 posts

okay final offer racist kiss

the other cool thing to do is to grab their hand and shake it and then keep on shaking it and shaking it and staring them in the eye and shaking it and shaking it until

oneness

sew your hand closed and keep shakin it and keep shakin it

classic business meeting maneuver: go in for the handshake, but just as u r abt to make contact, jerk yr hand away and slick your hair back

it lets them know: hey this guy is p cool, I hope he is making enough money to support that swagger and also he is rly concerned about the spread of disease, he is saving my company i dunno a million dollars in healthcare costs and lost sick days also where did he get those sick shades????

shake hands then immediately have yr assistant give you a squirt of purell aka the george w bush

more like the George fuggayou bush, shake hands and have my assistant squirt THEIR hands w Purell, they're the unclean ones

i always lick my index and ring finger (not nec in that order) before shaking hands

nah for real tho, best handshake is firm, right handed with eye contact and a warm smile, optional reacharound with your left hand depending on how familiar u r w them

shake their hand firmly and look them square in the eye, as ur friend sneaks around to goose them

http://www.youjustmademylist.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/hip_hop_handshake.jpg

do as the dogs do, for they have no hands to shake
sniff each others junk vigorously, what quick friends you will make!