Blue Saturday

it's fine to think about Wilson Philips imo, i don't think i want to go back to the early 90s tho unless i get to take foreknowledge with me

i'd probably just make the same mistakes all over

Q. is Abba's "Slipping Through My Fingers" the most heartbreaking song ever written?

heartbroken maybe. just completely flat out destroyed by what parenthood is.

it's amazing how fucking awful i can feel without doing a single thing all day

that's not amazing; it's natural imo

yeah, i don't know about natural but i know there are deep currents that do more to affect my mood than the mundane stuff on the surface. maybe doing nothing just makes that more powerful cos there's nothing to counter-balance them.

The Dogon say their astronomical knowledge was given to them by the Nommos, amphibious beings sent to Earth from Sirius for the benefit of mankind. The name comes from a Dogon word meaning 'to make one drink', and the Nommos are also called 'Masters of the Water', the 'Monitors', and the 'Teachers'. According to Dogon mythology, Nommo was the first living being created by Amma, the sky god and creator of the universe. He soon multiplied to become six pairs of twins. [This is a metaphor for our original 12-strand DNA. Our present physical DNA contains 2 strands which hold the genetic codes for our physical evolvement.]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v165/noodle_vague/untitled_zps2401be8c.jpg

http://i298.photobucket.com/albums/mm258/mapung072/PocongGaulsss1.jpg

haven't even got the strength to tell door-to-door charity collector to fuck off. feel more tired and zombified sober than i ever used to feel drunk.

V early days man.

sorry for gnawing the same bone. typing helps me keep shit at arms' length.

i just realised, what i'm craving so badly is the big warm hug of intoxication. in the absence of other hugs, it's the dreamiest swoon possible. and it's very hard to go around all day not thinking about a thing, especially the thing that yr cellular biology is screaming for.

frying onions to make hot dogs to make myself not think about pubs and barlight and nicotine and alcohol and bliss.

Hey Noods I am thinking of you and sending telepathic non boozy hugs your way. What you're doing is important and impressive and thank you for sharing it here. That is all.

NV you need to get some soft of latex hands and arms wired up to your PC so we can all takes turns in giving you cyber hugs (strictly nothing kinky, that's extra). Take care mister, rooting for you here!

This day has given the earth an entirely new aspect. The world would have gone to destruction The New Era Two Thousand Years Ago. had there not streamed forth from him who is now born a common blessing.

Rightly does he judge who recognises in this birth-day the beginning of life and of all the I powers of life; now is that time ended when men pitied themselves for being born.

From no other day does the individual or the community receive such benefit as from this natal day, full of blessing to all.

The Providence which rules over all has filled this man with such gifts for the salvation of the world as designate him as Saviour for us and for the coming generations; of wars he will make an end, and establish all things worthily.

By his appearing are the hopes of our forefathers fulfilled; not only has he surpassed the good deeds of earlier time, but it is impossible that one greater than he can ever appear.

The birth-day of God has brought to the world glad tidings that are bound up in him.

From his birth-day a new era begins.

Inscription in Asia Minor dedicated to Augustus Caesar, 9 BCE

sometimes i get sick of the sight of my own inner voice. maybe try to give it a rest.

Watched tree of life yday, v much inner voicing since tbh

i've not seen it. i know what you mean tho.

Oh you must, you must

My inner voice is a right dick

Therapist telling me I wouldn't talk to my friends like that so I didn't have to talk to myself like that was a O_O revelation. I was 36 at the time.

i wuz thinking of my inner voice as manifested on ILX tbh :p

my ilx inner voice more of a bore than a dick, harder to fix. oh wait is that me being a dick to myself? shit.

Think the point of my inner voice is to be the resource of considerations/sounding board/avenues i dont get from friends, ms mac, family. ilx probably closest alright, in the absence of idk god

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WXYjm74WFI

Is this the place to check in when you're bored and lonely and a little bit drunk? Family are on holiday for the weekend and my mates are all out at some Gilles Peterson thing tonight which I missed all the tickets for. So here I am on Easter Sunday with a bottle of vodka and Tusk on cd. I could have sworn it wasn't meant to be like this

yeah, Sundays are bad enough at the best of times but the bank holiday just adds an extra layer of numbness to the air. i dunno if anything was meant to be like this but you keep plodding thru cos the alternative sucks, maybe skip "Walk a Thin Line" or something, we'll all hang in there together

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMRX6Wnvn-U

checking in

the bank holiday just adds an extra layer of numbness to the air

^^^ YES, and still another day of this to go. I should be taking this 4 day weekend and using it to get on with some stuff but, pffft fuggedaboutit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvIW2mnVWmE

thx for beautiful tunes guys.

counting positives: got a bunch of washing done, cooked myself actual food, kept Hannah's goldfish alive, will be with the kids again in 2 days time.

thinking hard about why i've fucked up so much of my life is the first step to not making the same fuck-ups in future, i guess. or maybe in the big scheme of things fucking-up is in the eye of the up-fucker.

^^^^
the last part of your sentence- a zen fortune cookie

Gluck all

reflecting on my squandered double-length weekend, the unknown quantity of my new boss-to-be who starts tomorrow, my fear of other people or is it just myself, possible causes of my current stomach cramps

best wishes NV and other blue bank holidayers

i've wasted a whole week if it's any consolation :)
and i'm gonna spend most of this one at mom and dad's :/

Counting down the minutes till I can go back to bed tbh

i'm on a washing tear today and yesterday, which only goes to show how much i needed to do. the house is like a little oven cos it's the only way to get stuff dry. i'll settle for a point at St Andrew's and a cheeky takeaway for tea tbh.

Wolves are 1-0 up!

just rushed to the non-Prem thread to celebrate lol

had a drink a couple of weeks ago but was too embarrassed to admit it. got it back under control i hope. problem is finding it hard to care. sobriety doesn't make my head better or the world better, both are fucked forever. i just can't afford the alternative. been thinking about evaporating or popping like a bubble, or wasting away in my own little cell. tapped out. useless.

aw shit got an appointment with occ health, better go front.

what is it about being unable to take good advice? laziness? stubbornness? unconscious desire to be doomed? don't even know what character traits are or where they come from or how you change them tbh but maybe that's down to lalalala not listening or not trying i dunno circularity

feel like i'm constructing a How Not To manual

best wishes NV

laziness? stubbornness? unconscious desire to be doomed?

feeling this quite a lot tbh

^

howaya btw

nood have you read infinite jest?

i've always assumed i won't like DFW

have u read tuesdays with morrie