Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

My goodness, I do declare etc.

I always keep the "things ladies say" thread in the back of my head for those kinds of situations

I had a similar situation yesterday -- was biking to work, and some dude riding on the sidewalk and not looking came off the curb right at me, so I had to make a hard swerve to my left to avoid maiming both of us. I yelled, "Yo, dude, heads up!" I am not the kind of person who usually uses "yo," "dude" or "heads up."

My response in those situations is usually "Dude, what the fuck!"

It was only 7:00am, I wasn't on my game.

The other day I was riding in the bike lane on a Brooklyn street in broad daylight and a man crossed the street and almost walked right into me without ever turning to look for traffic. He had like 4 ppl behind him all talking, which was what he was looking at instead, so I couldn't even go AROUND THEM because they were strung across both lanes. I was reduced to shouting, "SIR! SIR! EXCUSE ME!" while braking like crazy until one of his companions pulled him up.

After I passed, he yelled a lot of things about how I should have a bell. Because me SHOUTING AT HIM was totally ineffective at getting his attention.

Also DON'T CROSS TWO LANES OF TRAFFIC COMPLETELY BLIND, MAYBE.

Just carry around a bell and throw it at people's heads.

Once a kid was trying to sell me candy bars and I said, "Go on, kid. Beat it." Because when I'm not a NYC cabbie, I'm pulp detective, I guess.

I just don't talk like that when I'm thinking about it. But it does give me hope that if I'm ever in a situation where I'm cornered by a bad guy who thinks he's got me dead to rights but doesn't see that my partner/a monster/the fuzz is about to get the drop on him, I'll say something really awesome in the heat of the moment.

I'll probably say, "Yo, dude, heads up!" Which would be characteristic, unfortunately.

"irrationally angry" maybe isn't the phrase for it but whenever i'm watching a tv show and it begins with a flash forward and then 30 seconds later cut to black and "48 hrs earlier" or something...kind of a minor pet peeve of mine.

yes agreed, that shit does not work in television

You know, that just happened in a book I was reading and I mentally rolled my eyes about it. It's overdone. Although I think Breaking Bad uses that to really good effect.

i think it works on breaking bad ok, and it was effective in the classic film 'starship troopers' but generally speaking i despise it. i feel like it was used particularly poorly in BSG and alias or something.

Although I think Breaking Bad uses that to really good effect.

oh man, that pink teddy bear can fuck right off, i hate that shit

I was thinking of the way they started this last season, which was very intriguing. But I was okay with the teddy bear, too. It was a little silly, definitely, but I was surprised and satisfied with the way the whole thing resolved.

I'm sick of the phrase "tipping point".

All of a sudden the AM reception in my car went to shit. Listening to sports talk radio really ameliorates the crappiness of my commute, so this has been not fun.

i didn't mind the pink teddy bear on breaking bad but i wish they'd just done it the one time before the first episode rather than what seemed like every episode.

when you buy clementines but they turn out to be mandarins

55yo men who wear sensible chequed short-sleeved shirts (tucked in), beige shorts and beige shoes to restaurants, and say things like 'I'M TOO OLD'

when there's identical twins and people go 'oh wow they look so alike' as though that were unexpected

That small provincial branches of supermarkets used to sell nice boxes of e.g. Lindt chocolates and now just sell those crappy Thorntons Classic boxes

(Thorntons do still make some nice stuff but it doesn't make it to supermarkets. Not that I imagine Lindt's best chocolate is ending up in a £6 box in a British supermarket either.)

(it is the day before Mother's Day in the UK - don't panic, it's not for 2 months everywhere else in the world - and I am trying to find something which doesn't look crap without having to get my cheap, lazy arse on a bus to some real shops)

That it sounds like the flat next door is being stripped and I've not been told anything about it. Seems to be a lot of plaster flying around next door and plaster dust has an allergic reaction with my skin.
Just hd a lot of earth shaking noise, banging that I physically felt going on.
Would have thought the landlord might have told me something since I have the same one as next door.

When a website assigns you a password that's a string of 25 random characters. You could assign a unique password to every single human who's ever lived on Planet Earth and not need that many characters.

The ppl in line ahead of me at peets yesterday. I have never heard such a crazy ocd order on my life.

one of those ice drink things: extra EXTRA caramel, extra coffee grounds, extra ice, 5 extra pumps of syrup. Repeat order twice. INSIST on extra extra caramel and ask THREE times to confirm they got the extra caramel. Then stand at the bar and watch the barista like a hawk
- more caramel
- more ice. way more. no that's too much.
- more caramel. can you put some on the inside the cup itself too.
- ad nauseum.
no lie, this whole thing took 20 minutes.

and finished off with a laughing Oh you'll get used to us! we come in here every day in the summer!

mental note find new peets. i just wanted a fucking pepsi i mean latte

When a website assigns you a password that's a string of 25 random characters. You could assign a unique password to every single human who's ever lived on Planet Earth and not need that many characters.

DO NOT WRITE DOWN YOUR PASSWORD

DO NOT STORE YOUR PASSWORD

YOUR PASSWORD IS kdb1eyc3k3ew88hg6irne727hcis31kw32ufjekrvfi896eneyfo17ebe4hfkfj

when we moved house, iinet emailed me the password i've been using for seven years. emailed, in plain text.

The ppl in line ahead of me at peets yesterday. I have never heard such a crazy ocd order on my life.

sorry, we'll try to find another peets :(

kdb1eyc3k3ew88hg6irne727hcis31kw32ufjekrvfi896eneyfo17ebe4hfkfj

wait, that's my password

hey that's mine too

xxpost J'ACCUSE!

i KNEW IT

wtf, that's my MIDDLE NAME

YOUR PASSWORD IS w41tth4t5myp255w0rdh3yth4tsm1n3t00xxp05tJ4CCU53!iKN3W1Twtfth4t5myM1DDL3N4M3

MEMORISE IT NOW

DO NOT WRITE IT DOWN

That password is already in use. Try a new one using characters from non-Latin alphabets.

xp You f***ing scammers! That's my grandmother's maiden name! Which I use as the secret question on all websites that require one.

why did I forget your birthday? oh no reason except I have to memorize a 25 DIGIT PASSWORD AND I HAVE NO ROOM IN MY BRAIN FOR ANYTHING ELSE

YOUR NEW PASSWORD IS لوحةالمفاتيحالعربيةأَبْجَدِيَّةعَرَبِيَّةศุภลักษณ์မြန်မာဘာသာहिन्दीखबरोंकाविशालजालस्थल

nooooooooooooooo

DO NOT WRITE IT DOWN. DO NOT REPEAT IT TO ANYONE. DO NOT USE HINDI OR BURMESE CHARACTERS. SHUT UP.

DO NOT USE VOWELS. DO NOT USE KNOWN SUFFIXES OR PREFIXES. DO NOT CRY

YOUR NEW PASSWORD IS:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a7/Inca_Quipu.jpg

Then stand at the bar and watch the barista like a hawk

As a former barista, I can say this is an incredibly effective way of making absolutely sure that I piss in your fucking coffee.

if i'm not happy with a barista i ~go to another barista~

sounds pretty straightforward tbh

another ia: when you suggest taking drastic measures to remove a stain from some clothing that has already ruined the clothing, and some bell-end goes 'NO NO DON'T DO THAT YOU'LL RUIN IT'

uh it's already ruined, brain box

burn it

but what if that burns it