God bless the goddamn Onion

is anyone reading them

the Community handwringing is doing more to drive me away from AV Club than the layout ever could

― my super interesting Kant story (DJP), Friday, March 1, 2013 2:42 PM (5 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the Community reviews especially, I looked at one lately and it seemed like the writer was trying to get it all out before he burst into tears at the loss of Dan Harmon

― ta-nehisi goatse (fadanuf4erybody), Monday, March 4, 2013 11:42 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i see only evidence of 'handwringing' and 'looking' case dismissed

i remember maybe the one time last year i sought out a tv recap was the Eagleheart episode where the last five minutes was just a parody of the ET Ride at Universal Studios, which I thought was such a surreal topic for a TV show that I just wanted to see if anyone had something to say about it. The EXPERT at the onion who recaps 15 minute Adult Swim shows didnt even recognize the ride and the comments savaged him and it was like "What is the point of all this?" but then I guess I technically googled it so

i tried to find a recap of a house of cards episode cause i totally forgot one of the plot threads and was confused but then i couldnt

i've found recaps useful as service-y things for when i didn't pay attention to some episode because i was reading or something and it didn't seem that good or interesting, so i'm not going to watch it again, but i may want to know continuing plot points or something or remind myself who some character is that all of a sudden ends up dead or something. so on the one hand they're these service-y, useful things that are handy to have around.

on the other hand, they're really intern fare at best and i can't imagine how miserable it would be to have to write them all the time for an actual living.

(loved hamilton's gawker recaps of girls season one though, which were pure foam flecked bile)

i looked at the vulture rss feed recently and some poor guy was still recapping, in extensive detail, recent episodes of 'the office,' and it was like, poor guy

"the one guy made a creepy sex joke again and then the main dude looked into the camera."

but like, 1500 words of that. can you imagine

with a lot of like, musing, about jim's character and stuff

it was like 95% musing

"the one guy made a creepy sex joke again and then the main dude looked into the camera."

― man wii u (Whiney G. Weingarten), Wednesday, March 6, 2013 8:59 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ha i would read them if they were in that voice

the receptionist is perky, so perky, plz let me go

tv recaps are like if every record review was like the ones that just describe what happens on the album, as if you can't pull it up on Spotify.

"Then the galloping drums stop on a dime and bixler-zavala lets out a bone chilling howl. The bass sputters for air."

with a lot of like, musing, about jim's character and stuff

― zero dark (s1ocki), Wednesday, March 6, 2013 9:00 AM

it was like 95% musing

― zero dark (s1ocki), Wednesday, March 6, 2013 9:01 AM

I bet they don't even pay that well! That's sad.

Vulture let Patton Oswalt recap "American Idol" a few seasons ago and it was pretty hilarious.

David Sims's recaps for the Kevin Bacon show, "The Following" have been funny because he clearly hates the shit out of the show. e.g.,

…wait a second. That FBI agent? The one who’s not (R.I.P.) Reilly? Or Debra? Or Shawn Ashmore? The other one? Played by Dean Alai, apparently? Well he goes by the name of DAVID SIMS. WITH ONE M. I found this out when checking the IMDb credits for this episode while writing this review. Has anyone said this guy’s full name on screen? I’m genuinely frightened and also impressed with Kevin Williamson’s forethought. How did he know I’d be reviewing this show/that I’d hate it so much?

yeah i mean i'll post on an ilx thread about a show sometimes right after the episode, but i can't imagine having DEADLINES of "oh, the episode ended 20 minutes ago, gotta finish this 3k-word treatise on it!"

the seven best ways to kill jim shoot darts into his eyes when he looks at the camera ep5 s12 office recap

i can't imagine spending more than 5 seconds reading one of those hate-recaps

I don't want to dwell on the shows I hate, like Girls.

you know what else bugs me, is those posts, usually in the awl, that are in a "conversational" or IM format, with lots of exclamation marks

gah. I'm starting to have opinions about tv recaps

Wait, it wasn't Patton Oswalt, it was Paul F. Tompkins: http://www.vulture.com/2011/01/american_idol_paul_f_tompkins_1.html

PFT is hilarious but im still not gonna read those

so it is just telling people what the plot of an ep was, like it sounds?

jfc

― a phenomenological description of The Eagles (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, March 6, 2013 4:14 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

why is it a thing?

― a phenomenological description of The Eagles (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, March 6, 2013 4:14 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

It's for people who sat through an entire hour of a program and somehow, didn't catch on to a single detail of the plot.

"The episode reached a crescendo when Miss Kitty told Marshall Dillion in the third act that she 'had some girls waiting' for her in Topeka. This marks the first time in the show's history that a direct implication has been made that Kitty runs a brothel in Dodge City. (Editor's Note - Turns out she was talking about her sisters. Nevermind.)"

suspect recap culture is a late symptom of generation-limbo-style credentialized compulsory 'middle class' college education. hunger for INTERPRETATION of culture-consumables. somehow tv-recaps are like the worst version of it, worse than yelp.

― j., Wednesday, March 6, 2013 1:40 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hang on let's not go crazy here

now it's more like a pure joyless consumerist time-filler.

this has to be the description for some board

"some"

you know what else bugs me, is those posts, usually in the awl, that are in a "conversational" or IM format, with lots of exclamation marks

― zero dark (s1ocki), Wednesday, 6 March 2013 14:21 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah, that recent George Saunders interview, argh. And when writers put "(laughs)" in an interviewee's response.

They were re-capping Arrested Development lately and it seemed odd cos i thought they had already gone through every episode, and were now doing so again.

I read the classic Simpsons ones. They aren't particularly good but I haven't seen most of those shows in years, and having a recap reminds me of a particularly amazing joke that i would otherwise wouldn't exactly come to mind when reading the title "Deep Space Homer" or whatever. Those old episodes are so jam-packed with things going on.

But yeah he is kind of bored, you can tell. At the end of every single episode review he never strays from saying "The next one is ____________. That's a good one, if memory serves."

ok now i really want to read an epistolary novel written in the form of a series of tv recaps.

with important developments occurring in arguments in comment sections.

Yeah, that recent George Saunders interview, argh. And when writers put "(laughs)" in an interviewee's response.

― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, March 6, 2013 11:57 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

(laughs)

its great because it shows you made a good joek and they laughed at your joke and you are a funny writer!

show, don't tell

(laughs, thanks interviewer for bringing a ray of sunshine into his life)

(laughs)
(gazes down throat)
(oneness)

The only good tv recapping is when Jon Wurster asks if you've seen the last episode of Archie Bunker's Place, the one they only showed once.

(laughs, but later goes home and cries)

oh i like IM-format articles, so easy to read

also there isn't a single "Laughs" in the saunders intvw

oh sorry there is a [laughter] and a [laughing] but its saunders laughing at his own jokes

the saunders interview isnt even like an IM, it's like a regular q&a

you guys are baffling

[laughter]

(baffs)

Can't spell save a ho without A&V.

i would never ride for av club, im defending the awl here

i like q&as/interviews, particularly with an interesting subject, but when it's two writers riffin' on like, the oscars or something, i hate it

They usually end up making me hate at least one of the writers.