Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

this is counter consensus now but i was going to advise, if you like the guy, laugh this off. for now.

all caveats apply of course but i'm left wondering what he might have intended by telling you he had gone off the net because of you

If he had meant, well, I like you and I'm pretty well settled up for now, he could have just said that. I don't know, it definitely felt manipulative, but I do not understand his intentions at all. He clearly doesn't want a serious relationship, but I don't know what the point was of mentioning the various states of his profile. I guess it was some test of my feelings. Which I resent.

Rightly so.

it might be time for me to quit okcupid.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text1_zps6b86d082.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text2_zps8052c5ce.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text3_zpsad0dfca3.png

ahahahaARRRRRGHH

daaaaag

onlylove4you is taken, huh? How about onlylove4you2? 3? hmm...

i just thought his use of CLASSY LADY was really kinda hinting at misogyny there

I wonder if other people got the same email? It definitely sounded like a form. That guy is mental.

haha. godspeed jarrod in finding your lady with class to her.

omg that guy is terrrrrrrrrrrrrible

welcome, Doctor Casino!

that guy in all his glory has inspired me to say: i signed up for okcupid just to check the profile of some guy a friend was talking about, but now i'm kinda tempted to start using it properly. my two stumbling blocks are that every profile i look at makes the person seem at least a little bit annoying (so perhaps i'm just not cut out for this as a way of getting in touch with people?) and the obvious corollary that i wouldn't know how to go about not making my own profile annoying. any general tips?

i have no tips on making yr profile non-annoying, but i found that several drinks were u&k to the process

IRL advice, that

embrace your own annoyingness, someone might want to be annoying with you

Don't overthink it. Don't try to put your whole being on there. Don't be too serious and don't be too cute. There, that help?

#1 rule: avoid hemming, hawing, couching your statements and undercutting them with flop-sweat desperation and/or forced quirk. I also stand by answering a shit-ton of the questions, going public on the answers, and taking the time to be thoughtful about the ranked priorities of the answers. Can become a total time-sink rabbit-hole, but the question-matching is the whole basis of their matching system, so if you do it a lot, you can have some confidence than anyone below, like, 90% match is just not going to work.

And remember: you will never be as annoying as Jarrod

Yeah, I think it's a good strategy to have a brief profile (with enough for conversational fodder) & lots of questions answered

Like you seriously don't need to list every band you like. You're just creating a sketch.

Definitely, everything is a short-hand signifier. Just have to have something there that someone COULD use as a hook to talk about. I may have said this upthread sometime, but Ihate profiles that have like, kooky mysterious one-liners for all the categories and then say "Don't message me unless you have something specific to talk about" or whatever, it's like...gimme something to work with!

surpassing Jarrod does sound like an easy enough target. This all sounds like good advice, thanks, and usefully I think I'm the kind of person who could also get some enjoyment from answering thousands of pointless questions.

yeah leave them wanting more. theoretically

some sort of anecdotal hook is probably good? even if it's like 'oh you hate carrots?' it offers your suitors something to write more than what's up.

yes that example is lame but i do hate carrots

Basically the main value of OKCupid is to establish that people are single and interested, and then remove from the pool of consideration huge swaths of people who you will never ever click with. It really makes a difference to make stuff like core political/moral beliefs, or philosophies about relationships "mandatory" on the questions. Still doesn't guarantee that I'll be attracted to the high-matching people or that we'll click or whatever, but that's why if you message and they message back and you both seem basically interested, you agree to have a drink, take a deep breath, and go see how it is.

the most important advice I could possibly give, based on my fairly extensive experiences, is that meeting quickly is the best thing you can do, and getting stuck into lengthy email exchanges the worst, even though it will not seem so at the time

so yeah you don't have to be that discerning online, just make sure a few key venn intersections are populated, including your next mutually unoccupied afternoon/evening

and hey, you never know

Core political/moral belief i have is that i dont rly need to police prospective friends/partners on theirs, i think? At least, if the 'click' is what yr after, the click is often not all that convenient(/boring)

Doctor C, are you on OkC?

(tbf, in my terminal engagement, I kinda did know, but that was some weird cosmic-confluence shit yeah)

yup, for about....uh...nine years now. (Yikes.) It's netted me two very dear friends and several other good things besides, not counting my current primary lady acquaintance about town. There's a lot that's legitimately fucked up about the site, but for me personally that's a pretty good track record for a free website. I'd vouch for it.

re Darragh's comment - I would like to think that I am thoughtful and open in that way but rly as a working class Scot Tories are basically cartoon villains to me except I suppose quite a lot of them actually exist in London, maybe even in nice person disguises, so.

ime you dont have to be thoughtful about it, as a working class scot im p sure you're fit to argue about stuff, like

well i sucked all of the working class spark out of myself with a life of academia tbh.

Put that in your "about me"

Haha absolutely

done and done.

I sort of did the opposite and let my freak flag fly and made my profile really quirky, it doesn't reallywork don't be like me and die alone #protip

i understand that you're a good match with everyone's asian friend tho

lol -_- a lot of times I wonder if u were to ask the ppl I messaged would they just say 'im just not attracted to asians I'm sorry... I'm not racist tho'

gonna say that part of the reason I stopped going on the site was this: http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/

http://i.imgur.com/sW6O5te.png

http://i.imgur.com/skmOriL.png

at this point I'm just like

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/9627011/photos/seinfeld.gif

You left a dating website cos ppl are ppl?

hah well also everybody's profile was starting to look really same-y

Homo II your response to that loser was AMAZING. Kudos to you, girl.

Haha someone just starred/"chose" me and I got an email about it and I wrote him back half trying to talk him out of it (he is a vegetarian non-smoker, are you sure you want to go down this road, etc). I mean, nicely. And I called him cute. But I am not taking shit about Budweiser later on if I was up front about it now.

otm, start as you mean to go on.

My last OKC date tried to dissuade me from drinking Bud because of the company's business practices. Look, I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, brah.

As a vegetarian non-smoker, I attract carnivorous smokers like damn. And that guy harassing HomoII is why I basically never message anyone ever. About to meet a lady from OKC who it turns out works about 500 feet from my apartment. Plus: lunchtime trysts Minus: awkward looks on the way home from work every day for the next five years. PLUS WINS

Let me rephrase that, I am drunk. Most of the women I end up meeting for dates and such are carnivorous smokers.

just disabled my account

homo II, don't leave, you have allot to offer