Let's Win the New Yorker Caption Contest

ttj

atm

???

http://static6.depositphotos.com/1005647/562/i/450/dep_5625584-Angry-woman.jpg

"Hey J. J., this guy wants talk about some medal he thinks he should finally get."

"I think you two might be related"

"Carl, I want you to resolve your differences with the base."

"Star Wars Episode VII: Middle Management Cocktail Party"

"I'm sorry, but you drew the short straw in the random orgy draw."
"That's OK. Actually I don't mind bald men."

"Bob, meet Chuckles the Chimp. He's the artist who drew those two pictures on the wall behind us. He's one of the artists up for a Turner Prize this year!"

That doesn't scan, let me try again...

"Bob, meet Chuckles the Chimp. He drew those two pictures on the wall behind us. He's one of the artists up for a Turner Prize this year!"

"We're all wearing hair suits, but this guy is hirsute!"

"The cartoonist is so bad, he couldn't even draw those curtains!"

Primate: "What kind of animal drinks a can of beer at a cocktail party?"

Tasteless option: "I really thought the post-9/11 cleanup in my apartment would be done better, but that's what I get for hiring gorillas."

Memebase option: "Now, kiss."

http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/03/11/p465/130311_contest_p465.jpg

"Watch out, there's a train coming."

Edgy new Tom & Jerry reboot.

"Here's the deal: I get the milk, you get the cheese. And if mouse-scum fucks with you in there, give 'em the holes."

"That's ridiculous, your tiny finger can't even reach the trigger."

"This is a mousehole-d up."

"Don't blame me, bro! I was born with a face like this, and I never put those pics online."

"You're just using that gun to compensate for a small penis."

"Don't point that gun at me. I didn't remove that section of wall with the Banksy piece on it."

"I'm a cat. I don't have any money."

"I know that Blue Peter is trying to be more 'street', but you're not going to pass the audition like this."

"Your names not down you're not coming in. And I've got a gun. And you're clearly to big to get through the door."

"A gun doesn't make you a big man, Stuart."

"I used to have a sawn-off shotgun, but it was too big to be practical."

"Calm down, I just want to see the big cheese."

"This aint Florida, buddy."

"it would be easier to pun on this situation if you had a musket rather than a revolver."

"ok, so we talk".

"Who are you, Snoop Mousy Mouse?"

(narrating) "For a second I totally forget about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing, and I wonder how clean that gun is."

"Given the relative sizes of both the gun and the skirting board, we must both be enor-mouse!"

"Don't be stupid kid. Nine lives, six shots, you do the maths"

^ good one

Nine lives, six shots, you do the math

leave it at that and that's the winner imo

Ha i fuckin knew the maths would need yankeed

and the first part, too! you do the hard work, and we whittle it down to the purest expression

I bow to the decision of the committee

"ok, so we talk".

yes

a+++ dn dmac

Yeah, slept on imo tbph

Does anyone actually enter these into the competition?

For the "tall picture frame on desk" cartoon, the New Yorker's picked these three for the vote:

"Damn, I loved that giraffe."

"It's my extended family."

"I love her. And she can dunk."

All of these are unbelievably weak. The one about the three kids in a coat upthread is a million times better.

Threadstarter pushed to pin of collar, world watches

Can i just say that the new yankee workshop is the best

^^it really is, love that show