Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

The other guy I have a big crush on also has kids and for the first time that one doesnt bother me so much? I dont know why!

(just reminiscing about such merry events as when i thought, for no good reason, that the ex-wife and i were galpals so i told her a graphic anecdote about a funny sexual mishap where her ex-husband and i were fucking on our horrible boss' bed and almost got caught. she just said "god a'mighty damn, jesse" and later i got in big trouble w/ my bf for not understanding how to act like a normally socialized member of society.)

Been talking to a sex toy inventor.

who said your town isn't glamorous

I don't know why I'm picturing someone who looks somewhat like Mr. Monopoly except wearing a tophat that's covered in dildos and buttplugs.

Suddenly getting a storm of 50-75% compatible people looking at my profile. Weird.

I got a storm of like 40 people looking at my profile from Utah yesterday

"Greetings from Okinawa! What brand cigarette do you like to smoke?"

Well thats one of the more bizarre messages Ive recieved.

Is it someone in the US military?

^^^probably not helping

almost ten years in and they're still shooting civilians, damn fuckin straight they're not helping, but bit of a derail doncha think

so this lad bond looks kind of halfassed but quite a finisher

not bond, bale

wait am I not helping or the possible military ties?

the american military ties for trayce, of course

there is a thread for both of those things, if you are only talking about two things, it is hard to tell tbph

yeah. i am a poorer poster than ever right now, sorry

we have a thread for that iirc

Im so confused.

no need -- exceedingly poorly formed joeks is all

Anyway nfi if the guy was miliatari - his thumbnail pic was of a bald old white guy so... possibly? I didnt click on his profile to find out. I dont like giving overt pageviews to ppl I dont wanna encourage.

What a dispiriting week of cupiding. Some male rights boy with Jared Leto hair tryin to call me out on being feminist.

I did talk about the fake Parthenon with some guy, which was cool, I guess, but he's in Tennessee. No more long distance.

A ffs, why do people think a message that just says, "hey" or something is gonna pique anyone's interest?

Guy I went to ATP with I havent had a chance to catch up with again yet. Trying to just be cool with that cos he did just have a death in fam, so best to let him do whatever he has to do - he has specifically said he wants to catch up once he has some stuff around that sorted so I guess we'll see...

In a weird "what the heck is going on" irony though in the past week Ive had date-style wrangling with three of my IRL, already-long-known friends. One ex (stupid drunken misstep rly but hey he lives in WA so no big). One with an old mate/crush, where we're basically both going "boooh the person I'm in love with dont love me" and just enjoying the mutual comfort. And last night another old old friend that im fond of, whining to each other on FB while drinking about how horrible OKC is, so I... asked him on a date? Kind of as a joke, but he was good natured (or drunk!?) enough to say "hey ok, whats the worst that could happen, we're already friends, itd be funny if nothing else!".

My life is weird.

haha, I have a friend who keeps getting cock-blocked by dead relatives. I'm starting to think she may unwittingly be cursing these poor fellows.

Heh oh dear! My housemate had a similar run of bad luck all with the same girl he really liked a lot - every time they organised a date, he came down seriously ill. I mean we're talking flu and then norovirus. He felt so guilty, because I suppose it must have looked like "Im making this up to blow you off" but he really really wasnt!

There needs to be a function where once you start seeing someone you can't view his profile anymore. I suppose that function is called "self-control," but I did not come equipped with that. Guy I'm seeing now (not terribly inspiring from upthread, but turned out to be pretty cool) put up some new, cute pictures and narrowed his age parameters to exclude me. Graaaaa. More bothersome is the annoying, mindfucky exchange I had with him about it (initiated by him).

Oh no, poor guy! Yeah, I do try to give people leeway on the sick thing. People really do get sick!

Guy I'm seeing now (not terribly inspiring from upthread, but turned out to be pretty cool) put up some new, cute pictures and narrowed his age parameters to exclude me.

Wait, whaaa? That sounds ominous not to mention kind of rude and weird!?

Or is it not a serious thing betwixt youse?

So me and guy have been getting on quite well: great sex, lotta laughs, I met a couple of his friends, he cooked dinner for me. We've chilled pretty much every day, at his behest, I might add. Pretty low-pressure & nice, but definitely we're fucking dating, ok.

So off the cuff he mentions that he deactivated his profile, and I'm all "pff, no you didn't," because this guy enjoys razzing me. But of course I look & he has. Whatever. Then a couple days later he makes some comment about wanting to be spread his seed or whatever & I'm all, "so why'd you take down your profile" and he's all, "I put it back up." And I'm all, "well, what was the point of telling me you'd taken it down to begin with?" and he's all, "it doesn't matter, right?" and I'm all, "yeah, it doesn't matter, so why did you bring it up?"

Seriously what the fuck is that. He has definitely said some heteronormative "girls are emotional"-type bullshit, but afaict he's the one being all fucking weird.

ps. there was never any discussion of or desire for exclusivity, but he seems to be giving me the old "don't get attached" runaround, which is pretty fucking interesting as he was the one initiating all the date-y behavior & wanting to hang out EVERY FUCKING DAY.

Overwhelmed and Creeped Out: Inventing a Dating App That Women Will Actually Use

From the Web-based heavy hitters like OkCupid, eHarmony, and Plenty of Fish on down to newer apps like Skout, How About We, and MeetMoi, they’re all developed by men. This might not seem like a big deal, until you consider one read on why Grindr has been so successful: the app has a “for us by us” appeal to gay men. But when it comes to heterosexual-dating technology, all-male co-founders represent the wants and needs of only half of their target audience. Sure, they can try to focus-group their way out of the problem, but if an app for “straight” people is to get anywhere close to Grindr’s level of success, women have to not just join out of curiosity. They have to actually use it.

emily right now is the time to date other people

yeah sounds like bad news bears tbh

Yeah, sorry to say, but it doesn't sound like that dude thinks you're dating at all seriously, emilys. I mean, it sounds like he wants everything to be very much on his terms (like hanging out every day...as long as that's what he wants). There's room for every gradation of relationshipness, but it really burns my ass when people can't just be honest about what gradation they prefer.

Yeah, thats basically what just happened to me. Everything on his terms. I think thats what made me most stubborn about NOT dropping it. I wanted the upper hand! I'm a dick.

The only game worth playing with those ppl is recognizing what they're doing before it becomes overt and cutting them off early.

Trayce, I think we have a lot in common w/r/t relationships!

Yeah, I guess ilx has spoken. Sometimes it's hard to gauge for me if mind-fuckery is actually what's going on, because a. I tend to stew and ruminate like crazy, b. I'm pretty guileless myself so don't really understand game-players, c. I always look for the best in people & cling to the good qualities.

Yeah, it's not like there was any expectation of being serious, let alone exclusive. I just don't get running that kind of game. I said I was available for casual sex, so why not just fuck and be done with it. It bums me out, because I guess I do want someone who wants to actually hang out and go to parties with me & eat dinner with me and stuff. I wasn't thinking oh yeah, this dude is the one, but I was like, oh it seems like we are legitimately kind of dating, which is novel for me. But yeah, I don't appreciate the mixed signals or the dictating of terms or the accusations of being "a girl" if I want to clarify anything.

When I say I am guileless, I am not excusing myself from sometimes being a confusing screwball jerk, but it's not something I plan out.

Nah I get that reaction. I do the same, which I guess means its never casual sex for me, I just cant not get attached.

this is counter consensus now but i was going to advise, if you like the guy, laugh this off. for now.

all caveats apply of course but i'm left wondering what he might have intended by telling you he had gone off the net because of you

If he had meant, well, I like you and I'm pretty well settled up for now, he could have just said that. I don't know, it definitely felt manipulative, but I do not understand his intentions at all. He clearly doesn't want a serious relationship, but I don't know what the point was of mentioning the various states of his profile. I guess it was some test of my feelings. Which I resent.

Rightly so.

it might be time for me to quit okcupid.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text1_zps6b86d082.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text2_zps8052c5ce.png
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v209/Mandalion/text3_zpsad0dfca3.png

ahahahaARRRRRGHH

daaaaag

onlylove4you is taken, huh? How about onlylove4you2? 3? hmm...

i just thought his use of CLASSY LADY was really kinda hinting at misogyny there

I wonder if other people got the same email? It definitely sounded like a form. That guy is mental.