itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

all my masculinity role models are trans

http://newyork.grubstreet.com/2013/02/powerful-yogurt-greek-yogurt-for-men.html

finally, a yogurt for the rest of us

20 minutes and not a single spunk joke

ILE, you disappoint me

why can't man packaging have more flair?

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/486836_605963229417777_1067887967_n.png

*pines for a double tilde gif to call my own*

If you still carry her bags, open the door for her,
tell her she's beautiful, and show her respect

Based God fucked your bitch.

oh christ these are so bad

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/535511_605961909417909_1522934006_n.png

i mean it's not surprising in the least but it's good to be forewarned that this stuff has finally migrated from tumblr to fb i guess?

(Aimless tries to spoon feed every woman he meets. Gets nothing but grief for his gentlemanly behavior.)

Wipe their asses, ground them.

gently scold them but impart wisdom to them at the same time

driving the tractor and milking cows

the comments on those fb images, i can't even

http://behance.vo.llnwd.net/profiles23/977346/projects/3285268/5a0c187b15826c238b4d5025a362e991.jpg

web touch indeed

whenever someone gives me a really firm handshake I suppress a smirk & the desire to lean in and kiss them on the cheek

I don't know what the shit it has to do with "manliness," but I do like the handshake diagrammed above.

whenever someone gives me a really firm handshake I suppress a smirk & the desire to lean in and kiss them on the cheek

― ogmor, Monday, March 11, 2013 3:50 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

<3

i hate handshakes. if i can't give you a hug you get a head nod, not touching you, sorry.

i actually put up my hand palm forward as a kind of wave but i really do it because i don't want to shake someone's hand.

SMASH THE PATRIARCHY

Manshake poster is great imo

I have small hands compared to 95% of adult men. I hate this whole firm, manly handshake aesthetic because I can't even get my fingers far enough around some other guy's beefy paw to execute a fucking firm manly grip. My hand gets swallowed and IT'S NOT MY FAULT, DAMMIT!

No its not your fault, as such, but by god it lets you know your place

everyone should just go w the limp fish the limp fish is dope

i dont shake hands i lick moustaches

i super confidently extend my left hand

Ha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpOlZ9Z6q30

Ew limp shakes are the grossest. It reads as someone with a tepid personality who doesn't really enjoy meeting you at all.

ITT I am a man.

or maybe someone with an amazing personality who doesnt really enjoy meeting you at all

Suck it up and give a good handshake for like 2 seconds of your life

i super confidently extend my left hand

the last time someone did this to me (i believe in all handshake sincerity) i confusedly extended my right hand anyway and then i suppose we held hands side by side for a second before going on our respective ways. it was very manly.

whenever someone gives me a firm handshake i'm secretly thinking, dude you're not schwarzenegger, i'm not carl weathers, and this isn't predator.

Whenever someone says hello do you object on zellwegerian terms

you had me there.

Suck it up and give a good handshake for like 2 seconds of your life

― emilys., Monday, March 11, 2013 8:57 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

eskimo kiss or nothing final offer

whenever i unexpectedly receive a firm handshake i clap the handshaker on the side of the shoulder with my left hand, chortle deeply and say 'my GOD it's good to see you, darling this was the man i was telling you about' (even if i'm with no one.)

the left hand is p croosh I do that all the time, often w/ a baguette in my right hand

my other fav is to do the limp fish but what I call the dead fish, where u dont stop extending ur arm until they grasp you by the wrist and then u let ur arm go limp and theyre just shaking ur whole arm by the wrist, its like what are you doing thats my arm

just spitballin here but what abt carrying around an actual dead fish then when they reach out hand them the fish

i like that, good take

offer forth a well disguised false arm and just as they're about to grab the hand, extend your real hand out from the sleeve and watch their expression change

extend your hand, but roll yr eyes back in yr head and lean in as you faint against them

then, after they catch you, flutter your eyes open and blush demurely

a joy buzzer set to lethal levels you shake and electricity courses through their body and into yours you both perish in the manliest murder suicide ever

eyeball lick or gtfo