ILE rolling non-slam Tennis thread

Zakopalova d. Stephens 46 76(5) 76(5) in Doha. Stephens had a MP in the second set and served for the match in both second and third sets. Hype train goes CRASH into a tree.

Not that much of a surprise, I put money on it. Zak is a minor upset artist and you could have predicted a let-down for Sloane, especially in a tournament like this.

Serena world #1 :D she was crying and went down on her knees and shit o_O

My stream cut off at 5-4 in the third and I missed the end completely... so annoyed. Not surprised though, Petra was playing juuuuust boneheadedly enough to lose.

is it wrong that i'd kind of like Sharapova to beat Serena so she goes to 2 and Azarenka drops to 3, so I never, ever have to see another Azarenka/Radwanska game?

goddamn, missed all of the last couple of days of tennis.

So Serena does care about No 1 after all, lol.

If I'd seen it I'd be gutted but as it is I'm just thrilled that Petra could play such a good match against Serena. I'd expected her to barely win games.

Did anyone see the Wozniacki drama earlier in the week? That family really is a fucking disgrace.

Fed after losing to Benneteau in Rotterdam: “I don’t want to leave, I want to play. I feel bad for the fans who don’t get to see me now."

#humble :D

He received a humble €1M to play here. Got tix for tonight, expected/wanted to see him play, damnit. Here's hoping the french hommes put on something enjoyable.

FFS WHAT IS THE POINT IN ON-COURT COACHING IF TATIANA GOLOVIN YELLS HER INANE AND OBVIOUS COMMENTS OVER THE TOP OF IT

I miss Tati on court :(

No bagels :( Disappointing, Serena.

http://tennis.si.com/2013/02/28/ernests-gulbis-quotes/?sct=tn_t2_a3

a child's treasury of ernests gulbis quotes

*refrains from uttering phrase "poor man's safin"*

lol i think even he knows he's a poor man's safin. but well <333

guess it's appropriate that today Ernie somehow beat Querrey from a double break down in the third. He smashed his racquet, got an audible obscenity warning and a point penalty...and yet that match somehow ended with Querrey DFing twice in a row from *4-5 in the TB lolllllll.

everyone wants dimitrov to happen so badly. even novak

nu-Gulbis' 13-match win streak ended today, which was predictable, but hadn't expected him to push Rafa so hard! great match. now let's just hope he doesn't lose the rest of his matches this year.

Kvitova served an entire game of DFs to lose the second set, and eventually the match, to Discount Masha. FML.

Terrible from Petra. My perennial question is: WHAT has she been working on? She fucks the same shit up every time now. She seems content to be a sporadic Peak Pierce/Sweta type and get it together only on occasion, rather than maxing out her talent.

I wonder if Ma$ha will remember the shit Ma¢ha tried to pull on her this time last year:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_3yLZTCBaE

I'm offended by the US time zones, making me miss what sounded like two great and dramatic matches last night, and the Roger/Rafa QUARTER-FINAL tonight.

I guess Gulbis will now go 0-18 for the rest of the season?

Also, how many more close losses can Stan take this year...

What kind of woeful performance by Tsonga was that

53 minutes!!!!

Someone needs to tell Del Potro that he is far too beautiful to be wearing such... hideously ugly shorts. Some beautiful tennis going on here, DP's backhand is not great but Nole is hitting wide a lot.. but some good tactics. And net play!

How the fuck has Wozniacki made a final? Oh, withdrawing Azarenka, moderately-banged up Kerber who got through because of withdrawing opponent.

Does it with an ace! Del Pony :D :D :D

only caught the last game. great stuff

Del Pontiff this week, surely. sad I missed it, fell asleep after he lost the first set.

gratz Justine on your baby girl

still miss you much <3

both my fav players of the 00s are mothers now

Myskina has a kid????

haha Myskina has about three kids

Myskina announced that she was pregnant with her first child, due in May 2008. She has previously dated Russian hockey player Konstantin Korneyev, but refuses to state the name of the father.[8] On April 28, 2008 Myskina gave birth to her first child, a boy named Zhenya (Yevgenyi). In August 2010 she gave birth to a second son[9] named Georgiy.[citation needed] On November 3, 2011 it was reported that she is pregnant with a third child, that just like the first 2, will be a son.[10] When she was interviewed about parenting with Tennis.com she quoted the following:

Being a mother is so different; it’s not that it’s quieter or faster, it’s just different. Being a mom is tough. You understand what’s good for you and the babies, while tennis is just a game. It’s fun because you have a different life when you step on the court but when the baby is sick you go crazy. When I lost a match it was really bad time, now I know it was a great time, so being a mom is tougher.
—Anastasia Myskina, Tennis.com[10]

On March 1, 2012 she gave birth to a third child, named Pavel.[11]
[edit]

she's been popping them out since she retired

lol for some reason I just assumed she was still in some weirdo basement being an artsy model

also, did we all see this absurd rally from last week?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEvq8ybeyzg#!

oh my god

the moment when Wozniacki drifts forward, hits a shitty volley, and immediately moves back to resume moonballing is pretty special

also when a Kerber moonball lands in the service box and Wozniacki responds with...a moonball

that's how Woz turned the match around, apparently.

there is a certain way in which Woz's game is fascinating, kind of like how roadkill is fascinating

holy shit @ this shot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGKIQ7ykNsU

<3 A-Rad

sharapova a set and a break up against serena. this is weird

that was more like it

the women's final was hilarious (also pretty good), the men's final was absolutely dire (also pretty hilarious)

what could be even more satisfying than seeing Sharapova humiliated yet again? seeing her humiliated even after she played lights out, with Serena playing at 30% for half the match and giving her a set and a break lead!

95 combined UEs for Murray and Ferrer, two top 5 players whose strength is supposedly their consistency and accuracy, lulz.

Weeell, as a Sharapova fan seeing her lose like that was, in the end, tragically predictable, but at the same time ten times preferrable to another "this is literally the most NID thing in sports" confirmation. Don't know if this chance will ever present itself again, but on clay she could potentially get a look at it.

I really enjoy this "Maria might beat Serena on clay" meme that's going around, but I can't see much to it. If they're playing this year on clay, it's in a final. If Serena is playing well enough to get to a final, can anyone really foresee any outcome other than a beatdown? There's nothing particularly special about Maria's clay game, it's just that she is such a flop on grass nowadays. It's not like Serena can't play on clay - she can. But early losses are just a thing she does sometimes, and when she gets to the later stages, she tends to lose to a player with good clay pedigree. Look at Serena's FO losses when she actually gives enough of a crap to get past the first few rounds, say, QF or later. Capriati twice, Henin twice, Kuznetsova once and Stosur once. Three RG champions and one player who has made three semi-finals. None of them are disgraceful losses.

Sure, Maria performed well the last two years, but it's not as if Li Na is a clay court specialist or Sara Errani has big enough weapons to challenge the true elite on any surface. Serena would mutilate Maria in the final of any clay tournament they met in this year. Serena just hates the idea that she ever lost to Sharapova (twice!) and won't allow it again until she's barely able to move.

If Sharapova beats Serena again - and odder things have happened, even Zvereva beat Graf eventually - it won't be because the surface favours her or because she discovers some magic strategy that overcomes Serena's strengths. (Getting first serves in and keeping her groundies deep is not a strategy so much as basics that she should be doing anyway; and the tactics that get Serena out of her comfort zone, like getting every ball back, are not ones that Sharapova is even capable of.) It'll be because Serena comes out flat or gets nervous, which can happen occasionally, and which might get more likely the longer Serena keeps this streak going and it's seen as more NID. Even then Maria has to be able to take advantage of it, ie not serving DFs on BPs like she did in the second set on Sat. Or maybe wait til Serena is old and decrepit but something tells me that Serena won't stick around long if she turns into a Venus.

I don't think it'll happen, am more interested in whether Aga can ever score a win over Serena.

Serena just played not that well in a big final so of course it could happen again.

And the only time Maria has looked at taking a set vs Serena the past few years before Miami 13 is on clay. It's not really about "Maria might beat Serena on clay" but "this is the only place she's had a shot".

If Aga got a second wind as the WTA Santoro I'd start liking her.

I am really loving WTA tennis right now, the only top 10 players I dislike are Azarenka and Lolzniacki

also loving the bittersweet story of David Ferrer, who must love/hate the current ATP regime even more than post-US Open Roddick

I hope Serena beats Jankovic 6-0 6-0 in the final at Charleston. Seriously, what a cake draw to the final. The hopes of delusional "Empress" stans must be dashed swiftly and completely.

Oudin, Garcia, Pegula, Bouchard, Voegele. A tough draw in 2016 perhaps.

Don't forget her Bogota title. Undefeated on clay in 2013. 10-0! She hasn't faced anyone in the top 50 during that streak - only one in the top 80 - and half those matches have been three-set shitfests.

I do love her though, the strop she threw halfway through yesterday's match was Peak Jankovic. Spent the entire TB monologuing to herself and then didn't bother calling her coach down, just yelled at him from the chair <3

The all-Williams match was so awkward, Serena pushing disinterestedly in full-on practice session mode while Venus DFed and smacked everything out or in the net. I'd been looking forward to it out of nostalgia I guess, and the knowledge that it could be the last, and it was pretty much a reminder of why I've been avoiding them for the past decade.

Oh a complete rout after losing the first set, that's even better. God, I love Serena so much now.

10 games in a row to win miami <3
her fight with jankovic during her final win in charleston <3

red clay time :'(

oh man if you can get to any source showing Youzhny/Djokovic, do so immediately

this third set is fucking incredible

yay working from home

lol, no surprise that Djokovic won (I was out) (though I saw the score and just assumed his ankle's still giving him issues)

If Youzhny wasn't a headcase he could have won; he had Djokovic legit on the ropes several times.