"So I auditioned for the 4th presenter slot on Top Gear and they said no! Apparently I wasn't controversial enough."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:24 (thirteen years ago)
"WE ARE THE MODS! WE ARE THE MODS! WE ARE THE WE ARE THE WE ARE THE MODS!"
― Tarfumes The Escape Goat, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:27 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm here to audition for the late night adult oriented re-imaging of 'Street Hawk'."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:28 (thirteen years ago)
"Instead of a rocket powered Hyperthrust, I just set light to my farts."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:30 (thirteen years ago)
"No, it's not a gearstick."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:31 (thirteen years ago)
"People are always telling me that this is a sign of a mid-life crisis."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:34 (thirteen years ago)
"I love the feeling of the wind in my hair."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:36 (thirteen years ago)
"I think if you re-read the Highway Code, you'll find that it really does say Mirror-Signal-Take All Your Clothes Off-Maneuver."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:37 (thirteen years ago)
"Pull over, this is the Naked Police. You are under a vest."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:42 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/11/p465/130211_contest_p465.jpg
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:43 (thirteen years ago)
"Hey, watch that you don't collide with that cartoonist's signature that's been carelessly left in the road."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:44 (thirteen years ago)
"You remind me of that Bjork album, Vespa Teen."
― EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:45 (thirteen years ago)
"I nearly got pulled over by the cops back there. I guess it's because my bike doesn't have rear-view mirrors."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:46 (thirteen years ago)
"your scarf appears to be asymmetrical, this lack of propriety offends me."
― hot young stalin (Merdeyeux), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:48 (thirteen years ago)
"I really shouldn't be riding this bike. I had a skinful last night."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:51 (thirteen years ago)
"Can you believe that I only placed second in that Richard Nixon lookalike contest? The judges said that I didn't creep them out enough."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:54 (thirteen years ago)
"So are you on your way to Burning Man too?"
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 15:57 (thirteen years ago)
"I only accept gas or grass. As you can see I already have enough ass."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 16:00 (thirteen years ago)
"My tribute band's called White Rebel Motorcycle Club."
― "Did you see the sign on my car park that said 'Dead King Storage'?" (snoball), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 16:02 (thirteen years ago)
"Stop laughing -- just wait till the engine warms up."
― Øystein, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 17:19 (thirteen years ago)
My other penis is a harley
― ...to work on his autobiography, "kiddyfiddling as rome burns" (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 17:33 (thirteen years ago)
"I dishonoured my fellow Angels and was stripped of my colours"
― Sir Lord Baltimora (Myonga Vön Bontee), Tuesday, 12 February 2013 22:18 (thirteen years ago)
"I am cross at you!"
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 22:39 (thirteen years ago)
"I own this land! The rule is get your fucking clothes off!"
― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 22:47 (thirteen years ago)
"You won't find a view better than my nuts!"
― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 12 February 2013 22:48 (thirteen years ago)
"Wanna go for a ride?"
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 00:59 (thirteen years ago)
"Yes, this is a naked attempt to get you to sleep with me."
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:00 (thirteen years ago)
"Fashion is cyclical."
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:02 (thirteen years ago)
"Do you like my hog?"
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:02 (thirteen years ago)
"I got strip-searched by the highway patrol, okay?"
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:04 (thirteen years ago)
"What? Never heard of a codpiece?"
― Poliopolice, Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:07 (thirteen years ago)
"Not to be pedantic, but your scooter shouldn't have foot pegs."
― I wish every slot machine had EAT THE RICH printed on it (Crabbits), Wednesday, 13 February 2013 01:39 (thirteen years ago)
"I am Bob Dole btw"
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/02/25/p465/130225_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:40 (thirteen years ago)
"yknow I should really have thought about the photo frame costs before I married a giraffe."
― hot young stalin (Merdeyeux), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:50 (thirteen years ago)
"My wife did always say I care more about my penis than my family."
― Tuomas, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 13:57 (thirteen years ago)
"oh, her? it came with the frame."
― abanana, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 17:01 (thirteen years ago)
"Turns out she was just three kids in a trench coat."
― © all the feelings (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 18:51 (thirteen years ago)
Aw, I like that a lot.
― Øystein, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 19:19 (thirteen years ago)
yeah that's amazing
― administrator galina (Matt P), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 19:21 (thirteen years ago)
I say it every week, but that's a winner.
― Mark G, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 19:46 (thirteen years ago)
agreed, that's beautiful - it must win
― Eyeball Kicks, Wednesday, 20 February 2013 19:46 (thirteen years ago)
"She was a real snake, Jenkins."
― Even by Zales standards, that's sad. (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 20 February 2013 21:57 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm glad you like it; it was a long shot."
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/03/04/p465/130304_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 25 February 2013 11:43 (thirteen years ago)
"Uh oh, the lights have just gone out!"
The pic isn't showing for me.
― Tuomas, Monday, 25 February 2013 11:50 (thirteen years ago)
ttj
― Mark G, Monday, 25 February 2013 11:51 (thirteen years ago)
atm
???
― Tuomas, Monday, 25 February 2013 11:53 (thirteen years ago)