Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

I'm still off the OKC but I'm in the process of slowly getting to know an OKC-er (also no longer on the site) who I was talking to a year and a half ago before my life kind of blew up, at which point we mostly lost touch. But I'm glad we reconnected because she's great. I guess we'll see what happens and whether I have to begrudgingly give OKC some sorta props again (she was by far my highest local match when we were both on the site).

my new strategy of never going on the website until somebody messages has been going great. my inbox is empty and I haven't been on in a month

I guess that's ok, though I fear it means I'm silly.

I kinda got the same feeling but you know what, I DONT CARE NERRR.

http://i.imgur.com/cWVztwK.jpg

Wau.

hey wanna catch a yoga class some time?

Suddenly creeping on me, I see. :-D

Though if you're serious, sure!

Funny, one of the key words in my profile is yoga, the other is ballet. /flips hair

almost went with "looking good in them yoga pants gurl" but creeped myself out :D

we totally should though.

the funny thing about the negging i posted earlier: the girl i dated all summer before i left dc came to nyc to visit that night for a work thing and stayed with me. (i referred to her multiple times upthread - met her on okc, things were initially bumpy but settled into a nice healthy relationship, and then i had to move semi-against my will right as we were getting serious)

it had been four months since i moved, and a couple months since we'd seen each other, and in that time she'd expressed interest in seeing other people, and had started to do so, and we kinda each pulled away a little. but we caught up on each other's lives and hooked up the first night she was here and it was like getting kicked in the face - to be reunited with the person i loved, to know i can't be with her long-distance, to know that she wasn't going to move to nyc and join me after all, but to experience all the old emotions and sensations. i tacitly knew that it was doomed when i left dc, of course, but god i regret leaving now - this is all gonna seem goopy and sentimental when i look back it in six months or whatever, but nobody's ever loved me like that. just getting to hold her one more time revived all the old emotions i thought i'd subsumed. blug

well maybe you should move back to dc

i mean i don't know what 'semi-against my will means' but priorities

xpost - my office in dc closed and they offered everyone relocation or severance. i took relocation w/her full support, and the understanding that she wanted to move to nyc way more than i did when we started dating

don't think moving back hasn't occurred to me though :/

Ew. Why did I get back on this? 33 messages of suck, one mediocre date. Best messages so far are one guy who informed me that he read through all 21 pages of my answers, one guy with no pic or profile info asking if I was "really looking for casual sex," and one guy who asked (this was before I had a chance to fill out my profile), "Is this just some kind of weird experiment to see how many messages you can get by being pretty?" Yeah, a hostility-laced compliment is always the best way to go.

Dude I hung out with last night was fun and pleasant enough, but pictures were seriously out of date & I am way too smart for him. Also briefly wound up at trustafarian kegger.

Awww I just found one of my old roommates on here! Such a great dude. Probably would not date, but do have ws tendencies.

I find myself hoping a lot of my uninspiring wooers have deal-breaker answers so I can summarily dismiss them.

somebody messaged me back two months after I first messaged them. she has 'starship troopers' listed as a favorite movie but that only comes after a long list of auteurs. I fear it may be listed ironically. I don't know if I can deal with somebody who doesn't take verhoeven seriously.

this stereotyping thing thinks I am about 5 years younger than I am and lean

A lady friend of mine created a profile and linked to mine on hers saying I'm a nice guy, and the result is dozens of dudes cluttering up my visitors page. She's such a goofball.

Went on two dates with a girl who I got along with splendidly, lots of interests in common, but basically no chemistry. I've never tried to do the date->friend with anyone from OKC, but I sent her a message trying to be as nice as possible that I wanted to continue hanging out but didn't see us being more than friends, so that she wouldn't be led on. Haven't heard back since. Guess I should have handled this differently? I confess to being a dummy with no experience with this kind of thing.

Would also like to know how to say this without saying this.

I think you just sort of have to pull off the band-aid. If they're feeling the same way, they'll be relieved as well, but if they liked you then there's no getting around them maybe being sad or pissed off or whatever... them not answering your messages after hearing that seems pretty neutral, as negative reactions go. What is there to say?

I will actually give OKC props on the 'friends' front. I have a few solid people in my life as a result of going out once or twice and mutually conceding that, yeah, it ain't happening in the romance department but that we'd still like to be in one another's lives.

It's a dating website. I mean if both of you wanted to be friends and it worked out then congratulations, but you can hardly be surprised if someone you don't want to date doesn't want to keep associating.

Which is to say to vinnie that imo you did the right thing and there's no better way to do it, it's just that not responding is the other persons prerogative? f.haz otm.

i've attempted to be completely honest in my profile, but i'm kind of wondering . . . should i change my 'body type' from 'a little extra' to 'average'?

i mean, i *do* have a little extra but i'm also athletic and reasonably proportioned. is this a thing worth fudging?

I thought you were "really damn tall"

Avvvvvverage, mooks. Just my vote. Having to pick one makes for a really weird split around body-types for both men and women.

only so i can pack more on xp

Yeah, you guys are definitely right that if she isn't interested, getting no response makes sense. I guess I was more wondering that for people who were able to become friends with a date, how it happened. It sounds like I probably tried it the right way, but I am very big on second-guessing myself.

ty L

Like for instance it just fucks up what is perceived as "average" and if you're the kind of person who low-balls things on purpose it can fuck with how you portray yourself to others.

people keep on telling me to lie about my height : \

The catch there is many women are assuming you're lying about your height to begin with, so should you add in a couple inches to account for that assumption? And change your screen name to Vizzini?

thought about mentioning that I'm like 5'8, 5'9 with boots on! idk

xxpost Yeah, that's terrible advice. Unless you're planning to run a long con involving shoe lifts or a lotta slouching.

wish it was the 60s, when it was acceptable for guys to wear heels

of course every man over 6'0 would be barred by federal law from wearing heels

in fact every man over 5'7 is federally required to stoop until they are 1" below my height

I want to see the long-con shoe lift movie.

Just hold a curtain in front of your legs during the entire courtship.

gonna wear a cape

I have been progressively more intrigued by taller women, I think I should try dating over 6'

btw guys I apologize for using this thread as reading material, I haven't even attempted to get a date in like four months, but it's good to keep tabs on the game

Really do not get the height issue, but then again my last bf was the same height as me (5'4) so maybe Im an outlier on that front.

mookieproof, I'm glad you asked about which body type list. I had been using "a little extra," but changed it to "average" after talking with friends about how people's tendency to round down changes the values of those terms. Plus, I have a gut (which is "extra" and I have muscle, and it all adds up to pretty much "average" IMO.

Some other site I used years ago used the term "Thick" which I really liked a lot b/c it totally describes me, and it describes guys I like. Would also appreciate "solid," "dense," or "English bulldog."

Y'know, in my experience, it's often ladies of average height who require men to be a certain degree taller than them. The taller the girl, the more likely she is to understand what it's like to be written off over height-related issues. I've basically dated short-ish women and women that were a little taller than me but very few that were within a few inches of my height.

Vinnie, I wonder if your reply - "I wanted to continue hanging out but didn't see us being more than friends" - made it clear that you *actually wanted to continue hanging out*, b/c otherwise, it could read like the run of the mill polite no-interest message.

I think my mom is like 5'7" -ish, might be something to that adage about trying to find a woman like your mom I guess

haha no

I would support the wearing of cuban-heeled Beatle boots by all boys everywhere, in any year. I mean why be limited by when you were born?

May I also suggest these chic stove-pipe pants to go with them?

was I ever supposed to be wearing something else?