Worst TV adverts of the moment

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The low-fi ones like Cillit Bang and the consolidate-your-debts ones with people striding purposefully through call centres talking about CCJs – they're annoying but really well-made. Designed to give you the impression that these people are just like you and understand your needs (e.g. banks make me nervous, that place looks more friendly) and that they don't waste their customers' money on high tech marketing, they're down to earth you see. Scarily effective, apparently.

― beanz (beanz), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:22 (twenty years ago)

Except there's one fronted by a repulsive old guy with a paintbrush mustache who looks like he belongs to the British Union of Fascists circa 1935.

― chap who would dare to be completely sober on the internet (chap), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:29 (twenty years ago)

"he's young and confused"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:30 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, if you look there's a small dog driving at the wheel. In the idents before, um, Charmed they point at it and give it a variety of different hats.
-- Anna

Yes, as Hello Sunshine pointed out, this is indeed a kangaroo and the reason I clicked on this thread. But you know ... it *is* wearing a hat most of the time.

― Anna (Anna), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:38 (twenty years ago)

have we talked about that phone ad that uses a horrible version of "Hangin' on the Telephone"?

― kingfish has gene rayburn's mic (kingfish 2.0), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 16:41 (twenty years ago)

It's a kangaroo, and it wears a chauffeur's cap. Why do the sheilas need motor insurance if they aren't even driving?

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

― ailsa (ailsa), Wednesday, 8 February 2006 23:17 (twenty years ago)

I miss the Elite Carpet Drycleaners Ghostbusters rip-off ads!

― marianna lcl (marianna lcl), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:11 (twenty years ago)

(I don't hate the Sheila's Wheels advert at all)

These are the *best* adverts on at the moment:

"For bonza car insurance deals, girls get down to Sheila's wheels..."
"For ladies who enjoy their cars, Sheila's wheels are superstars..."

So damn catchy!

― Tehrannosaurus HoBB (the pirate king), Thursday, 9 February 2006 08:34 (twenty years ago)

I have a vision of Charlie Sheen sitting at a piano, writing the jingles for those ads.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:26 (twenty years ago)

Bleugh and that breathe easy strips advert or whatever they are - "this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot, its the veins in them exploding" or something like that. I feel physically sick especially when I'm eating tea in front of the telly. Sickening.

You forgot the worst bit. It goes something like:

[posh man with posh voice]: this is the exact size of your nasal passages when you have a cold - theyre not full of snot...

(Jump cut to posh mans mouth)

[same posh man putting on even posher voice]: YUCK!

[posh man back to normal posh voice]: its the veins in them exploding....

Truly infuriating.

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:33 (twenty years ago)

I did notice though that one of these ads featured about half a dozen redular members of the public, and EVERY ONE OF THEM was grotesquely obese. What can it mean??

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:43 (twenty years ago)

People need loans to fund their doughnut habits?

― beanz (beanz), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:48 (twenty years ago)

Personally I rob people to fund mine. Seems easier.

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 9 February 2006 10:51 (twenty years ago)

renault clio - that fucking girl thinks she's sooooooooo hot 'ooh nicole, papa, french cars, jean-paul satre, pffft!, the most romantic city in the world!' that and the stupid music dribbling past like some gallic weak orgasm. this advert could be responsible for shifting francophilia to francophobia in me. *yeeuch* shudder.

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:35 (twenty years ago)

You are called Jeremy and don't fool me!

― mark grout (mark grout), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:40 (twenty years ago)

bang to rights guv - i'm that smug and that bald

― john clarkson, Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:50 (twenty years ago)

oh god i hate the 'gorgeous is...' car ad.

― The Man Without Shadow (Enrique), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:52 (twenty years ago)

Me too. It just goes ON and ON and on AND on and on.

It's like a bad Calvin Klein ad from the early nineties.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 9 February 2006 11:56 (twenty years ago)

two months pass...

Dunkin Donuts - "Doing things is what I like to do...YES!" song

Make it stop!!

― Joe (Joe), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 11:34 (twenty years ago)

I loathe the crass sponsorship ads from Cadbury before Coronation Street and in particular the one with the grungy student type falling into a cardboard box while drinking tea out of a vase. What the fxxx is that about?

― Barry Scott, Monday, 24 April 2006 20:39 (twenty years ago)

I don't know if it's one of the worst or one of the best (for it's sheer improbability) but there's an ad for Kraft Cheese Crumbles which for music has a fake-EMF singing "They're Crumbelievable!" instead of "unbelievable." The guy singing sounds like he took the gig really seriously, too.
And what does "crumbelievable" mean, anyway? It's not really a pun. It doesn't really make sense as a slogan. I would pay $50 to be a fly on the wall during the creation and selling of this ad campaign.

-- Nemo (jdevereux...), January 20th, 2006 8:42 AM. (JND) (link)

I would've accused you of having hid in my living room last night were it not for the fact that you posted the above statement three months ago.

― Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Monday, 24 April 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

freaky

― sunny successor (katharine), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:09 (twenty years ago)

that pepsi commercial that looks like a car commercial, with the high pitched jingle that can annoy from several rooms away

― a.b. (alanbanana), Monday, 24 April 2006 22:31 (twenty years ago)

I want to kick the shitty pseudo-Austrailian guy in the Outback steakhouse commercials in the fucking teeth.

― joygoat (joygoat), Monday, 24 April 2006 23:27 (twenty years ago)

The new Daily Express advert with it's creepy fascist undertones. Actually made me go "OH FUCK OFF!" at my TV as the strapline came on at the end.

― Treblekicker (treblekicker), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 10:57 (twenty years ago)

There's one on just now for some kind of training company, ICS, it's got a really annoying woman saying "Want to learn at home for a new career but don't think you can do it? ICS you can!"

They think the line is so clever they make her say "ICS you can" about ten times in the one advert.

It makes me want to weep.

― Rumpie (lil drummer girl parumpumpumpu), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:42 (twenty years ago)

Treblekicker, what one's that?

The "did you feel something?" ad for Wilkinson Sword or whoever - razors seem to be the new chewing gum in unwatchable advert stakes.

― Markelby (Mark C), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:46 (twenty years ago)

Ha ha, yes that's terrible - esp. the inept dubbing!

― Kids Will Eat Them Till the Cows Come Home (Dada), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 11:47 (twenty years ago)

I surprised myself when I went off on an expletive-riddled tirade last night against the J Nesbitt one where he's on the phone rhapsodizing about his penis car when wifey says, "oh btw I'm pregnant," and cue the "let me call you back" and trying-to-cram-a-carseat in a 2-seater montage, then grimly phoning up about a papal carrier. As though by "pregnant" she meant "and with quints".

Combo of cliched corvette-owning jerk plus overstyled yuppie apt plus woman in role of smug manipulative killjoy really put me off! I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that.

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:06 (twenty years ago)

also, "nutrisse means NOURISH!!!" ARGH

― sgs (sgs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 12:11 (twenty years ago)

Manipulative wifey look slightly like Helen Baxendale (ie, "Rachel"). Coincedence?

― JTS (JTS), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:01 (twenty years ago)

express adverts viewable here: http://www.express.co.uk/videos.html

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 25 April 2006 15:15 (twenty years ago)

Did someone say Canesten? http://www.yeast.me.uk

― Gav, Monday, 1 May 2006 11:28 (twenty years ago)

FLOWMAX - drug for making old men not have to piss all the time. May result in reduced semen production, ya know. Anyway, great name for a drug that makes you NOT have to piss, Flowmax.

― dave's good arm (facsimile) (dave225.3), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 01:22 (twenty years ago)

am already fed up of football themed adverts and the WC doesn't start for over a month.

http://us.a1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/a/ad/adidas/ukcountdown_220x85_122005.swf

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:44 (twenty years ago)

"I think this is a commercial for insurance, but I'm not even sure of that."

I thought it was for the Yellow Pages...

Anyway, what about the latest Mini Baby Bell thing, with a central casting model woman (dressed like one of the Angels from Captain Scarlet) throwing some cheese out of a plane so some geeky, gropy skydivers leap out after them, but the geekiest one of all fails to catch his and it lands on a remote-control flatbed truck that an evil-looking Scandinavian boy drives away while cackling, forcing the parachutist to chase after it on foot through a giant concrete pipe only for his chute to get caught up in the pipe making him fall flat on his arse while the evil-looking Scandinavian boy eats the cheese and laughs even more madly than before?

What the fuck is that all about?

Meanwhile, Sheila's Wheels continues...

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 07:50 (twenty years ago)

"Put de lime in de Coke, you nut...."

AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

― hejira, Tuesday, 2 May 2006 13:40 (twenty years ago)

Immigration officer: How long have you been in Jamaica?

Dreadlocked white man: We bin hunnymoonin' 'bout fifteen years mon.

Me: So how come your passport hasn't expired?

― Hello Sunshine (Hello Sunshine), Thursday, 11 May 2006 06:03 (twenty years ago)

saw a meta-advert the other day, some branding company doing a 30-second infomercial for the (mind boggling in its own way) 3-fragrance ambi-pur thing (despite the fact that an advert for said air freshener already exists)

― koogs (koogs), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:32 (twenty years ago)

The worst tv advert of the moment is clearly the Rennies one with the grumbling volcano. It feels like it was made circa 1978.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:36 (twenty years ago)

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Thursday, 11 May 2006 07:39 (twenty years ago)

My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy. Because I'm addicted to reruns of American sitcoms, I end up on this station a lot. It's annoying because
1) they always run the same ads for their programmes in every single ad break
2) they don't change these ads for a whole month
3) their ads are SO LOUD compared to the programmes
4) their ad breaks are so long. I think we timed one the other night at four minutes

I hate them.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:23 (twenty years ago)

I really can't stand the sanitary towel advert with all the women marching in the streets. Grrrrrr.

― indolent girl (indolent girl), Thursday, 11 May 2006 08:26 (twenty years ago)

"My least favourite ads are any of the ones they show on Paramount Comedy"

Too right. How many times have they shown that promo for "Two and a Half Men" ??? The extent of Charlie Sheen's surgery makes me want to retch!!

― JTS (JTS), Thursday, 11 May 2006 21:37 (twenty years ago)

Oh, oh, also the one - for some kind of flapjack? - with the two women fishing, and one of them calls an oven "the magic box". Abysmal.

Totally otm. I've also been reduced to shouting at the telly recently by the jaffa cake advert with the woman stuck down a well and the new one for bogroll with some kind of balm on it ("I'm a bit of a clean freak" etc). Jebus, these are bad.

― Bill A (Bill A), Friday, 12 May 2006 09:52 (twenty years ago)

Applebee's has the worst commercials on earth. They make me want to kill.

― josh in sf (stfu kthx), Friday, 12 May 2006 16:42 (twenty years ago)

The Daily Mail "Free 'teach yourself Spanish' CD" one that's just been on. What Spanish phrase do they show someone saying to show how fluent in Spanish you'll be after buying their paper?

"Ti amo"

― Cressida Breem (neruokruokruokne?), Friday, 12 May 2006 17:46 (twenty years ago)

the Pepsi / XBox open top bus / victory parade thing.

― koogs (koogs), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:17 (twenty years ago)

Oh God, yes. It makes me feel sorry for Barry Davies, that he is reduced to such hackery.

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:21 (twenty years ago)

"Be a high rate saver!"

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 16 May 2006 11:31 (twenty years ago)

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