itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

one thing that cracks me up and shows exactly how out of touch I am from camping culture is the baseline assumption that coffee is going to be involved in some manner or form and the only thing at question here is the validity of the coffee maker

xp: omg lol axe-throwing log

never thrown an axe, but my lady-friend and I bring our bb guns

we could have sent someone to the hospital at jjj's bachelor party if only someone had thought to bring an axe

Imagining these guys hauling huge bags of green coffee beans with them to roast out in the wild.

Also Minnesota axe tossing, a new fad among the teeners.

I forgot coffee exactly once.

many people died that day

I feel like I do more stupid hazardous things in an average weekend than these guys did on this trip.

axe tossing is for assholes from the city who pay $3000 to go camping

betas

tossed an axe and woke up wet

the problem with this artisanal camping trip is there seems to be a severe deficit of hours spent sitting staring at the campfire while downing many beers

also lack of dancing to terrible music and pooping in scary portaloos

there is a certain part of me that is insisting that if I am spending four figures on a vacation, said vacation is going to include a comfortable bed and some combination of beach/casino/ski slope/stage show

if you wake me up to ride a motorbike to somewhere else I will punch you

i dont have a problem with french presses, i have a problem with pretending you're trapped in a dangerous extreme wilderness situation where you must rely entirely on your manly instincts while sippin on french press coffee

exactly this. i mean, the individual components are all fine, sure. rent a motorcycle and check out cool nature? ok! have some time alone camping? ok! have a artisanal food & cocktail tasting? fine.

but to combine all of these things into a single experience that you insist is about "essential manliness" is horrible screaming crazy-making nonsense and it makes me want to rend these dudes scrota from their bodies using nothing but a rusty hand trowel

quest for fire...roasted tomatoes

do they get meat brands as souvenirs?

i have no problem with people doing this as long as caity weaver gets to keep writing articles about them.

people who are so concerned about embodying a gender are funny, then sad. they don't make me angry. i'm like, oh, that's the cul-de-sac at the end of that long ridiculous road, glad i don't have to go there.

Matt P on point.

it is also funny and sad, yeah, it does make me angry because there are people who go around exploiting gender anxiety for profit, and i just think it's generally awful but also psychologically damaging and reinforces inequalities

there are people who go around exploiting gender anxiety for profit

Drop 'gender' and there's most of life explained, frankly.

to rend these dudes scrota from their bodies using nothing but a rusty hand trowel

Sounds very manly

yeah, I forgive, and kind of enjoy the campiness of intentional normative gender identification up to a point, as long as it's not misogynistic or homophobic

camping is at least part play-acting anyway

but elmo is otm re "screaming crazy-making nonsense". I have gone camping and prepared fine foods, and would get a kick out of a motorcycle ride on the way, but identifying this as "essential manliness" is really hilarious. Most of my camping experience has been with women and men, and if sleeping on the ground, cooking over a fire and taking a shit in primitive conditions is masculine, then bros should move to the 3rd world and become women

anyway:

http://24.media.tumblr.com/44c8efddb292809c4012db78e1f7c611/tumblr_mghy47xmVK1qj29d6o1_500.jpg

btw that works, right up until it doesn't

http://25.media.tumblr.com/40a7c100ce7e3cbdb7821106fd69a890/tumblr_mhiw3uDmWS1qg9kfqo1_500.png

"excuse me miss, has anyone ever told you you look like Bea Arthur"

is "make her come" on that list anywhere?

it's not foolproof but it helps

that is difficult to do as a meet-cute

not impossible mind you, but difficult

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljyl466UB51qj29d6o1_500.jpg

seems a tad excessive

I'm a man because that is the box I check on things and if people ask me I say I am. No signifiers or symbols here, thanks.

it is also funny and sad, yeah, it does make me angry because there are people who go around exploiting gender anxiety for profit, and i just think it's generally awful but also psychologically damaging and reinforces inequalities

― fueled by satanism, violence, and sodomy (elmo argonaut), Friday, February 1, 2013 10:40 AM (30 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yeah :(

http://25.media.tumblr.com/40a7c100ce7e3cbdb7821106fd69a890/tumblr_mhiw3uDmWS1qg9kfqo1_500.png

Or tell her she's a stud.

Tell her you'd hit it.

Fuck, the narration on the camping video sounds like the worst This American Life ever.

haha i am getting into a twitter spat about this

Oh man. What are the counterarguments?

it's more of a difference on why it's awful

on a different twitter account than your elmo one?

https://twitter.com/acontinuouslean/status/297432033624481792

lmao

haha how did it take so long for him to get to the "they are just douchebags" conclusion am a limited medium like Twitter

I like that the guy prodding him keeps going on about masculinity when it wasn't mentioned before he brought it up

first sign of trouble was the name "a continuous lean"

is there a single thing using the "a <adjective> <noun>" structure that's not douchey

mh, I believe the prodder is elmo

that camping expedition looks suspiciously like a matchmaking service for aspiring bros to meet other aspiring bros and hopefully join together in newfound brohood.