Correcting someone who's repeating an urban legend as something that "really happened": c or d?

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dude i just pasted that

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:44 (seventeen years ago) link

If anyone is interested, the Senator turned out to be none other than ... Al Gore.

hahaha. i love the structure of this, putting it exactly like a Paul Harvey anecdote, even with the pause. They need to work a bit on getting the sing-songy vibe in there.

I'M Paul HARvey, good DAY!

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:45 (seventeen years ago) link

Plus that one about "WTF someone sued McDonalds cuz their coffee was too hot" old chestnut. Twas true, but only half the story (coffee used to be way too hot to drink etc de blahdeblah)

mark grout (mark grout), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:45 (seventeen years ago) link

(Scott is leaving out the part of the story where he peed all over the turkey.)

Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Telephone Scam: The Georgia National Guard has reported receiving information that people are getting telemarketing-type calls prompting them to press #1 to continue to hear information about a nuclear attack in the U.S. The recordings use individuals with a "Middle Eastern" accent. If you receive one of these telemarketing calls - hang up. Do not stay on the line and follow any instructions made by the recording. By pressing #1, you are saying you agree to additional charges, even though you have received the call. By calling you they have your number, thus your phone account. Additionally, these telemarketing calls may have a secondary purpose to cause fear in the U.S. The purpose of terrorism is to instill fear in the population. They don't have to use a bomb to instill fear. This is an excellent example of psychological warfare, in addition to scam money to fund more terrorist operations.

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:48 (seventeen years ago) link

Everyone knows the terrorists are around and planning something big. What the FBI and CIA won't tell us is that there is a MAJOR conspiracy afoot which could affect us all here in the USA, THIS WEEK!

Everyone knows the 7-Eleven convenience store chain. They are EVERYWHERE, in every city and small town in the USA. In large metropolitan areas, they are sometimes only a few blocks apart. Anyone who has shopped in a 7-Eleven knows that they are owned predominantly by people of middle-eastern origin; in fact, the parent company of the franchise (7-Eleven Limited Partnership) is owned by a group with ties to Osama bin Laden.

Every single 7-Eleven store has been instructed to unleash attacks on their surrounding neighborhoods. This includes blowing up the stores themselves, possibly using 'dirty' nuclear bombs as well as conventional explosives, as well as outright assaults on the American people. This will cause a major disruption in ALL major American cities. If you live near a 7-Eleven, please be aware of this danger.

You are urged to boycott all 7-Eleven stores to keep yourself and your families safe from the terrorists.

Please pass this email on to any and every person you know, you may just save a life or two.

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

at several points, i've had to restrain myself when talking to these people. i think that much grief and energy could have been saved with "jesus CHRIST, dad/mom/uncle, ALL forwards on the internet are bullshit. if it doesn't have a link to an actual article from a legit news source(newsmax/WND don't count), the thing is bogus. bogus bogus bogus. And no, cell phones don't blow people up at gas stations. stop sending me that."

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Plus that one about "WTF someone sued McDonalds cuz their coffee was too hot" old chestnut. Twas true, but only half the story (coffee used to be way too hot to drink etc de blahdeblah)
-- mark grout (mark.grou...), September 25th, 2006.

errrr, hang on this isn't an urban myth. it happened. shockingly the full story was simplified in the retelling, but same goes for everything.

EARLY-90S MAN (Enrique), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:50 (seventeen years ago) link

dude i just pasted that

-- and what (an...), Today 11:44 AM. (ooo) (later)

i was talking about this:

I thought I might inform the few friends I have on my recent traumatic experience. I am going to tell it straight, blunt, raw, and I don't give a damn. Long read, I know but please do read!

I went to volunteer on Saturday at the George R. Brown convention for two reasons.

A: I wanted to help people to get a warm fuzzy.
B: Curiosity.

I've been watching the news lately and have seen scenes that have made me want to vomit. And no it wasn't dead bodies, the city under water, or the sludge everywhere. It was PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOR. The people on T.V. (99% being Black) were DEMANDING help. They were not asking nicely but demanding as if society owed these people something. Well the honest truth is WE DON'T.

Help should be asked for in a kind manner and then appreciated. This is not what the press (FOX in particular) was showing, what I was seeing was a group of people who are yelling, demanding, looting, killing, raping, and SHOOTING back at the demanded help! So I'm thinking this can't possibly be true can it? So I decide to submit to the DEMAND for help out of SHOCK. I couldn't believe this to be true of the majority of the people who are the weakest of society. So I went to volunteer and help folks out and see the truth. So I will tell the following story and you decide:

I arrived at the astrodome only to find out that there are too many volunteers and that volunteers were needed at the George R. Brown Convention Center. As I was walking up to the Convention Center I noticed a line of cars that wrapped around blocks filled with donations. These were ordinary Houstonians coming with truckloads and trunks full of water, diapers, clothes, blankets, food, all types of good stuff. And lots of it was NEW. I felt that warm fuzzy while helping unload these vehicles of these wonderful human beings. I then went inside the building and noticed approximately 100,000 sq. ft. of clothes, shoes, jackets, toys and all types of goodies all organized and ready for the people in need. I signed up, received a name badge and was on my merry way excited to be useful.

I toured the place to get familiar with my surrounding; the entire place is probably around 2 million sq. ft. I noticed rows as far as the eye can see of mattresses, not cots, BLOW UP MATTRESSES! All of which had nice pillows and plenty of blankets. 2 to 3 bottles of water lay on every bed. These full size to queen size beds by the way were comfortable, I laid on one to see for myself. I went to look at the medical area. I couldn't believe what my eyes were seeing! A makeshift hospital created in 24 hours! It was unbelievable, they even had a pharmacy. I also noticed that they created showers, which would also have hot water. I went upstairs to the third floor to find a HUGE cafeteria created in under 24 hours! Rows of tables, chairs and food everywhere - enough to feed an army! I'm not talking about crap food either. They had Jason's Deli food, apples, oranges, coke, diet coke, lemonade, orange juice, cookies, all types of chips and sandwiches. All the beverages by the way was put on ice and chilled! In a matter of about 24 hours or less an entire mini-city was erected by volunteers for the poor evacuees. This was not your rundown crap shelter, it was BUM HEAVEN.

So that was the layout: great food, comfy beds, clean showers, free medical help, by the way there was a library, and a theatre room I forgot to mention. Great stuff right?

Well here is what happened on my journey -

I started by handing out COLD water bottles to evacuees as they got off the bus. Many would take them and only 20% or less said thank you. Lots of them would shake their heads and ask for sodas! So this went on for about 20-30 minutes until I was sick of being an unappreciated servant. I figured certainly these folks would appreciate some food! So I went upstairs to serve these beloved evacuees some GOOD food that I wish I could have at the moment!

The following statements are graphic, truthful, and discuss UNRATIONAL behavior. Evacuees come slowly to receive this mountain of food that is worth serving to a king! I tell them that we have 2 types of great deli sandwiches to choose from - ham and turkey. Many look at the food in disgust and DEMAND burgers, pizza, and even McDonalds! Jason's deli is better than McDonalds! Only 1 out of ten people who took something would say "thank you" the rest took items as if it was their God give right to be served without a shred of appreciation! They would ask for beer and liquor.

They complained that we didn't have good enough food. They refused food and laughed at us. They treated us volunteers as if we where SLAVES. No not all of them of course... but 70% did! 20% where appreciative, 10% took the food without any comment and the other 70% had some disgusting comment to say. Some had the nerve to laugh at us. And when I snapped back at them for being mean, they would curse at me! Needless to say I was in utter shock.

They would eat their food and leave their mess on the table... some would pick up their stuff, many would leave it for the volunteers to pick up. I left that real quick to go down and help set up some more beds. I saw many young ladies carrying mattresses and I helped for a while. Then I realized something... there were hundreds of able bodied young men who could help! I asked a group of young evacuees in their teens and early twenties to help.

I got cursed at for asking them to help! One said "We just lost our ****ing homes and you want us to work!" The next said "Ya Cracker, you got a home we don't" I looked at them in disbelief. Here are women walking by carrying THEIR ****ING BEDS and they can't lift a finger and help themselves!

WHY THE **** SHOULD I HELP PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO HELP THEMESELVES!

I waved them off and turned away and was laughed at and more "white boy jokes" where made at me. I felt no need to waste my breath on a bunch of pitiful losers. I went to a nearby restroom where I noticed a man shaving.

I used the restroom, washed my hands and saw this man throw his razor towards the trash can... he missed... he walked out leaving his disgusting razor on the floor for some other "cracker" to pick up. Even the little kids were demanding. I saw only ONE white family and only TWO Hispanic families.

The rest where blacks...sorry 20% to 30% decent blacks... and 70% LOSERS! I would call them ******S, but the actual definition of a ****** is one who is ignorant, these people were not ignorant......they were ARROGANT S. The majority of which are thugs and lifetime lazy ass welfare recipients. We are inviting the lowest of the low to Houston. And like idiots we are serving the people who will soon steal our cars, rape, murder, and destroy our city while stealing from our pockets on a daily basis through the welfare checks they take. We will fund our own destruction.

By "US" I don't mean a specific race, I mean the people who work hard, work smart, have values and morals. Only people who want to help themselves should be helped, the others should be allowed to destroy themselves. I do not want to work hard, give the government close to half the money I earn so they can in turn give it to a bunch of losers.

I don't believe in being poor for life. My family immigrated here, we came here poor, and now thank God, and due to HARD WORK we are doing fine. If immigrants, who come here, don't know the language can work and become successful... WHY THE **** CAN'T THE MAJORITY OF THE HOMEGROWN DO IT!

If we continue to reward these losers then we will soon destroy our great country. I just witnessed selfish, arrogant, unappreciative behavior by the very people who need help the most. Now these same people who cursed me, refused my cities generosity, who refuse to help themselves are DEMANDING handouts on their own terms! They prance around as if they are owed something, and when they do receive a handout, they say it's not good enough! Well you know what......these types of people can go to hell for all I care!

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:51 (seventeen years ago) link

HAHAHAHA, i searched on amazon for that book with the apple & razor blade on the cover, and got the noxzema chick's chest instead:

http://ec1.images-amazon.com/images/P/0767824954.01._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V58769372_.jpg

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:52 (seventeen years ago) link

hilarious

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:55 (seventeen years ago) link

wow shakey mo has really gone off this time

xpost

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:56 (seventeen years ago) link

The most recent one I defused was a batch mail to friends about the heroic dog that saved thousands of lives on 9/11. Uh-huh. Found the snopes page, sent the person back a link, and she complained a bit.

oh yeah, you debunkers are always on the case of that heroic little dog.

DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:58 (seventeen years ago) link

I arrived in Moscow, Idaho (Home of Idaho University one block from Best Western) and went to dinner at Best Western. About 85-100 people were in the Restaurant. I'm at a table for about 5 minutes when this "Group" comes in (20 people). They have Anti-War Picket Signs with them. It appears that two of these demonstrators are Professors.

They all sit at a large round table behind me and begin to talk very loudly about US atrocities in Afghanistan. One of the "Professors" stands up and gives a brief talk about how the "US is famous for atrocities" and Afghanistan will be no different. One of the students asked a question about Viet Nam POW's. The "Professor" makes a comment about how that was only US propaganda about poor treatment of POW's.

OK - I'm really mad now and I jump up and go over to their table. (In retrospect - Over the entrance to the Restaurant is a huge American Flag. On each table is an American Flag and a small hand painted sign "United We Stand"). I excuse myself and ask the Professor if I can ask him a question. He says yes. I said that he appears to be of age to have served in Viet Nam, and asked him if he had served. His answer was, "NO - I defended this Campus and told the truth to the students. I then asked if he remembered what he was doing on February 16, 1969. When he answered, "Of course not - that was too long ago," I responded, "Really, I remember what I was doing. That was the second day of my capture and I had been standing in a bamboo cage for 24 hours with water up to my chest". I then said "Sir, your comments about how POW's in Nam were treated are a lie and I personally say to you, you are a ******* liar, as you never were there. I was a POW and they did not treat our POWs humanly. The only other person I have ever heard make the statements like you have is Jane Fonda. Is she telling the truth and not me?" He stood up and after about 10 seconds said, "Jane is a great patriot and I cannot visualize her lying." With that, I reached over and grabbed the small American Flag and United We Stand sign and said, "I'm taking this back to my table where it can be appreciated".

No one said a word to me as I started to walk back. However after a few seconds, people started standing up and applauding all around the restaurant. Two men got up from a table across the room and walked over to me. The first identified himself as former US Marine Lieutenant Flynn and the other man was former Gunnery Sergeant Graboski. In a loud voice after introducing themselves, Lt. Flynn said they were former Marine Guards at a US Embassy. He then said, "We are over at this table to defend the US Flag from all foes, both foreign and domestic." They then sat down and asked their Waitress to bring their meals over to my table. A few more minutes went by with loud comments from the "Anti-War" table. All of a sudden, "Gunny" Sergeant Graboski stood up and in a loud voice said "All of you heard what the President said the other night. You are either with the United States or you are with the terrorists." He then said, "Please stand and join me in God Bless America."

As he started singing, people all around the restaurant stood up and joined in. Several of the students at the "Anti-War" table also stood up half way through the song and joined in. Both Professors and the majority of the students remained seated and refused to sing. At the end there was a great ovation.

The manager came up to my table. (He and his staff came out from the kitchen and sang). He thanked me for what I started and then went over to the Anti-War table and asked them to leave. "I will pay for what you have had so far but I cannot in good conscience serve you - get out now!!"

One of the Professors then made a remark "Well, we are not going to pay one dime for how shabbily we have been treated." As they were leaving, one customer stood up and said, "Manager, here is $5 towards their bill, anyone else willing to chip in to get this scum out of here?" All over the restaurant, people stood up reaching for their wallet and saying, "I'll chip in" The Manager, in tears said, "My family is from Poland, I am now a citizen and am so proud of what I see tonight." He started crying and a couple of the waitresses helped him into the kitchen.

The two Marines and I were there for about another 20 minutes and finished our meal. The Hostess came up and showed us more than $100 dollars that all the other tables had told their Waitresses to give towards our bill. I thanked her but said I could not take the money. Lt Flynn suggested donating it in the Restaurant's name to the New York Relief Fund, so I guess that's what will happen. I just can't believe how Americans are coming together now.

Just thought you would like to hear how the rest of the country is reacting to what happened!!!

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 14:59 (seventeen years ago) link

hilarious

well, i was amused. I'm still trying to find that book, tho.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:00 (seventeen years ago) link

Thought you'd like to know what happened in a town north of Bakersfield California. After you finish reading this, please forward this story on to others so that our nation and around the world will know about those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York, PA and the Pentagon.

September 11th, a Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a town called McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York. He entered the business to find two Arabs whooping and hollering and really cheering it up. It was obvious they were elated with what had happened earlier. The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event. He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss told him, "Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again."

The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face. He told them never to bother and call for a delivery again.

Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community. Just letting you all know how Kern County handles this situation!! [And now the rest of the story: It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud driver called Pepsi driver and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit! At last report, the store was closed indefinitely. Good old American Passive-Aggressive Butt-Whoopin'!]

Pass this along. America needs to know that we're all working together.

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:04 (seventeen years ago) link

Jeff Benoit, a man in our church who has a friend who served on President Elect Bush's campaign in Austin. She called him to tell this story. Last week, Gov. Bush appeared at the thank-you banquet for his campaign staff, and was going table to table to shake hands with the 1000+ campaign volunteers. He got to one lady, who by a brief comment she made, indicated she was a Christian. She was there with her 16 year old son. Gov. Bush asked him if he was a believer, too. He said he didn't think so. Gov. Bush then asked, "Do you mind if I tell you how I came to know Christ as my Savior?" The boy agreed, and Gov. Bush pulled up a chair and witnessed to him for 30 minutes, and led him in the sinners prayer!! Jeff's friend was so choked up, she could hardly tell the story through tears.

Yes, my dear friend, we are living in the end times. How glorious to know that our new president is a man that doesn't feel the political pressure to glad-hand 1000 people, but would take 30 minutes of his precious time to lead a teenager to Christ.

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:10 (seventeen years ago) link

hahahahaha President Bush

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:11 (seventeen years ago) link

i love that "yes, we are living in end times" is like a high-five thing to say

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:12 (seventeen years ago) link

thats why i used to watch jack van impe

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:17 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.thewavemag.com/images/articles/6001-7000/6581.jpg

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:19 (seventeen years ago) link

My company once employed a lead IT guy who would pass along e-mails about impossibly lethal viruses whose existence Snopes debunked ages ago. IT IS ONE THING WHEN GRANDMA DOES THIS BUT I EXPECT A LITTLE SAVVY FROM YOU, MR. IT GUY.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:45 (seventeen years ago) link

hey as somebody who worked at the wtc can you tell me if you ever happened upon any of the guys who loaded it with explosives before 9/11 while making coffee or something

and what (ooo), Monday, 25 September 2006 15:56 (seventeen years ago) link

A Gentile's View of Today's Germany by William E. Grim
>
>- William E. Grim is a writer who lives in
>Germany and is a native of Columbus, Ohio. -
>
>I'm not Jewish. No one in my family died in the Holocaust. For me,
>anti-Semitism has always been one of those phenomena that doesn't really
>register on my radar, like tribal genocide in Rwanda, a horrible thing that
>happens to someone else. But I live in a small town outside of Munich on a
>street that until May of 1945 was named Adolf Hitler Strasse. I work in
>Munich, a pleasant metropolitan city of a little over a million inhabitants
>whose Bavarian charm tends to obscure the fact that this city was the
>birthplace and capital of the Nazi movement.
>
>Every day when I go to work I pass by the sites of apartments Hitler lived
>in, extant buildings in which decisions were made to murder millions of
>innocent people, and plazas in which book burnings took place, SS troops
>paraded and people were executed. The proximity to evil has a way of
>concentrating one's attention, of putting a physical reality to the
>textbook narratives of the horrors perpetrated by the Germans.
>
>Then the little things start to happen that over a period of time add up to
>something very sinister. I'm on a bus and a high school boy passes around
>Grandpa's red leather-bound copy of Mein Kampf to his friends who respond
>by saying "coooool!" He then takes out a VCR tape (produced in Switzerland)
>of "The Great Speeches of Joseph Goebbels." A few weeks later I'm at a
>business meeting with four young highly educated Germans who are polite,
>charming and soft-spoken to say the least. When the subject matter changes
>to a business deal with a man in New York named Rubinstein, their nostrils
>flair, their demeanor attain a threatening mien and one of them actually
>says, and I'm quoting verbatim here: "The problem with America < BR> is
>that the Jews have all the money." They start laughing and another one
>says, "Yeah, all the Jews care about is money."
>
>I found that this type of anti-Semitic reference in my professional
>dealings with Germans soon became a leitmotif (to borrow a term made famous
>by Richard Wagner, another notorious German anti-Semite). In my private
>meetings with Germans it often happens that they will loosen up after a
>while and reveal personal opinions and political leanings that were thought
>to have ceased to exist in a Berlin bunker on April 30, 1945. Maybe it's
>because I have blond hair and my last name is of German origin that the
>Germans feel that I am, or could potentially be, "one of them." It shows
>how much they understand what it means to be an American.
>
>Whatever the reason, the conversations generally have one or more of these
>components:
>
> (1) It was unfortunate that America and Germany fought each other in
>World War I I because the real enemy was Russia.
> (2) Yes, the Nazis were excessive, but terrible things happen during
>wars, and anyway, the scope of the Holocaust has been greatly exaggerated
>by the American media, which is dominated by Jews.
> (3) CNN is controlled by American Jews and is anti-Palestinian. (Yes,
>I know it sounds incredible, but even among the most highly intelligent
>Germans, even those with a near-native fluency in English, there is the
>widespread belief that the news network founded by Fidel Castro's friend
>Ted Turner, who was married to Hanoi Jane Fonda, is a hotbed of pro-Israeli
>propaganda.)
> (4) Almost all Germans were opposed to the Third Reich and nobody in
>Germany knew anything about the murder of the Jews, but the Jews themselves
>were really responsible for the Holocaust.
> (5) Ariel Sharon was worse than Hitler and the Israelis are Nazis.
>America supports Israel only because Jews control the American government
>and media
>
>For the first time in my life, then, I became conscious of anti-Semitism.
>Sure, anti-Semitism exists elsewhere in the world, but nowhere have the
>consequences been as devastating as in Germany. Looking at it as
>objectively as possible, 2002 was a banner year for anti-Semitism in
>Germany. Synagogues were firebombed, Jewish cemeteries desecrated, the No.
>1 best-selling novel, Martin Walser's Death of a Critic, was a
>thinly-veiled roman a clef containing a vicious anti-Semitic attack on
>Germany's best-known literary critic, Marcel Reich-Ranicki (who was a
>survivor of both the Warsaw ghetto and Auschwitz); the Free Democrat Party
>unofficially adopted anti-Semitism as a campaign tactic to attract
>Germany's sizeable Muslim minority; and German revisionist historians began
>to define German perpetration of World War II and the Holocaust not as
>crimes against humanity, but as early battles (with regrettable but
>understandable excesses) in the Cold War against communism.
>
>The situation is so bad that German Jews are advised not to wear anything
>in public that would identify them as Jewish because their safety cannot be
>guaranteed. How can this be? Isn't this the "New Germany" that's gone 60
>years without a Holocaust or even a pogrom, where truth, justice and the
>German way prevail amidst economic wealth, a high standard of living that
>is the envy of their European neighbors, and a constitution guaranteeing
>freedom for everyone regardless of race, creed or national origin?
>
>What's changed? The answer is: absolutely nothing. My thesis is quite
>simple. While Germany no longer has the military power to enforce the
>racist ideology of the Nazis and while all extreme manifestations of Nazism
>are officially outlawed, the internal conditions -- that is, the
>attitudes,world view and cultural assumptions - that led to the rise of
>Nazism in Germany are still present because they constitute the basic
>components of German identity. Nazism was not an aberration; it was the
>distillation of the German psyche into its essential elements. External
>Nazism may have been utterly defeated in May of 1945; internal Nazism,
>however, remains, and will always remain, a potential threat as long as
>there exists a political and/or cultural entity known as Germany.
>
>Now hold on a second, I hear many people saying. You can't possibly claim
>that Germans are as anti-Semitic today as they were during the years
>1933-1945. It is true that Germany today is much different than during the
>Third Reich. What is different is that due to its total defeat by the
>allies, Germany today is a client state of America and must do its bidding.
>That means repression of overt anti-Semitism. It's bad for business. The
>other thing that has changed is that, even though Hitler lost World War II,
>he was phenomenally successful in carrying out his ideological agenda.
>Germany, indeed virtually all of Europe, is essentially Judenfrei (free of
>Jews) today due to the efficiency and zeal of the Germans as they
>perpetrated the Holocaust during the Third Reich. In fact, a very
>convincing case can be made that Nazism is one of the most successful
>political programs of all time. It accomplished more of its goals in a
>shorter amount of time than any other comparable political movement and
>permanently changed the face and political structure of several continents.
>
>Germany is wealthy, stable, relentlessly bourgeois, and for all intents and
>purposes, free of Jews. Yes, there is a tiny minority of Jews, mostly
>centered in Berlin, and yes, there have been a number of Jews from the
>former Soviet Union who have emigrated to Germany, but most of the
>immigrants from Russia are not practicing Jews and do little if anything to
>promote a unique Jewish-German identity. The result of all this is that
>Germans today are able to reap the benefits of Hitler's anti-Semitic
>policies while paying lip service to the "need to remember." Young Fritz
>doesn't have to be overtly anti-Semitic today because his grandfather's
>generation did such a bang-up job of the Holocaust. There just aren't that
>many Jews left to hate any more, and besides, the Germans have their old
>buddies, the Arabs, to do their hating for them. You might call the
>overwhelming German support for the Palestinians to be a form of
>anti-Semitism-by-proxy. The German government has made cash payments to the
>State of Israel, as well as to individual Jews, to settle claims of murder,
>torture, false imprisonment, slave labor and genocide. Talk to most Germans
>and you'll soon discover that they think that the score has been settled
>between Germany and the Jews, that somehow the return of just a portion of
>what the Germans stole from the Jews is fair recompense for the deliberate
>murder of millions of people. If you think the Germans are truly sorry for
>what they did to the Jews, think again. There's never been an official "tut
>mir leid" offered by the Germans to the victims of the Holocaust and their
>descendants because that would admit culpability. Germany has paid off all
>claims against it without acknowledging responsibility in the same way that
>the Ford Motor Company engages in recalls of automobiles. It's all done to
>avoid liability.
>
>I have previously mentioned that Germans overwhelmingly support the
>Palestinians as opposed to the Israelis, and that this overwhelming support
>represents a form of anti-Semitism-by-proxy. Germans may claim to be
>supporting the Palestinians because they think they are an "oppressed
>people," but let's be honest - they are supporting the Palestinians and
>their Arab handlers because the Palestinians and Arabs share the same
>ideals as the Nazis. There's a long-standing history of German co-operation
>with the Arabs. In 1942 Hitler personally assured the Grand Mufti of
>Jerusalem that as soon as German forces conquered Great Britain, the Jews
>in Palestine (which was then under control of the British Mandate) would be
>exterminated.
>
>We should also keep in mind that the Arab terrorists who perpetrated the
>9/11 atrocities did their planning in Germany. There are several reasons
>for this. The first is the well-known bungling and de-centralized chaos of
>the German federal bureaucracy where literally the "linke" hand doesn't
>know what the "rechte" hand is doing. The second is that Arab terrorists
>can count on a substantial number of Germans who share their anti-American
>and anti-Semitic views. The former members of the SS and Hitler's
>praetorian guards, along with their neo-Nazi supporters, who gather weekly
>in Munich beer halls, made Osama bin Laden an "honorary Aryan" after the
>9/11 attack. Mein Kampf is also a best seller in the Arab world, especially
>in Saudi Arabia, America's putative "friend." Indeed, there is very little
>difference between the anti-Semitic rantings of Hitler and those of the
>so-called "spiritual leaders" of al-Qaeda, Hamas, and Fatah. The Arabs also
>owe Hitler and the Germans big time. Hitler killed off the Jews, and Konrad
>Adenauer and his "democratic" descendants replaced them with the Turks.
>Yes, the Turks aren't Arabs, but they are Muslim, and although Turkey is a
>member of NATO and has relations with Israel, many Turks identify and
>support their radical Arab co-religionists. Turkey remains as fragile a
>democracy as Weimar Germany during the 1920s. It wouldn't take much for
>Turkey to fall into the dark side of Muslim extremism. The end result of
>Muslim immigration into Germany has been twofold:
> (1) It allows the Germans to feign liberalism and being open
>to freedom and diversity; and
> (2) By replacing the Jews they murdered with Muslims, who for
>the most part are as viciously anti-Semitic as were the Nazis, the Germans
>have cynically assured that those few Jews who remain in Germany will be
>unable to reassert political power even in a minority role.
>
>A final point I would like to make concerning the reasons for the a
>resurgence of anti-Semitism in Germany is one that many will find at odds
>with the prima-facie evidence, or even appear to stretch the boundaries of
>common sense. Yet, I ask you to consider carefully my line of reasoning. In
>many respects Germany got away with the Holocaust without paying much of a
>price. Yes, many Germans died as a result of German perpetration of World
>War II and the Holocaust, and yes, there was much physical destruction in
>the country, but the situation is like the little boy who steals a cookie
>from the tray when it is cooling on the kitchen table. For his efforts he
>may have gotten his hand slapped by his mother, but the stolen cookie
>remains eaten nonetheless.
>
>After having committed the worst crimes in the history of humankind, the
>Germans were allowed to regain their sovereignty after only ten years;
>their infrastructure was completely rebuilt thanks to the generosity of the
>American people; and relatively few Germans were brought to trial for their
>monstrous crimes. Even those who were tried and convicted received
>relatively short sentences or had those reduced or commuted in general
>amnesties. For example, some members of the Einsatzkommandos, those Germans
>who, before the construction of the death camps, hunted and murdered Jews
>by the hundreds of thousands, received sentences of as little as five years
>imprisonment. If there were true justice in the world, Germany would no
>longer exist as a separate country, but would have long ago had its
>territory divided up and dispersed among the Allies.
>
>It was an unfortunate historical coincidence that the Cold War began just
>as Germany was at last being brought to task for its many crimes and
>atrocities extending back to the First World War. The new threat of the
>Soviet Union took precedence over a just settling of accounts with Germany.
>The tragic result is that many of the countries raped and despoiled by
>Germany, such as the Czech Republic and Poland, are just now coming out of
>decades of economic decline, while Germany - fat, sassy, arrogant,
>self-satisfied, and essentially Judenfrei- has enjoyed four decades of
>undeserved economic prosperity. We can't turn back the clock to redress all
>of the historical wrongs that have been committed by the Germans, but there
>are a number of things that can be done to assure that Germany can never
>again be in a position to threaten the rest of the civilized world.
>
>First and foremost is the realizat ion that, while not all Germans are
>anti-Semitic, there is an anti-Semitic tendency within German culture that
>extends back to the time of Martin Luther. Germans are instinctively
>anti-Semitic in the same way that Americans are instinctively freedom
>loving. Anti-Semitism has been and unfortunately remains the default
>ideology of the German people. All things being equal, Germans will
>instinctively support the enemies of the State of Israel. Therefore,
>America will need to monitor closely and be ready and politically willing
>to intervene at a moment's notice in German affairs when it appears that
>Germany is back-sliding into anti-Semitism. Additionally, it should be a
>goal of American foreign policy to oppose and to accelerate the
>dismemberment of the European Union. We must not allow German domination of
>the EU to accomplish through parliamentary maneuvering and brokered deals
>what Hitler and the Germans were unable to accomplish during the Third
>Reich.
>
>Given Germany's resurgent anti-Semitism (and that of France as well), a
>strong, German-dominated EU that tolerates and even benignly encourages
>anti-Semitism, and is diplomatically allied with the Arab world, is
>potentially the greatest threat to Judaism since Nazi Germany and a major
>threat to the United States as well. The enemies of Israel are the enemies
>of the United States. Let all Jews and Americans stand united as we
>proclaim never again to both the Holocaust and 9/11.
>
>_________________
>
>* This is the very first post-Holocaust picture of Germany that i have ever
>seen published that depicted the post-Holocaust country of the nazis
>with absolute accuracy in every detail. Over the years I have often written
>about the reunification of the two Germanys and described it as one of the
>greatest mistakes ever made in history, and wrote that instead naziland
>should have been divided into the four historical parts that is its nature,
>never to rise to brutalize its neighbors or the world again! A crucial and
>horrible error!
>
>It took only a few minutes during my first visit back to the land of my
>birth for me to realize that the place was clearly no different than when
>my
>parents and I had the good fortune to be among the very last Jews to
>escape, literally "minutes before midnight", when the gates of that
>man-made hell slammed shut with a resounding clang for the final time,
>dooming those of my people left behind, including over 50 of my immediate
>family.
>
>I recall the words of my beloved grandfather as we came to Breslau to say
>our final farewell, knowing that there was no likelihood of ever seeing
>each other again. He ran alongside the slowly rolling departing train we
>were on, knowing he was bidding a final farewell to his only son and his
>family. Even then he optimistically maintained that "no harm will come to
>us. After all, I served my country and my Kaiser as an officer, and have
>always been a good citizen."
>
>I do not know Mr. Grim, but I salute him for his clear view and thank him
>for writing this piece, which, had it been written by a Jew, would never be
>believed nor given its proper credence.
>
>Please do forward this article to your lists and see that it gets the
>widest possible circulation.
>- harry
>

s1ocki (slutsky), Monday, 25 September 2006 23:00 (seventeen years ago) link

I once stopped a woman halfway through telling a story about something
crazy that happened to her sister. I finished the story for her, and told
her it was an urban legend.
She still insisted that it happened to her sister.
(It was the Eddie Murphy in an elevator story, I think.)

shieldforyoureyes (shieldforyoureyes), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 02:43 (seventeen years ago) link

My brother tried to pull the "we found a dead scuba diver in the burnt out forest" story on me (he's a volunteer CFA during summer) years ago and I bought it! I now know it is a load though.

Ditto captain pugwash, I felt like such a tool when I found out that wasn't true :(

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 02:47 (seventeen years ago) link

Dear Penthouse, I often wonder if these letters are true...

S- (sgh), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 03:27 (seventeen years ago) link

tell us the lobster dildo story!

H2-H4 (H2-H4), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 03:47 (seventeen years ago) link

The...whaaaa?!

Trayce (trayce), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 04:26 (seventeen years ago) link

im totally cool with the gross/funny urban legends (tell em myself! lobster dildo 4eva)

-- and what (an...), September 26th, 2006.

H2-H4 (H2-H4), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 04:39 (seventeen years ago) link

you don't want to know. it involves too many dank caverns, smelly bogs, and snatch cesspools.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 05:41 (seventeen years ago) link

I once got banned from the work bulletin board for pointing out that an urban myth wasn't true (can't remember exactly which one it was, I think it was "slasher under the car") after they posted it there with a TELL EVRY1!!!!!! PASS THIS TOO ALL UR FRENDS!!!!!11!!!! warning. I was "belittling them" when they were "only trying to help".

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 06:36 (seventeen years ago) link

derailing the thread i know but whoa @ ethan having a real login

nervous (cochere), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 07:07 (seventeen years ago) link

Come on people, we're talking about JASON'S DELI here!!!!!

grady (grady), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 07:56 (seventeen years ago) link

"slasher under the car"

are these the guys who hide under a car in New Orleans and slash your tendons as you walk past? I was sceptical of these guys, until I experienced a guy ineffectually trying the other great New Orleans KFR ("Hey Mister, I bet you got your shoes on your feet - no wait come back I said it wrong").

DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 11:44 (seventeen years ago) link

are these the guys who hide under a car in New Orleans and slash your tendons as you walk past?

Substitute "guys" for "gang member", "New Orleans" for "Bristol" and "walk past" for "fill your car up with petrol", and yes.

aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 13:29 (seventeen years ago) link

People, please stop sending me pictures of "Tiger's wife".

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 13:32 (seventeen years ago) link

At least stop sending them to my work address.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 13:33 (seventeen years ago) link

Now there are myspace bulletins for just this purpose.

I'm a hard-core reply to all with the snopes link person. I can't stand it when people refuse to demonstrate even the slightest bit of critical thinking skills.

Party Time Country Female (pullapartgirl), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 13:46 (seventeen years ago) link

Have we mentioned the one that ends up :

he woke up in a bath that was filled with crushed ice, and his kidneys had been removed

No, I didn't even bother!

mark grout (mark grout), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 13:50 (seventeen years ago) link

Yeah someone was swearing the validity of that one on another board I post on

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:17 (seventeen years ago) link

People, please stop sending me pictures of "Tiger's wife".

forward them to me and i'll, uh, "take care of them".

otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:19 (seventeen years ago) link

also, remember that the more exclamation points your email has, the truthier it has to be. you need at least 2-3 per sentence, otherwise i won't take it seriously.

kingfish prætor (kingfish 2.0), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:22 (seventeen years ago) link

Nobody has ever, EVER been in their room masturbating with their eyes closed and headphones on playing loud music only to then open eyes and see hot cup of tea on the table that wasn't there before.

Konal Doddz (blueski), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:25 (seventeen years ago) link

I like charming, un-politically motivated ones and ones you have to wait for ages before being able to prove their falsity. For example, the one I was told a couple of years ago that goes: young couple having energetic buttsex on parents' bed > parents arrive home early > bed full of poop as result of alarmed withdrawl > dog hurriedly stuffed into bedroom to take blame > angry father takes dog outside and shoots it.

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:27 (seventeen years ago) link

Nobody has ever, EVER been in their room masturbating with their eyes closed and headphones on playing loud music only to then open eyes and see hot cup of tea on the table that wasn't there before.

yeah, i've found cold tea that wasn't there before which was kind of a let down because i like a warm beverage after rubbing one out.

otto midnight (otto midnight), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:28 (seventeen years ago) link

geez. .. imagine what might have happened if they hadn't thought of making the dog a patsy.

xpost

Sam: Screwed and Chopped (Molly Jones), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:29 (seventeen years ago) link

Personally, I first encounted the "cup of tea" one in an NME interview, attributed to either Stretch or Vern of Stretch & Vern fame

DJ Mencap (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:29 (seventeen years ago) link

this thread is brilliant. we fired the guy who used to do the shit ethan's reposting from our program because he got busted surfing porn and jerking off in one of the cubicles at 5:15am

TOMBOT (TOMBOT), Tuesday, 26 September 2006 14:41 (seventeen years ago) link

we need to recover from the kramer thread for a few days before we go there, guyz.

mahalo 4 ur kokua (grady), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 02:07 (seventeen years ago) link

http://www.patchadams.com/images/patchanim01.gif

"Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don ' t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens."

Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 02:13 (seventeen years ago) link

wokka wokka!

Abbott (Abbott), Wednesday, 22 November 2006 02:14 (seventeen years ago) link

twelve years pass...

Yellow #5 decreases sperm count!

fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Friday, 4 January 2019 05:39 (five years ago) link

best urban legend is the blowjob gone awry because of braces and pubes

louise ck (milo z), Friday, 4 January 2019 05:52 (five years ago) link

nah its the dog head party surprise

topical mlady (darraghmac), Friday, 4 January 2019 07:39 (five years ago) link

three years pass...

doing this nowadays gets you attacked as if you want the megacool story that didn't really happen to not be true or something or that you made it false with your correction.

so....dudsic?

sorry Mario, but our princess is in another butthole (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 February 2022 02:44 (two years ago) link

My brother swears the Dock Ellis LSD no-hitter story was made up and it's such a wet blanket sentiment

frogbs, Sunday, 27 February 2022 03:28 (two years ago) link

_I experienced a guy ineffectually trying the other great New Orleans KFR ("Hey Mister, I bet you got your shoes on your feet - no wait come back I said it wrong").


Love this

Johnny Mathis der Maler (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 27 February 2022 17:12 (two years ago) link

one year passes...

a friend of mine keeps telling people that Lucy Lawless is the daughter of Blackie Lawless and I didn't correct him the first time because I figured this was a one time story he would tell, only now he keeps repeating it, so now me telling him is going to make it look like I was laughing at him by letting him tell it the whole time.

it is kind of funny to me though in that he's only 12 years older than her and she grew up in an entirely different country. not to mention his real name is Steven Duren.


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