even more quiddities and agonies of the ruling class - a new rolling new york times thread

^fake trend

Also in today's NYTimes:

In Nashville, One Order of Bluegrass Please, Hold the Kitsch
Mexican-Born Los Angeles Man Finds New Career: Selling Tacos to Other Mexican People
Alabama Man Eats Bacon Every Morning "Because It Tastes Good"

Kitchen Cabinetry a Lucrative Niche for Carpenter Who Actually Trained As Carpenter

An Affordable, Not Particularly Attractive Axe With a Purpose: Chopping Wood

hahahah

Amtrak "Quiet Car" article is full of gems, especially:

People practice rap lyrics on the bus or the subway, barking doggerel along with their iPods as though they were alone in the shower. Respecting shared public space is becoming as quaintly archaic as tipping your hat to a lady, now that the concept of public space is as nearly extinct as hats, and ladies.

The gutter, I tell you! The gutter!

http://www.businessinsider.com/american-airlines-international-economy-class-2013-1?op=1

"hats, and ladies"

business insider piece is sorta like 'what would the "I was otherwise very normal before I became 4 years old" guy be like if he were a millionaire?'

rip hats, rip ladies

barking doggerel

As we approached our destination a professorial-looking man who’d spoken to them twice got up, walked back and stood over them. He turned out to be quite tall. He told them that they’d been extremely inconsiderate, and he’d had a much harder time getting his work done because of them.

“Sir,” the girl said, “I really don’t think we were bothering anyone else.”

“No,” I said, “you were really annoying.”

“Yes,” said the woman behind them.

“See,” the man explained gently, “this is how it works. I’m the one person who says something. But for everyone like me, there’s a whole car full of people who feel the same way.”

i love this fantasy

then the couple who had been talking realized the error of their ways and became law professors

society needs more quite tall men

xxp Oh me too, that shit is better than any other, more illicit kind of fantasy. I'm working seriously on turning from that kind of person to one who is entertained by human variety/expression in public and let me say it is HARD FUCKING WORK.

Although the woman yelling this morning about how we were all bound for hell and God would judge us on not having taken her advice and the opportunity to get saved had a strangely compelling delivery style.

"barking doggerel" has been a phrase that's haunted me ever since I read it

is that the official NYT term for rapping?

i love eavesdropping on other peoples weird conversations on the streetcar

often times theyre not even that weird, just poorly expressed or disjointed so they are easier to spin into something weirder than they actually are, also if the book you're reading is any good its p easy to tune most of the ambient noise of public transit out and kinda just focus on that although im not doing anything as creative as calling all modern woman sluts in the times or w/e so

Once on the C train a man was drumming loudly on the shared bench seat (and they're hollow so basically big drums) and I asked him to stop, clumsily because I was nervous to say anything, so I stupidly said something about how everyone would probably appreciate it if he stopped and he was like, you bitch, if you want me to stop have the guts to say so. Man, those were a rough few years on the C.

C train is a bad scene, no joke.

people who make noise / make a scene on the subway are just attempting to get reactions, so reacting never really solves the problem

C train is less rough these days, or maybe I just notice less or get targeted less than when I was so wide-eyed. Still happens, though.

this is why god made ipods

I share the last car of the A train with the same amateur preacher a few times a week. suuucks. everyone just tries to look away.
C train rules. you can look out the front window!

Truth! That's the good part.

I share the last car of the A train with the same amateur preacher a few times a week

is it the (african?) guy who exhorts you to love jesus christ 'with OLLL of your mind and OLLL of your body and OLLL of your spirit' or else 'you WILL. go. to hell'?

because that guy is awesome

The woman this morning helpfully described hell as being like Trinidad or Jamaica or Europe--places you've never been but that doesn't mean they don't exist. It's a big world full of islands and places; have you been to ALL of them? Of course not; likewise you shouldn't doubt the existence of hell any more than those places in the world.

makes u think

the existence of hell is what i'm counting on at this point.

If it's like Europe I'm pretty much unconcerned at this point.

Is there a dedicated NYC subway thread btw? I always want to post about the current round of terrible, inescapable movie posters or w/e but don't know where it would be on-topic.

i could totally get behind that thread

Subways are for sleeping: NYC Transit survival thread

Holla

I think there is another thread for ads even

i love eavesdropping on other peoples weird conversations on the streetcar

― future crimes (Lamp), Tuesday, January 29, 2013 12:47 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

weird streetcar

ok this is pretty good http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/shouts/2013/02/hacked-new-york-times-articles.html

bwaahahahaha

When Chris Finch gave up his six-figure job as a commercial-real-estate broker in Manhattan, feeling an inchoate itch for “something real, where I could get dirt under my fingernails,” he never thought it would lead to a brick-walled workshop on a grimy industrial street, hard by the Brooklyn side of the bridge. That’s where the twenty-eight-year-old now spends his days, and many of his nights, turning out the artisanal syrups and bitters that bartenders from Greenpoint to Harlem say have become essential tools of their trade. The rise of Mojo Mixological—named after Finch’s eleven-year-old Labrador—is just the latest “success” story in a borough that is rapidly losing its essence as it continues to ignore the lessons of the Stalinist two-stage theory of revolution. “The thing is, I’m rotting from within,” Finch said recently, with a haunted look in his eyes, as he paused for a smoke break on the workshop’s bare concrete patio.

Not sure how accurate these are as a sendup of present-day Chinese communist sloganeering, but the detournement of Q&A is always good for a chuckle.

I'm fond of this:

Mr. Wynn, thirty-two, is a hegemonist.

and the doorman, a worker

Not NYT, just a quid/ag of the ruling class: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324445904578284090209676324.html

1,300-square-foot his-and-hers closets for husband-and-wife clients

hahaha what is this even about

Ms. Charlton of Clos-ette says a new feature she's including in recent designs is a "virtual styling tool" consisting of computer screens and iPads set up in the closet so people can work remotely with a stylist who has a visual inventory of their clothes to scroll through.

LOL

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7y4w5rKQQ1qczd7uo1_500.png

hahaha

clueless so ahead of its time

Small, but relevant:

Brooklyn Mom Kindly Looks To Listserv For Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, Possibly Sugar-Free Personal Chef For Her 4-Year-Old

RIP childhood.

how is everyone coping in the post-url-shortening trick era

Just do the same trick but hit yr browser's stop button after the article content has loaded but before the popup appears.

does this bookmarklet still work? http://euri.ca/2011/03/21/get-around-new-york-times-20-article-limit/