Worst TV adverts of the moment

We take the piss out of Wee-eekes every time it comes on, and it's kind of spread to Air Wicks now too

A fair few patronising ads

1) Father/TeenageDaughter
2) Studentlad/DenseMother
3) Women/Makeup ads getting worse

etc.

xpost

Yeah, Timothy Spall's delivery of the "Wiiiickes" pay off line has taken him down in my estimation a tiny bit. Currently irritated by the way that Webuyanycar.com have completed the abandonment of the thumping euro-techno of their original ads for James Corden giving it a faux-emotive "enter your reg number now" voiceover.

Studentlad/DenseMother

God, yeah, new BT student ad is the worst. It doesn't even make sense!

Which aspect of it?

Does she not say she's just back from having been somewhere and he's a bit "not again" about it suggesting that she's been there before, then she seems surprised at his living arrangements because the concept of flatsharing with friends is so completely weird and alien to everyone, especially one who watches the soaps.

Also, wtf, really, Samantha Bond? Is she not better than that?

BT adverts have always failed to make sense.

I think time in BT world is compressed, so what seems like eight or nine months of this fascinating soap opera to us has taken up just a few weeks of their time. So his mother's visits are relatively frequent (perhaps once every couple of months or so?), but the last one took place before his flatmates moved in.

There's now a second "failed Apprentice task" advert for Philidelphia on.

Shooting fish in a barrel, but the latest Foxy Bingo ads annoy me intensely. "One fat lady who's a flirty thirty and doesn't have droopy drawers" is the worst, especially when she waves the lacy thong over her groin, but the astonishingly racist 'asian' who likes photography and amazes the woman next to her by using her knitting needles as chopsticks is jaw-droppingly bad.

In other shitty daytime ITV adverts, the sofa woman who can't help using her hands is dreadful and there's a different version of her in the Park Hampers woman, only she's only able to use her forearms.

how have we not mentioned WaxVac yet?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htbo1yW6qeU

is there a better moment on TV than the guy apparently lobotomizing himself with a Q-Tip? OW! indeed!!

the 5 hour energy dbag

the way he holds a book with his foot ugh die

5 hour energy has consistantly had the worst commercials on TV - actually speaks kinda well of their product

Polycell talking arse (literally).

our local go cart/ride park, FunSpot, has appropriated Gangnam Style for their latest commercials. I can't get this dude's goofy face out of my head.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4GeK8ztV0M

Their biggest selling point is free admission (and all rides you have to pay for individually I suppose)? That's almost as bad as that old Paulton's Park advert from the 80's where one of the 'attractions' shown was a middle aged guy dressed as a pirate waving a plastic sword around.

I can't get this dude's goofy face out of my head.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3d/GordonBarenakedLadies.jpg
(guy in the middle)

Jessica Ennis & Rory McIlroy managing the astonishing feat of making Jenson Button seem like the guy with the most personality in an advert. Well done guys :(

me and Joel have a running joke about Rory's terrifying zombie-like appearance in those ads and the probability that a generation of under 10s are gonna see him in their nightmares on the reg

they're horribly misjudged aren't they. This blog post nails it IMO:
http://potlatch.typepad.com/weblog/2013/03/santander-2013.html

It is one of the most unsettling pieces of film that I've ever seen, reducing advertising to a set of blank and bland facts, to be recited out of the mouths of an apparently arbitrary collection of sports stars. What are the celebrities doing in other people's houses? Have they broken in illegally? Or are we to suppose that they are ghostly apparitions?

"Did you know you can get 2.4% interest with Santander's new gold current account? Also I am going to eat your soul."

that cider ad with the "now you're downloaded, well done" etc as if it's a tech product.

The one where woman has orgasm at the thought of luxury yoghurt (don't actually see her eat any)

xp

oh god yes the cider ad is winding me to a fine pitch of hatred and i'm a drunk ffs

partly i think for the tone of "hey wow technology that people have been using for years exists!" and partly because it attempts to place the cider as some rural counterexample to iPads even tho the stuff is no doubt made in industrial vats by a petrochemical conglomerate

probably discussed already but any of the payday loan ads, and in particular the Wonga ones with the creepy rubber dolls and the "reassuring" tones of usury shill Nicholas Parsons.

any loan ads, payday or otherwise tbh. the soothing, playful invitation to rack up your levels of debt is on another level of moral repugnance really.

This fuckin' guy...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iw0acK3Jb6c&list=PL4D125C9646648E78

i kind of enjoy his work, don't feel he's taking the whole shilling double glazing thing too seriously

the soothing, playful invitation to rack up your levels of debt is on another level of moral repugnance really

Ooh ooh ooh, the Cash Lady ones with Kerry Katona. Like *anyone* thinks Kerry Katona is the soothing and reassuring voice of money management.

Those got spiked by Ofcom I think - for exactly that reason.

The wonga ones make me feel ill

I don't know if this thread is for UK commercials only, but the new Wendy's ads in the US are making me blind with rage.

"Roller food? Really?"
"I WILL KILL YOU AND HIDE YOU UNDERNEATH JIMMY HOFFA'S CORPSE"
"Roller food... tsk..."

(there was a US version of this thread but it was never obvious from the titles (maybe 'ads' vs 'adverts'))

That Lloyds TSB advert or series of with fluffy, cartoony CGI people puffling around in their safe little world.

Some advert for a phone, possibly Samsung, where phone's owner uses it on train as an ebook reader and then wafts into their ridiculous, open plan office full of beautiful people doing some kind of creative job.

Endless soundtracks of gentle xylophones and acoustic strumming and penny-whistles, verging either towards whistful hoedown or be good to yourself, go on, be good to yourself, you deserve it.

It's making me want to talk in Nadsat, if you know what I mean

yarbles

xp I would, but I wouldn't want to end up with eggy-weg on my face.

that Santander ad rules

i didn't know about this thread but this is my new home nice to meet you all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYgIhocp5iY

Robinson's fruit juice advert where it's 'good to be a dad, better to be a mate' or something

The increasingly meta saga of the Go Compare opera singer. It's not much use as an ad if no-one can remember wtf is being advertised, right?

Yeah, he's getting like those fucking meerkats.

I already mentioned this on the old IA thread, but Corden using the word "part-exing" in the Webuyanycar advert really gets on my tits.

Everyone involved in this should be shot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pf_aOlhjSJw

(I can't see youtubes on this browser so i hope it's the right one)

That's sort of ...

You know when an advert tries to take 'a common situation' as its starting point? But that situation in that advert isn't 'common' in the way the advert thinks it is

Indeed I do

Rather like if the 'naughtiness' in question were a young man wondering what it would be like to push an old lady in front of a bus -

plinky strummy plinky plonk

(Bites into chocolate)

I wanna watch your skull get cracked open
and see all the brains come dribbling out
what's your life worth anyway
you piss yourself everyday

'Allow yourself a bit of naughtiness'

DAD is preparing barbecue

KIDS are running around shouting

(Bites into chocolate)

doo-be-doodle plinky plonk plinky ba-dum

Why don't I take this can of petrol and douse
every inch of this fucking house
then drop a match on it
kids I never wanted and a life gone static
everything's so still and automatic
then drop a match on it

'Allow yourself a bit of naughtiness'

(Am enjoying this a bit too much actually)

You know when an advert tries to take 'a common situation' as its starting point? But that situation in that advert isn't 'common' in the way the advert thinks it is

Advert equivalent of The Wright Way, then?