Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

lool omg that would drive me insane

i know, right, it's like these pistachios are driving me insane!

Honestly, the arrogance of morons, sometimes. Fake workplace ADHD is the worst thing, ever - it's like the people who are habitually late for things and try to front that your concern about their timekeeping is like totes uncool and anal. Maybe you need to tell him, in professional company, just exactly why it takes so long to get things done? Provide a hand mirror.

i don't see how that's going to help with these pistachios?

Nuts to your pistachios.

solution: get pistachio ice cream

piss on yr pistachios

Unnecessary, gross grunting. Like this guy in the gym locker room, not exerting any effort, but just standing around, grunting and otherwise vocalizing. These are not fatty grunts, like escape me when I stretch, or sighs. It's almost like how some people hum or whistle, this guy was going "Mrrmummbp. Hrrm. Buh. Mmf. Buhhich."

My dad watched a lot of nature programs, and he one thing that made him yell at the TV was that they dubbed in animals' voices. He said that bears don't roar incessantly like Marlin Perkins would have us believe, but I don't know - maybe they were just filming disgusting beasts that hadn't learned to control their stupid vocal impulses.

FUck you, Nick. You're so full of shit. Not just here, in this thread, but in general.

don't worry, he'll never make it above being an innocuous thing

FUck you, Nick. You're so full of shit. Not just here, in this thread, but in general.

omg

is it worth even asking what that was?

LOL i can't believe Jesse of all people is calling me full of shit. dont make me bring up the les miz incident on ilx

maybe jesse was doing it in the voice of a pistaschio?

co-worker next to me sneezes several times a day without fail and it's always loud as fuck. are some people just incapable of sneezing without turning it into an earth-shaking performance?

absolutely ridiculous goals set by corporate that are impossible to reach by design, and used as an excuse to keep everyone at a quarter above minimum wage ("you'll all get commission if the whole store is at 5%!") (and used as a means of hiring people via false hope of commission) and then having a very successful day and still only reaching 4.3% and not even dreaming of getting commission because how the hell is everyone else going to get there. and then even though i get praised like crazy for not even reaching the number, the whole store week in week out gets reprimanded for not collectively reaching this impossible goal. i'm glad i'm leaving in a week but sort of outraged that it'll keep on being like that anyway.

in soviet russia you get purged

that's exactly what my situation is like in every way

http://img.timeinc.net/time/magazine/archive/covers/1935/1101351216_400.jpg

The idea that a bus transporting people from an airport would arrive with so little luggage space available, had people struggling to rearrange existing luggage (or rather loaded luggage) to try to fit things. So I got the driver to open the other side, thinking he'd open the boot.
Got on bus, realised that where I got off there was going to be traffic on that other side. Rearranged my luggage when bus stopped at the first main stop. Had to put them on top of somebody's suitcase so I worried that whoever might wind up leaving my bags by the side of the road if they had to get that case out, luckily didn't but i checked out of the window every time th ebus stopped anyway. Think I was lacking sleep.
When I moved my bags to other side of bus a family came along with several open topped bags and shoved them into that side of luggage area.
This meant that when I took my bags out these bags fell out and scattered contents all over the road. Still trying to work out if this happened when bus door opened or if my having moved bags left other things sliding and things were knocked. Anyway the idea of putting bags that weren't securely fastened at the top in the loose luggage area seems a tad shortsighted don't it?
I wound up picking up what had been lying facedown in a puddle, picking up various bottles of perfume or whatever that I think cam,e out of one container that didn't seem closable and sticking them in a bag that seemed to be at least semi contained, though without a means of actually closing it. So I'm not sure if 2 different people's gear would have been mixed up. Did at least try to make sure nobody lost anything though.
& while I was doing that my local bus home arrived then left the bus stop on the other side of the road.

Also stupid traffic control system around this area, on way out late last month I wound up just missing one bus, thinking there would be another one along in 10-15 minutes. Instead next one arrived about 50 minutes later by which time I was hitting myself about missing the intercity bus I need to connect to further transport. When this bus arrived i asked why so late? To be told that it had been stuck at a junction for an age. THe local council had decided about 2 years back to swap a series of roundabouts around town that appeared to work for a set of traffic light led junctions. The first time this had happened it had meant that traffic had nasty tailbacks every time it was remotely busy instead of the continual flow that a roundabout meant. But no they went and did it to at least 10 other similar junctions. So you can't rely on buses in mid afternoon on Friday and the weekend. Thought this started a couple of hours after I set off though.

& to cap off everything, since this bus was so late it was fuller than it should have been so I'm standing with my bag and cases and wind up with people trying to park prams on my feet which had nowhere else to be.

Our mail unit is kind of foolishly located right next to the card reader in our condo complex, but it's rather easy to pull off to the side so that others can get by and scan in (it's a gated community).

Yet a small handful will instead park right by the card reader while they go get their mail so that nobody else can scan in to get the gate open, while they take their good sweet time getting their mail.

I do not like these people.

co-worker next to me sneezes several times a day without fail and it's always loud as fuck. are some people just incapable of sneezing without turning it into an earth-shaking performance?

We have a couple of these sneezers in my office. I don't understand how this is something that is difficult to control. The one that sits closest to me honest to God sounds like she's either about to be killed or has just found a dead body. And that half a second where my "oh God there is a murder happening nearby" fight-or-flight instinct kicks in, followed by the "false alarm!" cloud of irritability, is not appreciated.

I'm not a scream sneezer but sometimes I sneeze like five six ten times in a row? And if I vocalize a little during a sneezing fit sneeze, it helps make the sneeze urge go away. For me it's more like actually saying the word "achoo." Otherwise I will just "scheee scheee scheee" sneeze my way into my grave.

people who file or clip their nails on the subway - vile

When I sneeze it's a big loud barking noise - I have no idea why and it's not something I'm able to control. I think people's sneezes are like their laughs - they just are what they are and you're born with it.

The guy sitting next to me who does that horrible wet slurping snot-snorting thing all day is still at it. I swear I'm going to beat him to death with my phone pretty soon.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b2/Monkees_daydream_believer.jpg
Cheer up, Sneezy Jean.
Oh, what can it mean.
To a scream sneeze believer
And a homecoming queen.

stupid neighbors part 942:

they never change their sprinkler timer settings! so the fucking sprinklers go off in the middle of the night always, even in the dead of winter. but they only have a tiny patch of grass between the street and the footpath, like the parking strip or nature strip or w/e it's called. If you park there & have to walk on that grass at all you are basically walking in slime-mud. It's so gross.

it's a rental but the landlord is an IDIOT and I hate him & by default anyone who lives there

When someone starts a thread on ILM that's called, "Songs That Feature Vowels Sung In Order" and someone else posts "the vowels aren't in order on this song, but he does go E I E I O during a refrain."

Then another post is made "what about that other song where the lyric goes A A A A a whole bunch of times?" and before you know it, the thread has nothing to do with the OP anymore.

Makes it really hard to make a proper Spotify list when that happens.

Ordered one christmas gift online this(last) year, and it finally arrived. Good lord. It's a copy of Chris Ware's Jimmy Corrigan book, fwiw, and I had to flip through it and marvel at how beautiful it was, not having seen a copy in some years. This was apparently too muvh for me, so I dropped the blasted thing and broke the spine! Goddamn savage. Argh!
Yeah, this isn't quite the right thread, but I couldn't remember any thread for idiotic things you do that make you want to go stub your toe on a doorsill.

Any home improvement project that starts with "well, I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work" and ends with "well, live and learn," and doesn't involve any research in between. That's what the internet is there for.

Ha that's pretty much my approach to home improvement in a nutshell.

booooooooo

Lucky for everyone, we rent so most of my "home improvement" involves hanging shelves or painting furniture. Or calling the landlord.

People who act like Facebook police. And me, for taking the time to complain about them.

when i'm searching on my phone for a specific term on ilx and it appears in one of the entire chapters of a novel that edward iii has for some reason posted to the noize board back in 2006 or w/e. There's an entire screen wasted, took my poor bastard nokia three minutes to load that, thanks.

If you are a parent w/child on peak period public transport, chances are you're being a complete and utter cretin. It's not usually the child itself who's the problem, it's the fact that now you are a parent, your peripheral view of the world has become so desperately acute that pretty much no one around you has any significance whatsoever other than your sprog.

duly noted

they're so into taking care of small vulnerable people in busy places they don't even notice other people have phones to fuck around with and coffees to drink

nobody asked ye to bring them into public space tbf, if it's not safe for them then......

if I was to take a sprog onto a peak time train it would be because someone asked me

i mean, yeah of course you can use the tram and yeah of course you can do it with a sprog and yeah of course you need a buggy for the sprog in town, maybe just consider idk folding it up when the tram is packed or idk not stopping at the door with it, idk.

Fully aware that (while it won't arise) if it did arise i'd have a reverse opinion, but my peers actually seem to manage this ok without around the place with their kids without being complete pains in the arse to the general public.

my experience of public transport is that it's not the people with kids who stand at the front of the bus blocking people's way when there's a load of empty seats, or sit across a double seat when the bus or train is near full, or treat their big rucksack to a seat of its own, or hold interminable phone conversations at full volume, or play their crappy music for everybody to listen to, but maybe i'm just biased

Yeah of course - just worth bearing in mind it's an absolute pain in the arse to travel with a child and even moreso to do it at peak times and sometimes people are stressed to fuck with it and don't think of others.

Not folding away a buggy is a crime though, 100% agree on that.

xp

we're xp'ing like mad here onimo, but i'm fully aware once you have one to cart around then healthy singles can fuckin well deal with it, which is fair enough!

Trains are probably different because of how stupidly overfull commuter trains always, always are, but chattering kids sometimes brighten up my bus commute with their cheery filter-free conversation since my journey isn't long enough to bother with a book or mp3s. Then again the kid who loudly announced that he wanted to sit upstairs but couldn't because upstairs was full of *points directly at me* FAT PEOPLE LIKE THAT FAT WOMAN THERE can sod off, and should have been told to by its mother, but he wasn't, and I couldn't think of a retort that wouldn't get me instant minus points for swearing at an 8-year-old. Sigh.

Just, taking the buggy onto a commuter-time bus should be a last resort and not something to do just so you get to the shops half an hour earlier, and if you evict someone from the seats in the buggy/wheelchair section then at least thank them, and trying to walk to my bus stop in the morning drives me mad because the school run takes up the whole pavement (and the parents are worse at obliviously forcing you off the pavement than the kids are), so if people could not do that it would be lovely, ta.

howabout "I'm Only Fat Because I Eat CHILDREN!!!"

I couldn't think of a retort that wouldn't get me instant minus points for swearing at an 8-year-old.

That's when you swear at the parent.

I like chattering/interactive kids on public transit, too.

- mail order companies that send catalogs to work. GTFO.

Reminds me:
Websites you order from once and then they send you actual inch-thick paper catalogues every few weeks forever and there's no obvious contact address to get off the list.

You do know you can send up to a kilo of stuff back FREEPOST, yes? Catalogues and a couple of lead weights to the mailing address. Also useful when in receipt of election pamphlets from Tories, UKIP, BNP.