Green cactus is much harder than black diamond.
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 20 December 2012 14:53 (thirteen years ago)
"We shouldn't have dropped acid before hitting the slopes."
― I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Thursday, 20 December 2012 14:58 (thirteen years ago)
"Did you notice how much the sun is wobbling?"
― Vinnie, Thursday, 20 December 2012 15:14 (thirteen years ago)
"Didn't I tell you: Waterskiing in the desert in winter is a fundamentally stupid idea??"
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 20 December 2012 15:39 (thirteen years ago)
"I don't care where Canada is"
― Mark G, Thursday, 20 December 2012 15:50 (thirteen years ago)
"next time we're definitely paying for the ski-lift"
― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 December 2012 15:54 (thirteen years ago)
"sacking my agent tomorrow, classy remake of the prisoner he said"
― r|t|c, Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:10 (thirteen years ago)
"YA I FUCKING KNOW IT'S HOT, OK? I KNOW. I KNOW IT'S HOT, I KNOW YOU'RE THIRSTY, I KNOW WE DON'T KNOW WHERE WE'RE GOING, I AGREE WE'LL LIKELY DIE SOON"
― banlieue jagger (darraghmac), Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:14 (thirteen years ago)
ESTRAGON:Well, shall we go?VLADIMIR:Yes, let's go.[They do not move.]
― emil.y, Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:18 (thirteen years ago)
^ Hoping to make that the new "Christ, what an arsehole", tbh.
I went with "Are we nearly there yet?"
― Mark G, Thursday, 20 December 2012 16:36 (thirteen years ago)
"these pretzels are making me thirsty"
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 20 December 2012 17:00 (thirteen years ago)
"Just imagine how great it'll feel to sit down by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate."
― Øystein, Thursday, 20 December 2012 18:41 (thirteen years ago)
^ pretty good tbh!
― before and after broscience (goole), Friday, 21 December 2012 06:27 (thirteen years ago)
"Machine wrapped, with butter?""Machine wrapped, with butter."
― I saw three shi*s come sailing in... (snoball), Friday, 21 December 2012 14:26 (thirteen years ago)
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2013/01/07/p465/130107_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:38 (thirteen years ago)
"I got this job because my previous employer was In-N-Out Burger."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:40 (thirteen years ago)
"'Shake-It-All-About's late for work again."
"My previous job was working as a musician and DJ. But it all went downhill when I decided to change my style and sound like Burial. Have you ever heard of Skrillex? Yeah, well, that was me..."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:43 (thirteen years ago)
"Better Out than In."
"I always wondered what 'management style hair' meant. Turns out that it means 'not that angular'."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:44 (thirteen years ago)
― emil.y, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:47 (thirteen years ago)
When the boss leaves we can use my glasses to make that Dd a Dood
― "reading specialist" (Z S), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:47 (thirteen years ago)
how long before whoever is responsible for these cartoons starts just hawking phlegm onto a sheet of paper and folding it, rorschach style?
― Roberto Spiralli, Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:48 (thirteen years ago)
If they're short of phlegm, then they could use obscure MS Office clip art.
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:50 (thirteen years ago)
Editor (to cartoonist): "You know, I really used to like that old 'Get Your War On' cartoon. Can you do something for our caption contest that looks similar?"
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:52 (thirteen years ago)
"You should get a pair of these new stereo Goggle Glass augmented reality gadgets. They make everything look like a crap New Yorker Caption Contest."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:54 (thirteen years ago)
IT'S A LIVING
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:55 (thirteen years ago)
as the out box, it seems like my time would be more effectively used walking around and dispersing these documents rather than waiting here passively for someone to come pick them up but hey IT'S A LIVING
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:57 (thirteen years ago)
"The boss is très riches."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 21:57 (thirteen years ago)
"My previous job was as a Nana Mouskouri impersonator."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:00 (thirteen years ago)
i'm trying to earn enough money to buy eyes
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:01 (thirteen years ago)
"If you think this internship is bad, there's a guy in the executive washroom whose job it is to hold the toilet roll.""I know! I interviewed for that, but I couldn't maintain an erection for 10 hours."
― earth of (snoball), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:14 (thirteen years ago)
"the gender dynamics of this whole thing are kind of funny on one level"
― goole, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:17 (thirteen years ago)
"I'd hate to be the shredder."
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:25 (thirteen years ago)
snoball is on fire!
― Faster than food (Myonga Vön Bontee), Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:45 (thirteen years ago)
"Christ, what an asshole."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:49 (thirteen years ago)
"This is normal."
"My ancestors have all been indentured office workers since the 12th century."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:52 (thirteen years ago)
"Being a Damien Hirst installation is the worst job ever."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:54 (thirteen years ago)
Shotgun?
― Mark G, Thursday, 3 January 2013 22:58 (thirteen years ago)
"Thirty years, huh? I'm sure Dad can fast-track you into management."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:01 (thirteen years ago)
"I play Tetris in my mind."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:03 (thirteen years ago)
"I'm not wearing any underwear today."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:04 (thirteen years ago)
"A calculator and a clock, PC? Sounds like hours of fun."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:08 (thirteen years ago)
"It was the Unabomber Manifesto that really got me into Survivalism."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:15 (thirteen years ago)
"Bad weather forced us back before we could reach the pole. So how was your weekend?"
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:23 (thirteen years ago)
"No, you're confusing Fermat's Theorem with Fermat's Last Theorem."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:26 (thirteen years ago)
"So I'm fucking her, man, and suddenly I'm super-aware that it's, like, IN-OUT-IN-OUT-IN-OUT..."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:33 (thirteen years ago)
"Mother died today. Or, maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure."
― Grampsy, Thursday, 3 January 2013 23:34 (thirteen years ago)