Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

(But yes, embarrassing)

The standing is a crucial component. I can eat with other people in a social setting, but being expected to stand and talk and hold a drink and a napkin full of mini-quiche ugh. I'm always so focused on getting my hands free that I stuff whatever it is in my mouth and then I'm chewing like a cow and that's always when somebody says, "So, carl agatha, how's that big case coming?"

Then I have to do the universal symbol for "I acknowledge you but do not want to talk with my mouth full" and suddenly everybody is watching me chew and I've got the added pressure of wondering whether what I have to say in response is going to make everybody annoyed that they stood there waiting and watching me chew. It's just the worst.

you ppl with your fancy work parties

Work parties at my new job are super fancy! And plentiful. I could have attended four holiday parties had I been so inclined (I was not).

you ppl with your fancy work

Standing and eating doesn't leave my hands free to applaud after a solo.

Just get a straw and blow bubbles

I'm a little irrationally embarrassed by my sudden overwhelming feelings of affection toward Bill Cosby.

YES. I hadn't thought of him really in a while and seeing him make crazy faces gave me huge nostalgic flashbacks. My cousin and I watched "Bill Cosby Himself" like a hundred times on HBO at my grandmother's house when I was a kid.

As for the sweaters this is one of my favorite things in the world: http://www.geekosystem.com/cosby-regression-sweater/

Amazing.

I remember watching Himself at a slumber party and LOLing my head off. My dad had a Bill Cosby comedy record (with the bit about him saving a snowball in the freezer) and I would put on my dad's big old 70s can headphones and listen to that record and laugh and laugh.

hearing people, usually drunk, talk in fake english accents.

― akm, Wednesday, December 19, 2012 2:03 PM (1 hour ago)

i watched a friend's play (another embarrassing situ) that was done entirely like this

It is embarrassing watching someone pretend to be drunk and doing a terrible job of it (whether IRL or in theater).

The standing is a crucial component.

It's not THAT difficult.

accidentally replying to all rather than just the sender, a feeling of shameful horror even when your message is perfectly innocuous.

instant suicidal urges if it's not innocuous.

ONE TIME I got an email from a nonprofit I had worked with for many years announcing an important event taking place the following day, which was a good example of how frustratingly disorganized they were. One day's notice for a major fundraising effort? Are you shitting me?

Anyway, forwarded that email to Jeff with some brief but irritated commentary on the matter, including at least one f-bomb, but really I replied to all. The whole mailing list. It was three to five years ago and I still feel sick thinking about it.

If you reply all on my work email it pops up a box asking if you really mean to, for which I am grateful.

where can you buy cosby sweaters

talking on the phone - ie me

I'm okay if it's casual friend phonecalls, but if through my work, or my freelance writing, I have to call complete strangers and explain myself I just, I can't stand it. Having someone kinda half interested going 'okayyyy' *silence* or 'uh huh' and I start imagining that I'm just pissing them off and wasting their time and oh god I just want to dig a big hole and bury myself in it. I hate hearing myself stumble over my words and nervously laugh and ugh i just DIE

I hate it

Smiling or waving back at someone who I think is smiling or waving at me but not. Want to disappear.

I get extremely embarrassed when the waiter/waitress asks me "how's everything tasting?" I'm not sure why, but I feel really awkward and embarrassed when that question is posed to me.

"Wonderful! Then tell me, what do you think of the smell of this place?"

everything is tasting like ash in my mouth.

somehow i'd be much more comfortable with "how are we doing over here" or some such. The tasting question makes me feel too much like a king or something.

(hands burger to waitress)
"My husband says this tastes like shit. What do you think?"

"Tasting" feels weirdly personal to me.

Also it forces you to answer a question before you can ask for whatever you actually need. "Fine except I need a side of ranch" "Dry, because I need another beer" "I don't know because you never brought silverware"

lol

accidentally replying to all rather than just the sender, a feeling of shameful horror even when your message is perfectly innocuous.

― Merdeyeux, Thursday, January 3, 2013 4:53 AM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This happened at work recently, in almost Abbott and Costello fashion, turned from embarrassment into outright anger. One person accidentally sent an email to the entire firm instead of just the necessary groups, and then hundreds of people responded to say "please take me off the email", whilst another 100-200 replied to say "Everybody STOP REPLYING ALL", while...replying all themselves.

Server actually became overwhelmed and crashed temporarily as a result. Was restored pretty quick but it did scare me that some of these were high level execs sending the stupid replies.

^^^this is the WORST.

There's a well-worn bit of net folklore about such an occurrence that derailed everything at a multinational for several days.

I suggested layoffs for all guilty parties but our leaders were not amused

this is the kind of simple thing, that like the basic steps you can take as a driver to prevent/help clear up traffic jams, should be basic instruction for every person living in decent society.

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

When I was little, I had an acute fear that one day (possibly as an adult) I'd be in a restaurant and the waiter would put a large napkin around my neck like you sometimes see in cartoons or caricatures.

My sister refers to her dogs as her children. Often. It's embarrassing.

Ugh I have multiple friends who bandy about phrases like "furbabies" and one of them is a rampant anti-kids woman (which is fine) but she goes on about her (now deceased) dog like it was her child. And calls other peoples dogs "godchildren" and shit.

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

Nobody loves dogs more than me, but 'furbaby'? ARGH VOM.

Are they literally yr children, tho? Yjat's how my sister(s) see them

(Thats)

Seeing my dad theatrically sighing and passing his hand across his face and/or chest in an attempt to get people to ask whether he's ok so that he can say 'I'm so tired'. I don't want to ignore him, but I do, because it's babyish and embarrassing, but it also feels babyish and embarrassing of me to pretend it didn't happen. Which I almost always do.

I have a strict "use your words" policy when interacting with speech-capable humans. I hate that shit.

(I doubt she thinks she gave birth to them, but I honestly wonder where the line lies sometimes)

"granddogger"

JUST HAVE A FUCKING KID

Not always possible for a lot of people, you know.

Still, and I say this as person who owns a tiny dog that often sleeps between my legs in bed, people who refer to pets as children are all sorts of horrible.

Person in question could have kids, and also loves to date guys w/kids already provided. Point taken tho.

my old boss was a gay man, and i know he saw his dogs as his kids. when one of them got cancer and died at age 14, he was out of office for two weeks, and when I saw him when he returned, I know he was broken inside.

i realize a lot of people think of humans as "different" and "not animals" but i don't think there is anything wrong with thinking of animals as your children, even if biologically they are clearly not.

I would protect my children with my life and would give one of you up before my kids.

Binx the Cat, on the other hand...

political debates

Usher's "Climax" and any other song that talks explicitly about, um, climaxing. I prefer sex lyrics shrouded in metaphor and shame, thank you.

i think i have a much, much lower tolerance for public asskissing than others do. i find it extremely gross and uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch while others seem to not be bothered at all.